Would you still go on a date with someone IF...?

a) You are not that attracted to him (ex: suspicious that online date's pictures are overselling his physique) or couldn't imagine yourself having sex with him at some point due to a physical flaw (ex: pot belly).

b) You see a dealbreaker already already (ex: it'd be a LDR, he majors in a degree you look down on, he's a messy guy whereas you're a neat freak, etc.)

c) You have a feeling that he only seeks sex.

Please tell me if you'd agree to a date under each of these circumstances. Also, tell me what determines whether you accept a date or decline it. If you have online dating experience too, please share!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • a: I only meet girls online if they show me their full body(clothed obviously) and not at those stupid angles they take photos from to hide their belly(top down selfies). I have falled for outdated photos before and the girls gets really hurt more than I do when she sees my disinterest.

    b: It depends, I am avoiding druggies like the plague and this seems to narrow down my choices a lot ironically. I never knew so many people were into drugs but it could just be where I am mostly. Drugs are a dealbreaker to me and I am honestly skipping over them.

    c: As a guy, sex is OK with me. I have actually given up pretty much on long term relationships

    I got 2 recent online stories. Both were in the same day.

    This one closely relates to A. Girl mislead me with her photos. She gave me a pretty face shot and when I met her... her face was all fat and everything. She also gave me a body shot in her underwear but it was dark. When she showed up. She was just fat(but told me she was curvy... fat rolls don't mean curvy!). We met at a planet fitness. I walked on the treadmill for like 20mins and she already saw my disinterest so she said I could go.

    Later that night...

    Met a girl for a drink. First thing she's mentioning is that she wants to move and how there's nothing do to here but drink and all that. I buy her a drink. We talk. We leave and I see if she wants to come over but she couldn't. I was the one only interested in sex in this case. She's gonna move anyway so she clearly can't have something long term with me.

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    • Very interesting answer!

      a: Yep, seems legit. Unfortunately lots of guys have pretty face pics and outdated sporty pics showing off their body of when they used to be in shape. Like, I'm still in shape, I look exactly like my pics, why can't it be like that for everyone?

      b: I agree. It's a dealbreaker to me but I've never really dealt with his online, just with a guy from uni I dated before. Didn't work out partially for this reason.

      c: I get it, but I personally haven't given up :/

    • So the issue for me is that I'm dealing with lots of people that have, like you, given up hope for a proper relationship. I know some guys are into this still, but they're so hard to find! So it's tough for me to do the filtering, particularly adding up to the frequent physique mislead and all. As for your last date, anyway you were honest about your motives. I would have gotten the memo clearly and moved on but if the girl's into that, fine, nobody gets hurt.

    • I forget what I exactly said but I let her know I wasn't looking for anything serious and I think that was why she wanted to meet for a drink(since she wanted to move to Florida or somewhere anyway). When I asked if she wanted to come over she actually told me she'd love to but couldn't.

What Guys Said 2

  • The umm "suspicious", "physical flaws" "LDR" "The degree" "Messy" "Only seeks sex"

    How many of your statements are facts and how many are assumptions or thoughts?

    If most of what you said about him is true. Then no stay away.

    If most of what you said about him are assumptions on your part, you have not verified. Then reveal your true colours. I don't think you would have anything to worry about in this case. Because I can't see why he would still want to date you.

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    • I'm not talking about anyone in particuliar. I'm summing up reasons that have in the past made me doubt whether or not I wanted to agree to a date with multiple different people. With some guy, it might have been one thing in that list, some 2, etc. I rarely make false assumptions. If the guy tells me himself he's messy, if I'm in science and the guy studies philosophy, if the guy sexts me a lot and asks for nudes, then YEAH, I am verified.

    • If it's verified then no do not go on a date. There would be too much of a difference in personalities and you would become bored rather quickly and start looking for a way to bail.

  • really? a big belly won't let you have sex with he guy, what kind of psycho are you?

