I'm 21 and I'm not waiting for marriage, it's just that I want to loose it to someone that really cares for me that's all. How do I now that he's just not in it for the sex?
Most Helpful Girl
There are several options that you can choose from.
One is a friend with benefits situation. Obviously they care about you if you guys are close enough for you to consider approaching him with this option. But be forewarned that you two will need to sit down and talk and have a serious conversation laying down guidelines and goals and fears. The only way to handle a friends with benefits situation is to be mature about it and to communicate.
Next, you can find someone that you care for and enter into a serious relationship with them. I recommend this one more than a friends with benefits situation though it does take more time. The important thing to remember for this on is that ideally, you want to be in love and you want the relationship to have gone on for a while. Also, do not start the relationship thinking about sex and how much you want to have it- it screws up the dynamics of the relationship and when the moment comes when you're about to have sex, there's too much pressure on the act for it to be relaxing, and disappointment is sure to follow.
But I understand the position that you're in. We all go through he stage of wanting to be in love and wanting to be in that glorious relationship that we just haven't entered into yet. But don't loose your first time being intimate over simply the urge to experience new and slightly taboo things. The waiting game sucks, but I do think that it comes in handy for giving us time to reflect on what we really want and how we want to experience these things. I also think the trick to the waiting game is that once you've done enough internal evaluation on what you want, you have an easier time of going after it and getting it.
And remember, even though you're beautiful, you shouldn't use it as solely a tool to achieve your means. Sometimes, you just have to accept and ignore things like that to get what you want.
So good luck in your future endeavors and above all else, be safe!2