How do I get the ball back into my court with a girl I dated?

About two months ago a girl and I was dating ended things because she was having a difficult time coming to grips with some things from her divorce that was more than a year ago. I can honestly say that I did nothing wrong. She told me that I was a good guy and when I asked her what I needed to do in a future relationship to make myself better she said that I didn't need to change anything and that I'm great the way I am. Her only complaint is that when she stepped back from the relationship I didn't just let her go and tried to initiate contact 5 or 6 times, one of which was a FB message where I basically told her I thought it was worth trying again. She responded negatively, and I let it go for about two and a half weeks until Christmas Day where I sent her a text wishing her the best on the day. She never responded. Two days later I went back on a dating site where I met her and saw that her profile was back online for the first time in months. This brought back a ton of emotions because it felt like she wasn't being truthful with the way things ended, specifically because she told me that we could maybe try again when she originally ended things. When I saw the profile, I had an emotional knee jerk and called her up but she didn't answer. I sent a text asking if we could talk and she responded that she was busy tonight. The next day I hit her up asking if she was available to talk then, and this time I got no reply. About four hours later I followed up with a message saying if you aren't comfortable talking on the phone maybe we could talk via text or FB Messenger. Immediately after that message she went online and deleted me from FB, after the day before I had my first response in weeks. When I saw this I called her out about her bs, telling her that I guess what she fed me was a line of crap and that if she had no intention of starting over again she should have told me from the beginning. She eventually replied telling me that she is still trying to figure things out in her life, and that she is still working on a lot of things but ignored the whole fact that she is on the dating site again. We actually had a conversation for about an hour and a half on text and I told her why I was so confused and what she did that hurt me. When we ended the conversation we left it on good terms again, with both of us wishing each other the absolute best and telling each other that we will always be there for the other person. I asked her if we could maybe continue the conversation after New Years and she responded that if she wants to talk she will get a hold of me. I obviously like this girl. If I want to get the ball back in my court what do I do? I want to give this another chance. I have thought about calling her out and telling her that it's not OK to leave things completely in her court with the contact, but I don't know if that's a good idea. Would this be a bad idea or would it show that I'm strong willed and not one to be walked on?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Oh man! She is screaming messages at you to leave her alone. Her only complaint was that you didn't back off when she asked, disrespected her decision by contacting her again not once but five or six times? You've since continually contacted her and she's refused multiple times which you have ignored. The ball has gone into the neighbours yard and the dog has eaten it. You blew it when you didn't back off initially and kept contacting her, while she's sitting there yelling "why isn't he listening?" All of this repeated unwanted contact means you haven't changed. She could have contacted you and she didn't, you can't harass a person into seeing you, it's over. Sorry man but no means no, however you sugar coat it

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What Girls Said 4

  • She might have someone els in her life at the moment or she doesn't find you sexualy attractive it would be best to move on.

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  • Go the old fashioned route on this one. Bring her roses.

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  • Stop playing games! You and her

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  • I would just move on. If she liked you...she would be around you. You would know

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What Guys Said 0

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