If you aren't dating to marry then why do you date?

"Dating is an excuse to have sex if you don't plan on getting married until you reach your thirties." Someone said this to me when I was 16. I fought with the idea for awhile and I have grown to accept the truth in it. Would you agree? If not why?

  • Dating = excuse to screw
    37% (15)29% (10)33% (25)Vote
  • That statement isn't true
    63% (26)71% (25)67% (51)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
It isn't fair too assume that everyone is sleeping with every single person they date. So I could understand how people disagree.

1|2
19|20

Most Helpful Guy

  • Marriage was supposed to be a vow between a man and a woman to roll through life sharing in each other and with each other lives triumphs, hardships and all that journey entails till death and that was that. But vows are no longer what they used to be much like a mans word... Where is the bond? So dating, promiscuous sex, illegitimate children, and deadbeat parents happened, leaving a generation at wonder and wondering what the f*** happened?.

    1|1
    0|1

What Guys Said 19

  • Even in the old days, the way to get to know someone better, to include them in your set of special friends/family was to get them alone ... on a "date" or for the weekend, etc. so that the slow passage of time will allow interesting characteristics to emerge ... bonding, if you will.

    Of course, this and other social graces, even Match.com (ugh) can be - in devil hands - be employed for baser goals OR one might just fall into "sex", so attractive one becomes during these outings. Everyone has a point of view, goals, etc.

    It takes two to tango, so you can choose how you participate. Some dates may be dead ends, others show promise. Just work on your goals, be happy.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Intimate relationships are important because they are the best when it comes to helping you grow as a person. Relationships can help shape our identities,identities, resources, and perspectives.

    The self expansion model says that . that it is very important for people's sense of self to expand and grow throughout their lives for them to feel satisfied with their lives

    0|0
    1|0
  • I plan on staying with my girlfriend forever, but I won't be marrying her. I think that marriage is a joke nowadays, it means nothing. People get married and divorced so easily, and then you have the corrupt divorce courts... So no, I don't believe that statement is true, anybody who believes that they HAVE to get married is nothing but a sheep.

    I do think that some people use it as an excuse to screw. I've never dated anybody exclusively unless I thought it could last, as I don't see the point otherwise. I don't understamd people who do the whole "short-term" dating thing.

    1|1
    3|0
  • Some are doing it because it's the only way to get laid but I think most want the intimacy companionship and physical elements of a long term relationship. They just don't require certainty it will last forever.

    The flip side is that I'm not sure now that a log term committed and monogamous relationship that is totally chaste between young people who are really attracted to each other is normal. Either it should be driving them crazy or they're not right for each other.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I voted B.

    One can have sex without any type of dating arrangement whatsoever. :-P

    Also, there are those people who don't believe in the sanctity and institution of marriage and would want to have a partner in their life without the title of "spouse".

    1|0
    1|0
  • Hmm I don't date for sex nor do I date expecting marriage out of it. I guess I date because I like the person and if it someday leads to something more then that's fine and if it doesn't then that's fine too. I don't have any grand expectations out of it. There are a lot of other fish in the sea.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Some people just always need to have someone. For some, if it gets to the point of them wanting marriage they either dump the person and start a new relationship or just keep saying they will marry the person and then never do.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Even though we are not screwing or getting married, we date because we make each other happy and care about each other. Nothing is better then being close to someone who you can share amazing memories with.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Dating is like an emotional and visual acknowledgement that you're together. Still willing to be the person that can do things on their own. Marriage is taking the emotional, visual and adding more to it, physical items and people. Rings, certificates, children, finances and you're apart of that person's family not just frenemies with them. Not to mention the level of trust gets deeper.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Why get married at all? Is that a requirement for a relationship to be serious or something? I don't think so.

    1|1
    3|1
  • i honestly don't agree. maybe if its a serious relationship then yes I could possibly see that statement being true

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's a false dichotomy. Many people don't even know what they want in life.

    0|0
    0|0
  • may be you date to marry and then realize he isn't the one.

    0|0
    0|0
  • to me dating is a way to choose my true partner

    0|0
    0|0
  • Personally I'm not getting married, but swearing off sex is my prerogative. That being said, I don't think you need a "excuse to screw"

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because marriage isn't the end result for a lot of people nowadays. When you get married to someone, what changes within the relationship?

    0|1
    0|0
  • Personally I find all relationships to be terminal it's just a matter of when. I find marriage to be a false sense of security in a relationship and nothing more than a social contract. I never date to marry I date to experience learning and accepting the thoughts and lives of someone other than myself. Marriage is only something I consider to appease someone I really enjoy that may want that feeling of security. I don't think marriage is bad I just think we put a lot of unrealistic weight on what it means mostly due to social pressure. I also fear the emptiness that comes after marriage when people quit trying to get to know each other because they're comfortable. And I probably won't ever marry a girl that doesn't at least slightly understand that. Now don't get me wrong I love sex I find it to be another aspect of learning about a person. Right now I'm loving getting to know my girlfriend even though sex has been completely off the table for now (She had surgery). So no personally I don't think that phrase is true at all but I think a lot of people see dating that way.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Dating can be fun in and of itself, as well as being an excuse to screw.

