I miss him even though I shouldn't? help

I miss him so much we dated for 6 months after 2 Weeks since we started dating he asked another girl out, he basically got caught. They didn't do anything because the girl said no she's like 9 years older than him, but she's really pretty. She also said you'll find a girl one day & he replied no I've been cheated on,dumped on. While I was nothing,but nice to him. I was crushed. He apoligized I went back to him, started being very nice to him, but I could never get what he did to me out of my head. Now I broke up with him two weeks ago for no reason because the thought of him cheating was making me really paranoid, there was no trust. Why do I miss him? I wasn't happy. I cry at school in the bathroom during break because the memories always come back & I feel so stupid. Also, I helped him so much emotionally & a bit financially. Does anybody have any advice on this, have you been through something similar? Is this normal?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well to me 2 weeks after dating I'm not normally granting exclusiveness. So I don't know what your relationship was at that stage, but for me that's not cheating - unless you had a talk first or already called each other boyfriend and girlfriend.

    You had a talk and you forgave him, well you did not forgive him - that's why you broke up. So I take it that you did not trust each other enough, which is definitely needed to maintain a good relationship.

    Yes it's natural that you a grieving, you can find some information on the process on the internet, just search for "5 stages break up grieving". Some experience it stronger than others. I know sometimes it's hard to believe, but you will be fine again - maybe even a bit better, since you will have gained experience.

    • Thankyou so much for this but we were friendsv for 2 months before we started officially dating & wow I finally understand what I'm going through again thank you


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What Guys Said 1

  • Of course it's normal. You've basically invested quite a lot in him (more so financially). If you think you miss him.. well, it's in your head. You're just not used to not being with him. Just like any break up it will heal with time and be replaced by new memories.


What Girls Said 2

  • It's hard to trust any man who has cheated on you, and it takes a long time to gain back that trust once it has been crushed. Yes, it is "normal" to feel like this, even obsess over it---but to a point. Everyone deserves a second chance, and you can either give him that opportunity once again to prove himself, or do what you did two weeks ago because of your paranoia and incessant thoughts of him on what he did to you---and may do again. It drove you crazy enough to break it off, and now you are even more miserable than before, missing him and feeling "stupid", as you put it. My advice to you, sweetie, is dry your eyes, give this man you are missing and unhappy with OR without, a call, and talk things out. Snatch him up again and start over with a fresh new relationship, or lose him again to another girl...You still have the chance to make future good memories, so learn to forget the past, and ANY bad ones. Call him.

  • If there is no trust, there can be no relationship. You need to do what is right for you, and if you feel paranoid and, like you said, unhappy, then this is not right for you. I know it's hard, but if you envision yourself with some one who makes you happy and who you trust it will get easier and easier to get past this guy. However, you could also talk to him seriously about your lack of trust and see if he is willing to do anything to help regain your trust. If he's not then he is obviously no good for you.