I dated a guy in college for 5 months we got along really well but he broke up with me because he was going off to do army training. We had a lot of mutual friends so we remained distant friends over the last 5 years that maybe talked once or twice a year but nothing serious.
I had dated other people since him and he had gone back to an ex of his during that same time period. I just let it go and moved on with my life. I am not the type of person to hate someone or be immature about it. The longest relationship he has had over the past 5 years was with one girl for a month otherwise he has not tried to date anyone else. (He is not the type that will hook up with random girls either and he was not having crazy one night stands or anything like that)
I have been in a serious 4 year relationship since college and it is very apparent on Facebook. He called me about real estate and we ended up reconnecting. Long story short we started talking every day for hours on end and texting. He made it clear that he could see himself marrying me. He said "I broke you up out of a relationship the first time we dated and now I'm doing it again and it will be the last time I have to do it." I hadn't been happy in my relationship so I semi went for it. We ended up making out and had sex once. I held back some because it's hard to let go of 4 years of feelings so quickly. He picked up on that. Eventually saying that I just needed to be single for awhile and figure out who I am without a guy in my life for once.
However, he said he will be here for support in anyway possible just not with dating/sex. He said he can never see himself dating me and that I am not cut out for the army way of life but yet he is making extra effort to be my friend. He invited me to come out with him for New years to stay at his place with him. He made it clear that he doesn't want me to get upset that he will be hitting on other girls etc. That hurt to hear him say that but I know he said that so I see that he is serious about being friends.
Why does he want me so badly to be his friend? What purpose does it serve? We were getting along so well but I screwed up by holding back but rightfully so. After 4 years you can't just flip a switch and be open to dating/relationships right away. I had no healing time whatsoever.
Is there hope he will give it another chance in the future? That's what I truly want. He just understands me better than anyone else can. I can't explain it. We connect so well.
Most Helpful Guy
I think he genuinely cares a lot about you. He understands the life of being in the army and doesn't want to put you in any stress over that. but before I try to answer the rest, Did you end the 4 year relationship before actually making out and having sex? and if you did how long were you single before meeting up with him again? the only reason I ask is because that will tell him a lot of things about you and how you are in relationships.0
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