Can't get over my ex boyfriend and it's been 7 months.

I was dating this guy back in March and we dated for about 3 months. That isn't a long time, but he told me within weeks of dating that I was the one he was going to marry, and that when I finished this year of school, he wanted to buy a house and move me to Alabama with him. We unexpectedly broke up in May when he cheated on me, it was a shock to all of my friends, and his friends, as well. He began dating this girl that he cheated on me with in September, and I can't move on. I cry when I think about things we did together, the fact that she is laying in his bed, where I did. I drive by the place where he works ( granted it's on the road I live on), and look to see if he is at work. I have a friend who is still friends on Facebook with him, and I look at his page often, and cry seeing her posts on his wall. I was in love with him, and thought I was going to marry him. I compare guys I am talking to, to him, and it seems as though no one will be good enough.

why am I struggling to move on?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are struggling to move on because this man promised you what you wanted to hear. Some people do that for some reason that I don't know, but it sounds like you were caught up in a game that he made up and changed the rules to as it went along. I know its painful, but you have to realize he never did love you and his words were meaningless. He had you convinced that he was your soulmate, but it was all just smoke and mirrors.

    As far as the new girlfriend, don't let that keep you up at night. He's playing a game with her too, maybe in a different fashion than he did with you, but a game none the less.

    You need to love yourself and strive to be the best you can be, whether it be work, school, or anything you decide to do in life.

    Losing something you thought was real and was going to last is a very painful experience to go through.

    Keep your goals in mind and work every day to achieve them, even if you can only do a little each day and you will get past this and be happy once again.

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What Guys Said 5

  • You're struggling either because you haven't found someone else "worthy" or you developed some kind of emotional dependency on him.

    These aren't always bad things, and usually I say just get over these things "naturally" or as time goes on. But in the case of a being cheated on by a player after just a few months of dating, it should be something you should make a conscious effort to get over because it really isn't worth it.

    Maybe focus on yourself and your friends whom you really trust or your family. Do stuff to preoccupy your mind - a hobby, activity, etc. Maybe just talk to someone as therapy? You may realize the more you talk and express your feelings about issues like this, WITH REAL INPUT NOT JUST SOMEONE WHO NODS AT/AGREES WITH YOU, the quicker you'll figure it out and be able to move on.

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  • 7 mos. isn't that long. It's relative to the investment you put into a person not the length of time.

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  • Goodness how sad, my heart broke while reading this :(

    I'd be struggling too if this happened to me, you just need a distraction, maybe getting another boyfriend will help.

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  • you're struggling because, he slick talked you out of those panties like a true player.

    its over let go and move on don't dwell on the pass.

    the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

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  • You need a distraction. So I'm going to drive down there, pull up in your driveway, sweep your pretty ass off your feet, then take you out for dinner and shit.

    You deserve it ;)

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    • Then why'd you answer anonymously? :(

    • Show All
    • Why, are you blushing through text? Do you require more written sweet somethings? More observations of your foxiness? Good night stories that would make Scrooge smile? The finest erotica you've ever laid eyes on? The deepest discussions know to a 24 year old?

    • Haha, basically all of that and more:)

What Girls Said 4

  • You're struggling to move on, because you were in love with him. If you put your whole heart into someone, it's only natural to struggle moving on and seven months isn't very long at all. I'm sorry that this happened to you, it's sounds terrible, but eventually it will pass.

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  • the fact that he made all those promises early on is a big red flag. He is doing the same thing w the next and when that plays out he will continue down the line breaking hearts. He is not worth it, only fools rush in, remember that

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  • Just give it some more time

    Don't be do hard on yourself

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  • he cheated on you. he's not worth it. I know it's hard to move on when you have loved someone very much. It tore you apart when he broke up with you, especially when you didn't see it coming. 7 months is not that long, considering how much you loved him and were expecting from this relationship.

    Whenever you think of him, tell yourself that he is a cheating bastard and a liar. He's not worth your love. Block him on Facebook if you need to, since seeing his Facebook seems to trigger your emotions. Whenever you feel like stalking him, force yourself not to. You will have a hard time to move on if you keep being updated with details of his life.

    Instead of thinking of the things you two did together, try to think of sth you don't like about him, there must be sth you don't really like about him.

    Regarding him saying that he was going to marry you just within weeks of dating, like others have said, it is a redflag. because I don't think one can so sure that the others' the one in such a short period of time. next time before you fall for someone that deeply, make sure you really know that person first.

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    • Update: I woke up this morning to a notification that he had requested to add me on Snapchat, to what should I make of that?

    • If you dun think you can talk to him without triggering your emotions or be comfortable to be in contact with him again, ignore his request

      He might want to get back to you OR he might just want to be friendly with you. just don't read into things or expect too much. right now you need to give yourself time to heal and think about what you want. He cheated on you and broke your heart. I am not saying people won't change. But give yourself time to think if you really want him back in your life.

    • you can meet new people, get a new hobby. it really helps you to move on . Back when my boyfriend broke up with me a few months ago, I was very devastated and kept thinking about staying in contact with him. Then I start working on myself, spend time with my friends. and got a new hobby and meet some new nice fun people. I m happy now w/o him. when I am at the same event w my ex, we talk to each other a bit

      It takes time, but eventually you will get there! you never know wt the future holds you! :)

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