Why don't men in their 30's seem interested in dating?

I'm a woman in my 30's and men use to approach me all of the time. I get that I was younger and many of them got married. There are still plenty of single men in their 30's left. If I see them approach anyone usually it's the early 20 somethings and just for sex. I imagine there are good 30 something men out there looking for relationships but I can't find them. What happened to people wanting to find a partner and get married?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There's still plenty of them out there but they are probably mostly single. Plus a lot of men are gonna be on the lookout for women who have a "biological clock" that is ticking. Trust me, I have talked to women in their 30's and before I even meet them they're already talking to me about how they want to find someone to move in with(and this is the 2nd phone call!) and it is very scary.

    When I was in my early 20's I tried my hardest to find a good girl to date and girls would date me but they'd either be uninterested, or someone who was interested but I'd have to be crazy to date due to their lifestyles and what they'd do and who they would associate with. Now that I turned 29, I completely lost interest. The women I meet want something so specific and not only do they want something so specific, they want it NOW! Last girlfriend I had called it a relationship on the very first date and immediately wanted online dating profiles taken down and all that right away and would get mad if I suggested merely hiding them first when I wanted to take things slowly.

    Other girls I see have such specific criteria that it's actually them who is picky. Girls I see profiles of will not date guys without a high end college degree, a high end career, a house, and so on. But if you were to ask these picky women what they had to contribute, it's all a bunch of tap dancing. If I as a man don't want to date a woman who lives with her parents, I would be considered a horrible picky guy who doesn't give girls a chance. But the other way around is commonly accepted nowadays. Plus many guys are seeing how marriages are nowadays and protecting themselves. Women are walking away with guys' assets constantly.

    So what happened to guys wanting a partner and to get married? Well go make a dating profile and watch how many messages you get. You'll get hook up requests of course, but plenty of well written messages and you'll probably turn them down because of your preferences. They won't be "good enough." So I don't see it as men being picky.

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    • I completely agree that some women are completely ridiculous. A lot of people in general are. My thinking is more along the line of wandering what happened to dating and what do you when it seems like everyone else doesn't want to date? You're a great example of what I'm talking about though. Being 29, you should have lots of women interested and there should be some good ones in that group. Thanks for answering.

    • You're welcome.

      I would like to think a lot of women would be interested in me but the ones I do meet up with typically don't want a second date or I don't want a second date. I mainly meet girls from online due to my schedule and I met two at different times the other night and one was purposefully misleading me with her photos(she was pretty overweight and deliberately took photos making her look thinner) and the other one later that night I met instantly told me she was looking to move.

What Guys Said 6

  • Hard to say. I for one still have interest in such a thing. As for others, it may just be a matter of wanting just as you said, nothing to tie them down, just a fling, something fun with someone. As far as it being so young, some men have a tendency of seeing them as "easier", or simply they are just available and want the same thing. Someone older, cause as guys we tend to remain immature in our 20s, and the younger women sometimes don't want that. It's a hard answer, the reasons could go on and on as to why it seems that way.

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  • I'm not really sure but I used to approach women when younger but that was mainly based on looks. Now I want to find someone based more on their personality. Yeah a lot of those guys are probably married now and they are able to control sexual urges better so there's less incentive to chase women. No but I really don't know.

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  • Most girls (27) get married earlier in life then most guys (30), so the available pool of women left around 30 is meager and usually filled with undesirables. There are plenty of undesirable younger women as well, they just haven't suckered some fool into putting a ring on their finger yet... A guy is more likely to find an available women that is desirable if he looks at a larger younger pool of women, then a small picked over pool of older women, who may already have a first marriage and divorce under their belt and maybe even a few kids... Obviously the smart man is going to look for better options.

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  • Men in our 30's aren't looking for relationships. We'd be open to marriage if the right girl comes along, but we see what our married friends have to put up with, and it's not something that we'd want to go through unless it was somebody really really damn special.

    Don't blame the guys. It's just that marriage has warped into something that's really unappealing to men who don't have difficulty getting laid.

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  • I'm one of them.

    Unfortunately, it seems that the women I come across who are free and without kids at 30 something are completely insane.

    I'm starting to wonder if it's not too late to find someone to settle down, past 30, because people are just used up by life.

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    • I've often wonder if over 30's have had such horrible experiences that we don't try to approach anyone anymore.

    • Well over the course of 2013, I dated 3 women. One made me a hystery crisis out of nowhere, the next one was having sex with another guy at the same time without telling me, and the last one I just broke up with seemed to be perfect but couldn't let go of her past, and it killed the relationship. I'm not even furious, but sad at a very high level. I don't want to get married/have kids when 45, so it depresses me and I am not sure I'm going to try again anytime soon.

  • *Raises hand* there's one here.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Because they have become set in there ways. They become picky and have set standards, and they pass by love and affection for there stubborn idiotic ideals of a perfect mate that does not even exists.

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    • Absolutely wrong. I know people my age have bagage, and that it has to be accepted as part of the package. But there are limits. I am ready to settle down, but not desperate to accept anyone.

    • Absolutely wrong, am I really? If I am, then kudos to you, and I hope you find someone, but not just anyone.

    • Isn't that your you women so call do with males claiming you know the perfect mate when you are far from that and go through several relationships failing which hurts you in the process? At least those men have a clue what is real love than you.

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