Why am I so undesirable?

I'm 23 and never even kissed. I've tried believe me (online dating, bars, clubs) ...online dating was the worst got the worst rejections after dates and even before I met them, after I lowered my standards. And all I get hit on by is a bunch of creeps, seriously.

One guy I was grinding up with at a club was simultaneously feeling up/touching a girl standing beside him at the bar. I found this out because she told me this was happening and if I knew him etc. I would have gotten my first kiss over with him that night and everything but after finding out he was groping another girl while grinding with me I ditched him.

Then I get hit on my drunk guys on the bus ride home. I've had one come sit beside me and then keep asking for my name, saying the same things over again. Give me his number. When I lowered my standards and decided to message him he decided he didn't want to meet up with me because he would have to drive 30 min. and I would have to come to his area, also asked me for pics as the night he hit on me I was wearing glasses...I'm surprised he even remembered.

I don't get why I only get these creeps and that started recently, I usually never got any attention from guys.

I think I'm actually a 7 out of 10. Guys online have said 8/10 and stuff but its probably because I'm photogenic. I have nice long black hair, I'm a decent height and just a little overweight but I workout. I've graduated from college and all that. I have my head on right but I can't get a guy to desire me, not a proper one anyways. I don't want to just go to a club and have sex with a guy I just met let alone not even attracted to!

UGH I don't know, what other reasons could desirable guys be put off by me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree with romantic peanut, especially in terms of finding a great guy in a bar... Don't assume that you're undesirable based on past experiences, and especially don't assume that the guys you have dated aren't also creeps. Dating is about keeping on trying until it works, it sucks at times... I've been on countless dates, I've been on good and bad dates, I've dated some great girls, but also lost them... it is tough, but I can't give up on dating just because of what has happened in the past. I mean if after my first bad break up I'd became shy about dating I'd not have met other people.

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    • Well the only dates aside from one (which was a blind date) that I've gone on were all from online. But I do get what your saying, dating has ups and downs, however I've never had an up ever, just ALL downs lol.

      I guess I'll keep on trying, just hurts my ego every time I build it back up and then some guy who is super nice and caring (or so it seems) before we meet up, is a complete jerk after. Its crazy, almost like 2 different people. I guess I'll suck it up, I do deserve someone I want

    • And also wants me.

What Guys Said 3

  • Pic required to know how much of your problem is self image.

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  • pics

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  • I doubt your that undesirable but standard advice follows. Be good relationship material, find a "nice guy" and teach him that you don't actually require worship.

    Pro-tip: You're unlikely to find a great man in a bar.

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What Girls Said 3

  • You are not undesirable. Your problem is that you are desirable sexually but you want to be desirable in the real way. You want a great descent guy to love you for you. To manage that, you have to learn to start liking yourself for who you are. Once you can do that you will be able to appreciate the guys for who they are. You haven't missed on much if you haven't kissed or had sex. The important thing is that once you do do those things, you will be certain and horny out of your mind that you genuinely want to do these things and that you will enjoy them. Also, bars and parties are not the best scenarios for the type of guy you want to catch.

    Take care and never ever stop believing in yourself. Don't give up.

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  • I'm a straight female so I'm obviously not the answer you're looking for but I just want to say that no matter what you have to discover your own beauty from inside and out. I think you're dwelling too hard on the fact that you're 23 and the fact that you haven't been kissed those are just facts about your life that are irrelevant. I think you mentioned you "lowered your standards" first of all, don't do that because that's exactly why you're finding these assholes, secondly, a first kiss is SOOO overrated I'd say go on a date and if he's not a TOTAL jerk just do it, you can't regret it if you want it get it. Once you show you're more confident those assholes you keep finding will do you job for you and not even bother with you because they know they aren't worth. Just keep doing what you're doing and keep up your confidence and everything will happen to your benefit!

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  • Do you live in a small city? That could be the reason why you keep meeting crappy guys.

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