Should average to below average guys bother with dating websites?

I recently joined a dating website and before messaging anyone, I asked some buddies and coworkers what they thought about online dating and their experience with it.

Of course I only asked guys and their responses were not encouraging at all. One of my buddies who is a fair looking guy, smart, and has very high self esteem, quit a long time ago because girls would not reply (the majority) or the conversations would last 2-3 words.

He could talk to anyone in person. But online he stood no chance.

I made a concentrated effort to find girls that I was attracted to and also had a lot of common interests. In terms of looks, I made sure they werent supermodel status so a guy like me could have a chance.

Girl one never replied and didn't view my profile.

Girl 2 viewed my profile and didn't reply. I'm disappointed because she seemed like the silly type, someone I could get along with. No reply pretty much burns any possibility of winning her over.

It appears that guys get the short stick, especially the ones who aren't great looking and/or don't make over 75K. Sure my evidence is anecdotal, but it still supports the idea that online dating is a waste of time for us.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Try okcupid, and pof. I disagree with the salary thing,sure some women might go for that on dating websites, but not all. I use okcupid and women will initiate the conversation, and my salary is $0, and stated as unemployed.

    For me what Iv'e noticed is,you just have to be genuine, ask them about their interests, comment on something she's wearing, yesterday I viewed a girls profile and she was wearing a gangar T shirt in one of her pics, so I commented on that, I was just polite and genuine, she messaged back and we talked about video games, and funny pokemon T's.

    You don't post shirtless pics like all the men on dating websites, a lot of men do that, I don't do that, and Iv'e had women message me about being original they stated that as one of their reasons they thought so, I never flexed in any pictures either.

    I have never actually met someone from a dating website, I have received numbers, but it's from girls 30-40 minutes away, and I never got around to visiting them, because I'm new to driving, and they live in busy cities, I have a small phobia of driving in big cities due to reckless driver's, assholes, and road rage.

    The hardest thing is finding a girl in your town that fits your prerequisites. Mine are attraction, personality, has no children, she seems like a chill non dramatic person.

    I'm rambling here, but I feel you, also keep in mind that if you look at the date they were last online,I started paying attention to the dates, and noticed MOST of them have not even been active! Which also leads me to agree with PANDAmonium's theory about '' The pick of the litter.'' Just make your profile interesting, no shirtless douche pics it doesn't impress most women, message women you think you would hit it off with, etc, I'm telling you the hardest thing is finding a woman in your town to fit your preferences.

    You might even be messaging women who are only looking for friends, in kind of a flirty you're interesting way, which might be why they are replying, or something you wrong perhaps( Choose your words carefully.)

    Women will message first, Iv'e noticed they usually view you a couple times before they finally message, why I personally think that is has to do with the fact that they're women, they probably expect you to message first I guess.

    Yes I think below to average guys should bother with dating websites because, EVERYONE deserves to love, and be loved. There are average to below average women on these sites too!

    I wouldn't take things personally from these sites stitch, a lot of these women have an idea of what kind of man they want before they even create that profile, just because you may not fit that specific woman's preferences, does not mean you don't fit anther woman's preferences.

    Good luck Stitches, you just have to learn from trial and error like you learn anything else.

    You may think you're average,below or whatever, but you're not on that site to date yourself, it's what the profile viewer thinks!

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    • I ran out of room, like a boss. You just have to be confident, interesting, polite. It helps to talk about things you find passionate on your profile, I have found out that women really like that.

      It's important to know this, you're not going to be attractive to EVERYONE in the world Stitches, NOBODY is, but you will always be attractive to SOMEONE.

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    • 30 blunders?

    • The thing with messaging women and them not messaging back, it has happens to everyone, it happens to me, people just look for specific things in a person, nobody can fit everyone's preferences.

      Those shoes are just way to big for anybody to fill.

What Girls Said 5

  • Dating site is very challenging for guys.I There are like 50 guys for 10 girls.Girls on there are also very picky because they know they can.They received tons of messages everyday from different guys.The only guys that have a chance over there is the one who is super attractive or successful.I actually find it weird because in real life girls aren't that picky compare to the dating site.Its worthless for guys unless if you willing to wait patiently.

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  • You sexy man! those bitches don't know about your greatness! I would cyber slap them for you! Lol

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    • You're a tough cupcake.

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    • You keep me well drained. LOL.

    • I am happy with the results lol

  • The girls that don't respond to "an average guy" on a dating site are not the ones you want anyway. Show you true smart, humor and personality and you will eventually find a girl online that will appreciate you. I see how smart and funny you are so if you keep your head up you will be successful.

