Are people who date interracially the undesirables?

For example, the stereotype of WW/BM is that those WW struggle with WM & are typically less attractive so they turn to BM, knowing that their figures and appearances are acceptable with them. You rarely see a Cheryl Cole-Ashley Cole couple

With WM who date AW or BM the men are typically socially awkward or unattractive. These are usually the guys who rant about WW not worshipping them so they turn to 2 groups of women who they know will settle for any WM. You end up seeing Robert De Niro's and Rupert Murdochs with these chicks.

It seems as though those who exclusively date interracially form fetishes as a result of being undesirable to their own.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hang on... In what world is Robert De Niro undesirable?

    I wonder if you realize how racist you are. Are black men not deserving of hot, desirable white women just because they're black? Have you the dates of Lewis Hamilton and Eddy Murphy? Are Asian women consigned to dating undesirable white people because they can't do any better?

    Or is it possible that the people who find it acceptable to date interracially are less racist, and are more in tune with seeing a person for who they are and not just their skin color and what they look like?

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    • haha my question exactly. If young don corleone, or raging bull is an undesirable the wtf am i?

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    • That just confirms you have bad taste in general. I think it's really sad, because you're raising a really important point here, that there's a lot of undesirable creeps and their dating habits, but we can't talk about that because of your irrational prejudice against other people.

    • Of course you find them attractive. The same way people online love Emma Watson but have VS models

What Guys Said 5

  • Meh as we all know I like Asian women... Ironically I find it hard to get a date with an Asian girl and overly easy getting a date with a white girl... So no it's not because I'm unwanted by my own race. I just think Asian women are on average a lot more beautiful and they're generally more polite etc... I'm not the kind of old man looking for a thai bride agency guy.

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    • You aren't exclusive to one race though. There's a difference...

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    • Well I mean I've only dated white girls, but I like other races all of which I haven't dated...

    • Exclusive meaning you'll only date one race that isn't your own. Then you would ONLY act on it so it'd be unlikely that you would have dated white girls...

  • Hmm I think it can happen especially to those who think of other races as a kind of fetish. To those who genuinely treat people of other ethnic backgrounds as human beings and they have a mutual attraction I think can be very successful and not based on being undesirable or anything. I mean I'm definitely not the most desirable guy in the world but I don't care about the race of woman that I date as long as we're compatible. There are so many legitimate reasons two people can't work things out and I think race isn't one of those.

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  • NO

    I've dated within my race I've dated outside of it. my girlfriends who have been of other races have also dated within their race and outside of it.

    so no

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    • the fact that you mention cheryl and ashley cole or robert de niro is all the answer one needs. Or how about Taye Diggs and Idina Menzel, OR Ryan Goslin and Rosario Dawson, Seal and Heidi Klum, David Bowie and Iman, or Frederick Douglas, Jack Johnson, Sammy Davis Jr, Wolfgang Puck, and so on

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    • From my experiences they tend not--as a result of lack of opportunity--they begin to fetishize whatever race, typically black girls/guys or Asian girls. They know those three groups can often be desperate to date or marry a white guy and will put up with being a fetish

    • can't say, "in my experience" I've ever come across women like this. I've seen women who date black men exclusively but it never seemed to be fetishizement due to desperation. In fact they are girls who often times got flack from men of their race for not trying to date within their race... Maybe it's just where I'm from though.

  • I wouldn't say it's a hard and fast rule that those who date people outside of their own race are undesirable; sometimes people who are genuinely interested in each other just happen to be of different races. I have noticed, however, that in the case of white women dating black men, the women are usually unattractive, obese, unpleasant, etc. I don't know why a guy would actively choose this, other than perhaps a race fetish.

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  • lololo.

    yes, way to stereotype...

    there are good and bad reasons to date exclusively interracially, but then why should somebody only date in their race anyhow? racial allegiance is a social norm/construct.

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What Girls Said 5

  • It depends on the person. I had plenty of relationships with white men before my current boyfriend and none of them were bad relationships, they just ended mostly from us being incompatible. I just don't see race when deciding who to date. My boyfriend has a great personality, he's well educated, funny, etc. so I chose to begin a relationship with him. Not because I "struggled" with white men, but because I just liked him.

    For people who do struggle within their own race then it could be a possibility. However, people who exclusively date interracially are no different to me than those who exclusively date within their own race in my opinion. I think it's mostly just preference although I'm sure there are situations like you've described where these people just can't get someone of their own race so they turn to another race. So, I'm not saying the situations you described don't happen, because I'm 100% sure they do, I just feel like those situations don't represent the majority of interracial relationships. Of course, this is strictly my own opinion and is not based on hard evidence or anything.

    Now, regarding "fetish" situations. I feel like that's mostly people who date their own race and then one day they wake up and say "I think I want to try _____ race of men/women just to see what it's like." That's pretty much them fetishizing the race and just wanting to try it out because of certain stereotypes (mainly sexual stereotypes) that they've heard about that race.

    For my own current relationship, I never thought of his race when we were getting to know each other. I didn't just automatically say, "I'm done with white guys." Lol Like I said, I just don't care about race. I would date white guys again, just like I would date any other race of men if I were attracted to them. People who fetishize a race are disgusting in my opinion.

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  • what's wrong with robert de niro ?

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  • I swear race fetishes are so creepy :( My dad has one and I almost broke up with my boyfriend, because I thought he had one... thankfully he doesn't :0 or I'm in denial. I really don't think interracial dating is the result of being undesirable by one's own race. From my own experience that is not the case. Spanish and Moroccan guys hit on me quite a bit though.

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    • The answer below mine leads me to state that I can't speak for my boyfriend lol

  • You claim to be in an interracial relationship. So is it you that is the undesirable or is it your boyfriend?

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    • Neither of us are exclusive to interracial relationships. I pointed out a difference dear

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    • By coincidence, 0. The only group I'm not so attracted to and cannot see myself with are Indian men. Also, I personally wouldn't marry a Muslim

    • I'll agree with you on the Muslim thing. I wouldn't want to open that can of worms.

  • Robert De Niro goes with black women because he likes them. I don't care what he looks like he could find plenty of white women to be with, if that is what he wanted.

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    • well he did hook up with ashley judd (who is hot by any standards) and uma thurman (not my cup of tea but is considered beautiful by many)

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