    Also, dating helps you work on your relationship skills, so that when a girl comes along that you might like to marry, you aren't a terrified insecure ball of virginity who doesn't know how to make a relationship work.

    0|1
    1|0
  • Dating helps us understand relationships, as well as what we want from our own relationships. How are we supposed to get what we want in life unless we can state with clarity and confidence exactly what it is that we want?

    1|0
    1|0

What Girls Said 19

  • no, dating can teach you a lot about yourself. What you like, what you don't like. It's not only about sex .. that is just a benefit.

    5|2
    0|0
  • I voted B. I don't ever want to get married, but that doesn't mean I don't want companionship and a life long partner. I have other friends that also feel marriage in not necessary to maintain a healthy, life long relationship...some of them have been in a relationship now for several years with no intention to "tie the knot". In my experience marriage is a more of a goal for those who want families vs people who just want someone to be happy with.

    Also there is a lot to be gained from dating even if you're not ready to marry. Everyone forms an idea of the kind of person they want to be with, but sometimes once you get it you realize it's not everything you thought it would be. You gain learn what traits are necessities, and what things to look out for when finding a suitable partner. I haven't dated around too much, but I've still learned a lot about what makes me happy, things to avoid, and ways I need to grow to be a better partner for someone else. There's valuable life lessons to be learned for both members.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Not every relationship is about sex. Some of them are profound and about really getting to know a person better, not just their likes and dislikes but everything memories, future goals, life lessons, fears, dreams and so on. But dating has changed a lot over the years, you've got people dating cause the sky is blue or because they don't love themselves enough so they need someone else to love them. Girls become co-dependent on what guys think of them, but that isn't really dating that is just hooking up, That's how I see it anyways

    1|0
    0|0
  • It depends on what you mean.

    If you are dating someone (in a relationship) ABSOLUTELY NOT! Its committing without the ring on your finger.

    If you are dating (going on dates) then yeah it's perfectly fine. Its your decision.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Even if people are having sex with most or all of the people to date that's their prerogative. There's nothing wrong with that if they're being safe

    0|0
    4|0
  • I don't completely agree. I mean yeah,some do date for that reason. But for me,I date for the companionship,for the closeness,someone to share stuff with,spend quality time with.

    And maybe some sex here and there:p. but its not at the top of my list when it comes to dating.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Every time I'm in a relationship I look for long term. So I have no idea why people date if not for that.

    2|1
    0|0
  • I'll only date and enter into a relationship with a guy I can see myself marrying. Obviously at a young age I can't fully make the assessment of whether a man is marriage material but I think some qualities are a giveaway.

    I don't think dating is a chance for sex, but I do think it's a way of learning what you like and what your expectations should be.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No, it's for connecting with people. No one dates for sex, because you can just get a one-night stand in any nightclub. But if you are dating, it means you want a genuine connection with someone. You don't have to marry everyone you date. Maybe you see a future with them, but it doesn't work out for some reason or another. Or maybe you just a good few months/years with them and you want to make it last while you can.

    0|0
    1|0
  • I'm a female, so I may have a different outlook on it than males, but I look at dating as a chance to get to know the opposite sex, have fun, get to know oneself, etc.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Just because you know it might not last forever with someone doesn't mean you don't love them enough to need them NOW. Right? S:

    0|0
    1|0
  • I generally won't date a guy unless I believe he has long term potential

    0|0
    0|0
  • Dating is not all about sex. Dating is basically seeing if you can have a future relationship (marriage) with a person.

    0|0
    1|0
  • umm...some people live their whole live together without ever getting married. And they're happy. Would you call that dating though?

    0|0
    0|0
  • I disagree because there wouldn't be friends with benefits, one night stands, players, and co habitation. You are assuming that everyone dates to have, sex with that qoute. I never had sex with any of my boyfriends. This goes, back to that sense of entitlement issue in both ,genders

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm not having sex with every guy that I date, but I would say that I'm dating for fun and new experiences. I'm not looking for a husband

    0|0
    0|0
  • Guys do because girls require it, and its a way for them to get consistent sex for while until they get bored and move on to the next one, and since its only dating it will be clean and easy to break things off and move on to the next piece of ass. Some girls do it for the same reasons, but usually just do it because that's just how things are done and don't really question it or deviate if they don't think its reasonable.

    I don't date because as I think modern dating is a joke, and I don't recommend it for other marriage minded girls who I care about.

    I have been proposed to 2-3 times already without having to date or have sex with a single guy.

    0|0
    1|0
  • I become friends with a guy and then get in a relationship with him (if I choose). And yes I only date to marry. I have had two relationships on for four years (he passed away) and one for two years(he left me). I truly believe if you don't start out as friends before dating that it won't work. Too many people just jump into a first date. I have done that but I won't ever again. Friendship first!

    0|0
    0|1
    • Sounds good from a female perspective but for a guy the "friends first" approach is WAY too inefficient.

      Guys need to approach dating as a "numbers game"; cultivating "friendship first" simply doesn't produce enough number of girl iterations to find a dating match.

    • Well if we aren't friends first he can forget it. It should be about personality anyways instead of looks

  • I agree, to an extent



    But some people never wanna marry

    1|0
    0|0
Loading...