Competitive people... how do you do it?

how do you do it to stay so motivated and confident? don't you feel like giving up sometimes? or that you're not good enough? or do you get scared of failure?

i've never been a competitive person. and I'm starting to find that this is a problem. I kind of grew up thinking that winning is not that important and that all that matters is having fun. which is why I'm a loser. seriously. I don't even bother trying sometimes. I let other people get ahead because I feel like I'm not good enough. but now, I work in sales, and I love my job, and I am finding this motivation to beat everyone else. sometimes I feel incompetent and insignificant, but I push myself and I tell myself that I'm not letting the other people take my sales. I am definitely getting better and I wan't to get ahead.

this also applies to dating. I've never dated. and I'm kind of used to being ignored, especially by the guys I like. I figure, "oh there's probably someone more interesting and prettier than me for them, " but nope. I'm going to make the guy I like see that I am great, even though I'm not that great.

at times, I do feel inferior and that maybe I'll fail. but idk. I think of all these competitive people and how they keep going no matter how hard things get and I want to be like that.

so how do you guys do it to stay so determined to win?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's mostly competition for the sake of competition itself. It's not really about winning. But winning can be a way to measure it. Competition doesn't even have to be against someone else. Competitors are really competing against themselves. It's about doing it better, faster, stronger, more graceful, with a bigger bang. Those things are reward enough on their own. It's like a drug, like a high. The bottom line is that it just feels good.

    I think it's just a natural thing with some people. I was always competitive. Not so much to win, although winning is always nice. When I really think about it I really can't explain why, except that it just feels good. I never cared about being first. I just cared about doing better than yesterday. With me it was mostly sports when I was younger, which gives you a physical and mental high, but I'm competitive about most other things also.

    With me it was almost entirely about the here and now. It feels good in the moment. It feels good to exert that energy. It feels good to take your muscles to the limit. It feels good to draw that air deeper and deeper into your lungs. It feels good to go faster faster faster, farther farther farther, higher higher higher. You just have to feel it and want it, because anything less just doesn't do the job.

    Lol, I'm probably repeating myself, but I just don't know any other way to explain it.

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    • I see. Its like an internal rewards thing. So if you fail at something, do you still feel pretty bad about it? Or are you at peace with losing?

What Guys Said 2

  • It's not a problem with being competitive, it's a problem with believing in yourself. It seems like your starting to get motivated and believing in yourself, you just got to put the attitude that you use for your sales job to other parts of your life. Hope that this makes sense! :)

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    • Yeah I think so too. I think approaching people and being assertive at work is helping me be assertive in other areas of my life. I really push myself at work and I've stepped out of my boundaries while socializing so it has helped me be more talkative too. its weird because I'm usually shy and passive. now I really do try to get what I want. I'm not going to step aside for others to get what I want.

    • Good job, just keep that up! :D

  • im kinda the same as you an not super competitive , but when I want something I become super competitive and motivated and the way I accomplish what I'm going after is just by simply putting my mind towards it till I get what I'm going after.

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    • yeah me too. I barely learned how to work for what I want. I am the type of person who gets easily discouraged but I am trying to be persistent. gosh sometimes I feel like giving up but I am tired of letting others get what I want.

      what do you do when you get discouraged?

    • Exactly ! ill usually do something else for a moment like take a short break, play one game on xbox live, take a 15 min nap with music on and then get back to work.

What Girls Said 1

  • I focus on the prize

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    • what do you do when you get discouraged?

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