Is it mean to keep seeing the guy?

My friend and I fell asleep to a movie, like many times before, but this time, during the night he kissed me. I kissed him back, because I wanted to. But the next day, while I was thinking about what happend, thinking about how I felt, I came to the conclusion that I don't wanna be more than friends. So I told him this when he asked to hang out again. I wanted to be honest with him, he deserves that. But then a few days later we were four friends that hanged out, played some games, grabbed a few beers (not getting drunk or anything), watched some movies, and him and I fell asleep next to each other again, and we kissed again! I don't know what's going on, but I really wanted to kiss him! We kissed so passionately and layed in each others' arms. I just still don't see him as boyfriends potential. Just being honest here. I see him as a guy I'd like to be with for now, go out, make out, we always laugh together. But I don't want to commit to him in the long run. Don't wanna make it official, or meeting each others' friends or family, and holding hands in public and being all lovey dovey. Don't get me wrong, I would want that one day, I have had that before. But not with this guy.. I feel like I'm being so mean right now, however I did tell him how I felt after our first kiss. Should I tell him again, that I still feel the same way, and that I just want to be straight with him from the beginning? Who knows, maybe I'll fall for him in the future, especially if keep up what we've been doing so far, but right now I don't see it happendning, and I don't even think I'll let myself make it happend, but I know it could happend...

Is it mean of me to keep kissing him, when I have these thoughts? Even though I want to - but is it selfish? I'm mostly worried about hurting him.

I feel like I'm that girl Summer, from that movie 500 days of summer.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you know where you are comfortable right now. Lots of people don't like to have a label on something or feel tied down. Let him know that you enjoy what you have been doing, you like kissing him, but you don't want to be serious with him. He probably feels similarly. Enjoying your company and kissing at times. He may not be looking for a true girlfriend either, just someone to spend time with.

    As long as you are honest and open with your feelings it will not blow up in any big way.

    Lastly though, if he is looking for something more, you can't get upset if he starts hanging out with other girls too. He is comfortable with you but is seeing if there is anything more and while there is no serious relationship, he (just like you) should be able to play the field as long as its open.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Tell him exactly what you have said here! If he is decent he will understand and back off giving you time to decide what you really want!

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What Girls Said 1

  • If you don't want to hurt him, stop kissing him and leading him on. That is literally one of the worst things you could possibly do. If you don't want a relationship with him then stop with the leading on and let him move on.

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    • But what if he is okay with keeping it casual?

    • ok well that is a different story, I think you guys need to talk about and see what you both want. before jumping into anything, but if you're both okay with keeping it casual then I guess I don't see an issue

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