Is he mad? and if so why is he mad and what can I do about it?

A friend of mine texted me 3 days ago asking if I was going to be showing up at 6:30pm that night, and I replied saying that I think it's better if I don't hang around him for a while. He gets upset I think and replies with, "Ok whatever. I don't know what I've done." I was a little shocked and dismayed and so I replied back if that he wants to talk I'm always available. He didn't say anything in return.

Later that night I showed up only to help a mutual friend of ours, Alan, with some stuff and my male friend didn't say anything but he had left that night before I did and as he was leaving he passed by and said "Bye you guys." to both me and Alan. The next day I text him asking if he had time that day to talk about it, and he replied with "I have no free time tonight. Sorry."

So I asked him if he had any other day available and he replies with "I have no time this week. Sorry" I had then asked him to let me know when he did and he said "Okay." Ever since then he was supposed to show up in the evenings but he has been flaky and he has never really skipped out on anything unless it was an emergency.

I was on facebook last night and he hopped on it for a few minutes but he didn't IM me or even leave a comment. I'm saddened and I don't know what to do, but now he's mad and he doesn't even know why I had canceled on him for a while...but I'm assuming he thinks I did it cause he thinks I think he did something to p*ss me off.

So what do I do?!


Most Helpful Girl

  • what's with all the nonsense? I don't get why you canceled on him like that in the first place :( and it wasn't just for the night, you said for a while. he's probably mad because he doesn't know what the hell happened. to be honest, I'd ignore you too. I don't chase people for answers. that feels like a really big cold shoulder for no apparent reason, so I would just deem you an asshole and say that I'm too busy for you, just like you're too busy for me.

    i definitely understand this guy.

    you can do one of two things here (or both): end the texting b.s. stop asking if he's available because you know he is and he's just ignoring you: call the man up. you will probably get no reply, but you can leave v-mail saying that you didn't mean to come off that way and you'd like to explain yourself if he's willing to speak to you.

    give it three days, if nothing , you can do this:

    email or private message him on facebook; explain yourself clearly. don't say 'oh, call me!' 'cause he'll blow you off immediately. use this message as your way of talking. tell him everything you need to say, apologize profusely, and make sure he knows that it was all YOU and not HIM. don't start ranting about how you're upset that he won't talk to you because he's right for ignoring you, just tell him that you're really sorry and you'd really like to talk to him if he'll give you the chance.

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      If you read my other comments to other posters in this question...u'll see why I said I didn't wanna hang with him for a while. I didn't keep on texting him I only did it a few times...the last one was 2-3 days ago. He didn't even give me a chance to tell him why I said it....besides he's the one that texted me first. I don't like texting really.

      And as far as calling him or facebooking him I feel like I'm bugging him that's why I've been giving him space the past 2-3 days.

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      I read what you said. it doesn't make sense to to say 'i don't want to hang out for a while' when you really want to say is 'why have you been so distant?' he probably hasn't even realized that he's been distant (hence the fact that he wanted to hang out with you like nothing was wrong'. you should've said hey, can we talk? you can still do that if you message him. if you want to wait another week or something before you do, that's fine. don't just sit it out tho. you may lose a good friend

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      I did wanna take a few days away from him...i just needed the space to gather my thoughts. I mean I ultimately wanted to talk to him about it and THEN take time off away from him. And I can't see how he doesn't realize he's been distant. We don't talk as much, and he talks to everyoen else at gatherings. Surely he realizes that. I mean its noticeable. Its like even when we're alone he doesn't ask me anything anymore. Not like he used to. I might run into him today we'll see how he is.