You know the type - overachiever, has his priorities straight, gets all his stuff done the way he likes it and maybe crams you in his schedule when it's convenient. I'm would rather devote myself entirely to my SO and take every measure necessary to make things work.
This always lets me down. I'm too much of a giver. Should I start filling my life to the max with occupations and eventually make a guy fit somewhere, is it healthier? I feel like no one's looking for companionship towards marriage anymore, every wants a life of his/her own and a casual part-time lover. :(
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I also tend to give way too much, every time again. I try to go the extra mile. It is sometimes appreciated, sometimes not. I think it's just about running into the right person who's just like you and you're in balance.
Eventually you will have to choose a person over other things you used to prioritize, but a lot of people have difficulties letting that go. It's partly selfish, but also the fact that people are not rational. They think they'll manage just fine and that the other person will also be fine with that. If you have two people doing just that, it won't work for much time.
I don't think you should change and become more selfish in order to fit better with someone else. Just be yourself, the way you are naturally, you're not the only one who's like that. I for example refuse to change and sure people will take advantage of me sometimes, but it's going to be only once and then I cut them loose.
And is it healthier to be more selfish? I believe being a loving person is healthier, mentally it's also better. The society is indeed changing, and it's becoming more individualistic every day. This is truly a bad thing since people are beings that need to socialize, not on the internet but in person. We are that kind of animal. But instead it seems like everyone is in his own cubicle, doing what he wants, when he wants, and doesn't really mind others. I don't know about the marriage thing, but it wouldn't surprise me if that were to deteriorate.1