Did I mess up by telling guy that I like him rather than just kissing him or initiating a hook-up?

I finally mustered up the courage today to let the guy know that I like him.

He had told me that he liked me in September which I said I wasn't ready for, and we remained just friends, hanging out & texting a lot till now. I had many opportunities to kiss him or even do more, but I just didn't want to put him in a position where he might think I'm leading on considering what I had said to his own advances.

Did I freak him out or in any way mess up by just telling him how I felt first?

Updates:
ok I did 'confront' him and told him I felt. He said we should meet today and continue the discussion that I started by telling him, and we met and he didn't mention the idea of a potential relationship at all, leaving me completely confused as well as quite irritated.


Any idea as to why he invited me out to discuss my feelings, then when we met he didn't bring that up at all?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nah, I think it's the safer option... There's more thought put into words sometimes, I mean you can kiss someone 'in the moment' and not really feel that way so that would be closer to feeling lead on than just being told.

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    • He said I caught him off guard.I could see he was kind of nervous and getting fidgety so I said I'd just leave it at that.I told him I just wanted to let him know how I felt&he could do as he pleases, at which he asked if I wanted a relationship as school is a high priority for him this semester&I'd have to understand he wouldn't have a large amount of spare time.I said I understand&he drove me home, after which he called me,said he didn't feel we finished properly&we could discuss more @coffee?

    • I don't think that's a mess up at all, even if it was you're still going to talk about a potential relationship or working one out... I think that's pretty successful. I mean, it's definitely not a no, or hell no.

What Guys Said 4

  • If he is open to discussing it that must mean you didn't scare him off like you though and most people would be a tad caught off guard if a gal all of a sudden kissed them. I would accept his offer to discus it over coffee and see were it goes it seems your both open to the possibility of a relationship and not closed off to the idea of it so talk with him figure things out.

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  • lol. So that's what happened! I would have kissed him but that's OK. What was his reaction? He may just be a little bit in shock and needs time to think it over.

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    • lol yeeeea I should have kissed him at the many opportunities I had when we went away together & such but I didn't want to push him into it as since he had already told me he liked me and I pretty much turned him down, I thought it would be best to wait and just tell him first.

      As to what happened after I told him, he looked very shocked and told me he was surprised and didn't' see it coming.

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    • hopefully! what makes you say that he's taking it seriously & wants to give it a shot though?

    • cause instead of leaving you hanging, he called you later after he left to let you know he still wanted to talk about things. If he didn't care then he wouldn't have done that.

  • No, this is a free country you can tell him almost anything, except that your going to kill him. I don't think you did anything wrong.that's just the risk of saying something like that you have to be open to what he says.. Any you girls are pretty good at seeing through our BS, trust it.

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  • You probably confused the hell out of him. At first he probably thought he was getting over you and everything was well but then you tell him when he was probably trying to move on. This I'd my perspective and this is what I would think in this scenario

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    • OK but how would he think hanging out all the time, going for coffee & sushi just us two, and even sharing a room on a weekend out of town qualify as trying to move on? If he wanted to move on from the start I would've been cool with that but wouldn't he completely disconnect from me if that were the case?

    • Well no. And my idea was just from what you wrote before. That changes everything and now I really don't know. Why don't you just confront him if you two are that close?

    • ok I did 'confront' him and told him I felt. He said we should meet today and continue the discussion that I started by telling him, and we met and he didn't mention the idea of a potential relationship at all, leaving me completely confused as well as quite irritated.

What Girls Said 1

  • Not necessarily, I mean he even told you first without trying to pull anything like that on you (right?) so I guess you're just doing the same in an honest way. Just keep an eye on the way he treats you while he digests that. If things go well by all means go for it when the moment feels right, but if he seems confused or unsure let him think things through.

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