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  • didn't expect you to turn into one of ''those'' gag guys...

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    • Haha at least there is an honest question in the mix of it, compared to some of the other ones...

    • Call it environmental conditioning.

    • oh well,here's your MRA membership,fedora and red pill. the crying ones are on the left,the angry mob is down the hall. welcome to the jungle.

  • I wouldn't bother with dating site... It's a trap

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What Guys Said 10

  • Sadly, this is true for most guys, including myself. I'm not the best looking dude out there nor do I think I look that bad. Out of probably 30 or so messages I've sent on POF and OKC, I've gotten a total of 2 or 3 responses. Most of them were just generic replies when I put a lot of thought into my messages.

    I do have some better luck when meeting people in real life because people see me in person instead of me having to describe myself (which I suck at tbh). The main reason I joined the online dating sites was because I moved to a much smaller town where there was pretty much nothing for guys in their mid-20s to do or meet people except at the bar. Since I don't drink anymore, I didn't want to go there. Also doesn't help the fact that all of my friends live 30 minutes away so I definitely don't want to go the bar by myself haha.

    But yeah online dating is not for everyone. Even if your personality or criteria fits the girl's ideal characteristics in a guy, you'd be lucky to get a response in most cases.

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  • I wouldn't be discouraged if only 2 girls haven't replied. It's all about the numbers, as others said, girls get way more messages than guys. I've heard that girls can get dozens of messages each day. You're lucky if they even read yours and check out your profile. For me personally I felt a good success rate for replies was about 10 to 1. If I sent out 10 messages and got one to reply, that is considered doing well on dating sites. Unfortunately if the girls are getting that many messages, then yes, they can afford to be extremely picky. It does suck especially as you said, when you find a girl who sounds perfect and you're sure you'd get along well.

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  • I've seen a number of articles that state women want to see salaries in those profiles, so if you want a girl that doesn't want you for your money, well I guess you're looking in the wrong place. In general women that use dating services are shopping for a bank account. My brother is the IT director of a dating website which I will not name, and girls that use that service are willing to date complete weirdos as in like they wear a cape on dates and shit like that so long as their salary is high enough. The weird shit I hear on the back end makes me laugh laugh all the time.

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    • Lol a cape on dates, do they ask the waitress to call him lord voldemort too?

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    • Are there a ton of fake profiles used to lure in the desperados? Most dating websites seem to go that route.

    • No, the service he works for is manly for working professionals. They do complete work ups of these people, back ground checks, they have dating directors/couches, the whole nine... These women know what they are in for, and so long as their financial status is right, they don't seem to mind dating these dudes at least for a while until they lose their wits or find better prospects.

  • I've heard the paid ones are a little less retarded, free ones have tons of fake profiles for whatever creepy fucking reasons, you can reverse image search a few and see. Guys do get the short end of the stick because girls don't intiiate irl, let alone on these sites. Unless you posted a picture of Mark Wahlberg or some shit.. I think more of the girls on those will reply but it's just so much harder to try to text and shit.

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  • The problem with profiles is that they are profiles. Imagine you're in a store in the cleaning isle and you see two cleaners, each with profiles for their labels:

    1. "White bottled fluid that kills 99% germs and disinfects. $10."

    2. "Blue bottled fluid that kills 99% germs and disinfects. $2."

    Which is the better value? Same difference; anytime you can be compared in a generic fashion ( because let's face it, no one's profile but mine ( which actually gets hits and messages for some fucked up reason ) says "I'm a total asshole, a crabass, and prone to fits of mild insanity". and in comparison each one says "I'm nice, and like this and that, and you know what? Let's get a puppy! You like puppies. I sorta do." ) the value matters more than the content.

    So it's just "I make 30k a year" vs. "I make 300k a minute."

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  • The problem with those sights is that they are such a male populated user base that girls essentially have their pick of the litter so your odds are a lot lower than they honestly should be. I am not saying don't give it a try just don't be disappointed if it ends up not being what you wanted.

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  • From my experience, the worst place to go for dating online are dating websites. I've met way more women from normal forums that were not dating specific versus those that were. Women go there looking for something specific, usually...so you often won't get very far.

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  • Of course, it's all window shopping. That's why online dating is a losing proposition for most guys.

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  • Come on Stitches, who are you trying to fool.

    Everyone on GAG already knows you're a pimp.

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  • Dating sites are for sap sucker guys and low self esteem attention hungry women who need their pathetic egos boosted when they aren't getting male attention.

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