Calling, texting or emailing a man

I have been reading about relationships. Some people think women are better off not calling a man, even if they are really interested in him. Apparently, men prefer making this move and have the space to "figure things out".

So, If I call/email/text a man that I have been involved with casually, am I at risk of losing his interest if we are not serious?

What about calling if we are already serious? should I just wait for him to call? what happens if I don't? I often get scared he is going to think I am not interested if I don't call him.

Any thoughts?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • let him do most of the intiation then once in a while make the effort x

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What Guys Said 4

  • These books are about the past. In current times, guys want women who don't play the princess, who will meet us halfway. So go ahead and contact him if you're interested. Most of us guys nowadays admire women who go after what they want. Really.

    And a lot of guys WILL think you're not interested if you don't occasionally take the initiative!

    But don't inundate him with messsages. Be casual and use a light touch, just as he ought to do.

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  • That men prefer being the ones to initiate is a stereotype, and a fairly inaccurate one at that. The question you should ask yourself is whether you want to flirt, or whether you're serious about your feelings. If it's the latter, then there's no point in playing such games. If a guy needs you to get him to chase you in order for him to be interested in you, he's not going to be serious about his feelings for you, and you'll never get what you want.

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  • Casually, not really. As long as you don't appear to be needy, that's nothing to worry about losing his interest. You should rather mind that if you don't do anything (eg not contact him), he'd pretty much forget about you and assume it was just a one-off event.

    If both of you are serious, you should be over this stage by now. Both of you should be comfortable talking to each other, and there shouldn't be any games, just honesty. Otherwise, the relationship is not as 'serious' as you think it is, or one of you is not really in love with the other.

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    • Sorry I disagreed by mistake; you are right on. My only question to you is: how do I avoid to appear needy? Or what does needy look like?

    • Needy is having your life revolve around him, instead if having your own interests and passions too. Needy is trying to rush the relationship too fast before the other person has gotten to know you better. Needy is realizing you are unhealthily obsessing about him more than you know he is about you.

  • just talk to him first. He won't know you like him or such so he might not contact you before

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What Girls Said 1

  • Guys will say they don't mind a woman calling, texting, and hey, a little of it is FINE. However, I noticed that with the last guy I was involved with, it turned into him expecting ME to do all of the work in contacting him and he became very spoiled by it, so I was left feeling he wasn't interested enough really to pursue me anymore. To avoid that, just keep it balanced with both of you equally staying in touch.

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