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    • I'm 5'7'' and 125 pounds. I'm in shape, I work out, I expect a guy to be at least a little in shape. Big belly = turn off + has been sitting on his ass for way too long. I could have gained weight and gotten a belly myself while going to school but I made choices not to, so to maintain good health. I'm looking for someone with the same perspective health-wise.

    • ridiculous, it doesn't matter at all

What Girls Said 6

  • I wouldn't go out on a date with a guy under A or C circumstances.

    A - physical attraction matters to me. I would maybe still give this guy a shot if I couldn't really tell how I felt from his pictures online. If it was a guy I met in person already, then likely not. He doesn't have to be what anyone else defines as attractive, but if I don't find him attractive I'll never want more than a friendship with him.

    C - I have a pretty good radar about this type of thing, and I'd rather not waste another night out with a man-child.

    As for B - I would still go out with this guy. I really can't know for sure that any of those things are true, or are deal breakers, until getting to know him better.

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    • Yes. A is tricky business. Like, I'm often stuck with the issue that I really like a guy's face but it seems his fitness level has decreased a lot compared to some pictures. To me, face is way more important than body, but what if in person I realize I'm not attracted? Sometimes attraction builds up when it really clicks with a guy and the chemistry is there, no matter the body, but it's a tough call to make when I've never met the guy. :/

  • A.) Yes.

    B.) Yes

    C.) Yes

    It's just a date. I'm there to have fun. I'm not obligated to kiss or touch this person. I'm just here to give them some company. If the date isn't fun, I'll end it immediately, call a cab and delete the guy's number.

    A.) I've been on dates with guys who weren't my type who ended up being really sweet and we were in a relationship.

    B.) I've dated guys who were messy, I never cleaned up after them, but they'd actually make an effort to clean up when I came by which was nice. LDR's suck but I've been in one. You can actually date by taking your tablet/laptop to the mall or Starbucks and enjoying a coffee together or watching the same movie online together too. You just can't do anything physically, which sucks.

    C.) The guys that only want sex, I've gone on dates with because I just wanted sex too. Which ended up in FWB situations. As long as the sex was great, I'd keep seeing the guy and he was pretty faithful to just having sex with me. If I didn't want to have sex with the guy, I'd still go on a date. No one can force or pressure me into having sex. If they forced me, that'd be rape and I'd press charges instantly. But making them wait for the sex is all the more fun. It's fun to see them squirm lol

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    • The only dealbreakers are people who are addicted to drugs, prostitute/strippers, or have uncurable STD's. However, you can't get an STD from just hugging so as long as we don't exchange body fluids, it's ok

  • a) depends, I might go on a date to see if I like their personality, because most of the time if someone is a good match for you they become more attractive.

    b) no, because we wouldn't get along well and there isn't much to talk about that wouldn't end in argument.

    c) hell no. why would I do that?

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  • a)No

    b)No

    c)No

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  • a) no; if I'm not attracted to him, I won't go on a date with him. Attraction isn't always black and white though…even if I didn't think the guy was "hot" or "very attractive" but could still see some attractive physical qualities, I'd go on a date.

    b) well…none of those things you listed are deal breakers for me. A deal breaker to me would be a major conflict in values, life outlook, etc….that we didn't *click*. In that case, I wouldn't go on a date with him as I wouldn't see a future with him.

    c) I would still go on a date with him in this case; even if I have a feeling he only wants sex, I could be wrong. But I'd be cautious as to how I approached him.

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  • I would agree to C as long as it was a decent date (dinner, something like that) and he paid for everything. in that case, I'm not really losing anything I'm just getting a free date for when I'm bored.

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    • So you use people for your own gain? This definitely some one I'd find not date worthy.

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    • @ironeddie - If she's going out with a guy under the C circumstance, isn't he also using people for his own gain? I don't see why she has to be upstanding, when he is not.

    • Point taken.

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