I'm always afraid I won't have anything to talk about on a date?

I've actually never even been on a date before, but my biggest fear is that we will completely run out of things to say after like 5 or 10 minutes into the date. Or even have dead silence in the car on the way there. Girls are you afraid of this too? Is this likely to happen or not really? I guess it's best to go on a date where their is an activity to fill in the quiet moments like going bowling. Right?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Not really... maybe it's different with some people, but at least in my experience what makes a couple bond is a good conversation, while on the other hand... "doing" something without talking makes me feel super awkward next to the guy I barely even know. (unless we knew each other well beforehand, that is).

    If you and your date have even the smallest thing in common, I can almost guarantee you won't run out of things to say. Just don't answer everything with a "yes" or a "no" because it will dull things up. Keep it interesting instead, but don't overdo it. If you run out of ideas or opinions for a moment, you can always ask her a question or two and just listen. That should help the conversation avoid being one-sided (maybe it's even better if she talks a bit more than you do) and you get to know her as well.

    Maybe it sounds more complicated in paper than need be, but it really isn't. Chat about anything and everything you and she can just like you would chat with a friend. No need to add extra pressure or drama. If done right, things will just flow from there ;)

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    • In case you need topic ideas, these are good chat starters:

      - Ask her about her music/movie taste.

      - Tell funny stories to each other. The funnier/more random the better, but keep it classy.

      - Traveling and cuisine.

      - Mystery/ghost stories. If she's into those, these always keep the chat alive for hours.

      - Ask her about hobbies/sports/literature, etc. You can ask her about more details or answer with your own hobbies. why not both? :)

      - Interesting news and/or local stuff.

    • Lastly, you don't have to fill every single moment with chatter. If you start to get along well, a few moments of silence here and there won't hurt! :)

What Girls Said 5

  • Always have 2 or 3 good stories prepared in the event of a silence. They don't have to be mind blowing, but they should be at least interesting. And always feel free to ask questions even if they're random. Remember the point of dating (especially the first date) is to find out how compatible you are, so you want to find out as much about her as possible.

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    • If I met the president, business leaders etc. and I tell her about it, does this come off to show offy? Thanks so much!

    • just say you met the president. She won't believe you and you'll spend 5 minutes trying to convince her. lol

  • asking a random question shows that you really want to get to know her, that you're really interested. it's really nice when a guy asks questions, don't dig too deep just really basic ones. while on the other hand randomly saying something will come off as awkward. well for me it is at least, like when there's a silence and suddenly the guy is like "once when I was little I fell in horse poop" then I don't know what to reply like I'll laugh but it's awkward. but maybe that's just me! just asking questions will keep everything interesting and she'll feel like you want to get to know her, which is a nice feeling :)

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  • Ask her about herself...and listen to her answers.

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  • Try and talk about something they might relate to.

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  • Think. Of topics ahead of time

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What Guys Said 4

  • A few things.

    Honestly, if you have chemistry, and you're attuned to each other, those silences won't even matter. You could be totally silent, and yet, inwardly, everything is still happening, it's like a weird paradox where you're totally still, at peace, in each others' presence, and yet there is still so much energy flowing between you. That chemistry is generally there from the start, it's not something that can be forced. So it's there or it isn't. If something is going to work, it's going to work, it can't be forced. So that should hopefully reassure you, that you don't have to put in the extent of effort that you think, to keep things alight.

    Next why is it such a big deal if there is silence anyway? People generally talk too much shite! If there is, it is not just your fault, there are two parties in any conversation, and you can't control what they will do, they are just as responsible. So if it's going to peter out, it's going to peter out, irrespective of your will on the matter. As soon as you try and use force to sustain something, it becomes laboured, and unnatural, and well, I just don't think it is viable into the long term!

    But yes, it's easier to do something slightly fun and unusual which will facilitate conversation in itself. Don't go to a bloody cinema!

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    • you have any ideas? I think bowling would be OK, but it's not really anything special or different. I see what you're saying though. Some girls make it a lot easier to talk to them and create a conversation than others. I hate it when I talk to a girl and she barely has a response and gives me nothing to go off of.

  • How could you ever run out of things to talk about? Do yourself a favor and start writing out some memorable stories on paper. Read them. Remember them. Tell them. Think of how easy it is to talk here... why should it be any different in person? Yes, I realize it often is, but it's not for a lack of thought, it's for a lack of expression.

    If you have nothing to say, you're filtering far to many thoughts.

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  • Ask her about herself like her plans for the future like next year.

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  • Woah woah... silence isn't always bad!

    Don't try to fill every empty moment with "stuff"

    It gives the other person time to think about what they're going to say, it lets them know you're thinking about what you're saying, etc.

    Yes, sometimes there are awkward pauses, but believe me when I say that any girl who starts judging you because there's a lapse in conversation is more insecure about themself then your actual conversational abilities.

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