If you smoked marijuana daily and started texting a girl and she told you to stop or she wouldn't talk to you?

Would you quit or tell her goodbye?

Just curious.

If you're not a marijuna user whatever your vice is, that. Be it alcohol or cigarettes.

Updates:
Can't reward a best answer as it's opinion based question. But basically I gave a guy this ultimatum when he first started texting me after getting my number and didn't think much of it and he actually said he'd quit and hasn't touched it since. Thought it was weird and your answers just confirm it. Thanks!

& if anyone cares we've been dating happily for nearly three years

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've never smoked pot or cigarettes and I never will, not have I ever really drunk alcohol, but any girl who has the audacity to give me an ultimate is banished.

    Ultimatums never work. They invoke the psychological principle of reactance, which, more or less, states that, whenever a person feels that his or her freedom is being restricted or his or her choices are being limited, he or she will almost always move toward that which is being restricted or limited. In other words, ultimatums actually cause what you are trying to prevent.

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    • Interesting. I'm asking because I gave my boyfriend an ultimatum two and a half years ago and he chose me. I figured it was uncommon for him to chose me literally the first day we started talking and was curious. Were still dating and happy as can be, without marijuana. He was a massive stoner too. No idea why he chose me, I didn't even expect him to honestly.

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    • Although it's highly improbable that he quit for you, it isn't impossible; so I'll refrain from insisting that he's lying, but it's the most probable. The reasons for which you believe that he quit are, at best, weak rationalizations. Of course he could hide it or only smoke with his friends or any number of things. I've had a lot of friends (and girlfriends for that matter) do the same thing, and you'd be surprised how long they got away with it. But trust him until you've got reason not to.

    • Yeah that's what I'm doing. He doesn't hang out with his friends who smoke anymore anyways.

What Guys Said 12

  • I smoke and if I'm gonna stop it'll be because I want to do it for myself, not because some stuck up bitch told me to.

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    • You're assuming a lot of things! If she casually says that she won't date someone who smokes or gives you an ultimate how is that stuck up or bitchy? No harm in saying bye before it gets serious and causes problems.

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    • Well I don't think anyone would word it like that!

    • doesn't matter. The sentiment is still the same

  • My vice is gaming, I'd compromise in some things but nothing I do everyday at least not for someone I've just started seeing.

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    • Gaming isn't a drug though. It's a tad different. :p

    • It's addictive though :P It is slightly different, but I can't say drinking, smoking or drugs since I don't do any of that.

    • Yeah my boyfriend games a ton hahaha it's not comparable to drugs though! Thank god!

  • i wouldn't be interested in a girl who gave me an ultimatum unless I was absolutely in love with her

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  • I guess I'll be be blowing her and the smoke in the wind. JK. I guess it would depend on how much I valued being with the person giving me the choice and if she knew I smoked before she gave me the ultimatum.

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  • would not change for the person. Unless they made my sun rise and my heart stop. then, maybe

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  • I will quit talking to her.

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  • bye

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  • I'd tell her goodbye.

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  • Mary Jane > girls who want to restrict my happiness.

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  • Anyone who does this = bad news.

    Attempts to be manipulated from the very start is never a good sign.

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  • im going drinking and driving good bye.

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  • I would tell her goodbye. I am not going to change who I am just because someone else has a problem with it.. Let alone some girl that I have only been texting. She would rank so far down on my list of priorities that she wouldn't have any influence on my decision.

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What Girls Said 6

  • As someone who smokes when I have weed (and used to smoke on a daily basis), I would say I would not stop smoking it if some guy I had just started this type of relationship with told me to stop. If, however, we were in this deeply committed relationship and loved each other, then I'd be more willing to make the sacrifice--though I'd definitely try to let him see how marijuana isn't that bad or harmful.

    I used to be addicted to this one drug that my (ex)boyfriend asked me to stop or else he'd break up with me--totally not for selfish reasons; he was trying to help me because I really couldn't stop. So I did promise to stop (he broke off the deal a few hours later, though, saying it was my decision and he didn't wanna risk anything).

    So basically, it depends on how far the relationship has gone. Just starting out, when the person doesn't know me well enough and how much a certain vice affects me, I wouldn't be willing to stop. But if they genuinely see it as a problem after getting to know me much more, then I'd be more willing.

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  • I drink, smoke and have dated guys with a daily marijuana habit. I'd never ask them to stop. That's who they were before I knew them.

    If someone told me it was them or my wine/smokes I'd walk away without a second thought. I've plenty of guys to choose from so why waste my time on someone who's so flippant about being with me.

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  • Haha... wow that's controlling. My boyfriend dated a girl who denied sex with him if he smoked. Pot isn't bad enough to discontinue talking to someone for deny them sex for fucks sake.

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  • If you are talking about a stoner, from most that I know I guess it would depend on how strong that relationship was but for the most part, the guys I know that were stoners, I would say would lie and say they stopped or leave you. With most alcoholics or addicts of any sorts that can be a tricky line to try to cross.

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  • Most guys wouldn't. A nagging girlfriend who all of a sudden wants to change who you are is the worst and those are the girls who typically end up unhappy cause they try to change every guy they're with

    I will say this, I wouldn't compare marijuana with drinking of alcohol. I think if you talk to any cigarette smoker they'll tell you it is extremely difficult to quit. And they often develop other addictions to replace the smoking, like overeating so that they can keep their mouths occupied.

    Alcohol--if we're talking alcoholism--is an addiction. Again, different. A lot of alcoholics will choose alcohol before their careers, children, wives/husbands, friends and family. If you just mean a casual drinker then it's a matter of wanting to no longer socially drink.

    Marijuana users can typically just quit, but it's a matter of wanting to quit.

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    • To some extent. It's not physically addictive but it's most certainly mentally addictive. No one hates being high.

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    • True but if you've ever smoked it you'd know it would be an easy thing to get addicted to

    • I have smoked and it's not easy to become addicted, sorry. It takes an addictive personality to become psychologically addicted. The average marijuana user isn't addicted to it in any way, shape or form.

      I get that you're against marijuana use but it doesn't change the reality of it.

  • Lol she is a control freak. If she doesn't approve of his habit then why even bother in starting a relationship. You can't expect to change people's behavior, specially for some random chic. So I'll say goodbye.

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    • We see who wears the pants now...

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    • No, I didn't. I meant I told him about my ex and said that during like the second conversation we had.

    • Whatever you say princess

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