He said he only wants an open relationship?

This guy I've been dealing with from 6 + months finally told me he wanted to date me last weekend. Wasn't sure if he meant open dating or bf/gf. Anyways after dinner he said he'll hang out again on Monday. I told him I have a night class but we can hang out after so he said sure. Anyways, Monday night I texted him when I got back from my night course and he said he got the flu and he said he feels really crappy and is going to get ready for bed soon, but that tomorrow he can come by if he feels a little better.

Tuesday afternoon, my family contacted me that my grandpa passed away. Only hours later, I get a text from him saying he would have came to visit me today but that he's still really sick and it was -35C in the city with streetcars cancelled. I kind of understood his situation and I don't want to get sick, and then I told him about the news. He basically told me if I need anything to let him know.

I didn't head from him after but decided to text him yesterday, and we hung out today.

I finally asked sraight up what he meant when he said he wanted to date me: open dating or exclusive. Anyways he was like uhh umm I don't know what did you want to it be and I was like oh I just wasn't sure by how you asked if you meant open or exclusive. Then he said "Um I guess open dating for now...like it makes any difference really hahaha" and gave me a hug. gee thanks. And he told me a bit earlier he got a new roommate since he's been searching for one for a while and found a family friend... and it's a girl.

I'm upset that he just wants an open relationship and didn't ask me to be his girlfriend like I thought... What should I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It is what it is. It wasn't like he tried to make it look like he wanted to be exclusive to have sex with you so it isn't like he "did anything wrong." It is what it is. If you still don't mind it the way it is, just enjoy what you got. Many couples have open relationships and it is fine. Only cut it off if you're feelings are too deep to a point where it would hurt to be with him.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Well, you gotta make a call. Accept the deal or decline.

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  • He doesn't want to be tied down. I say this that because I just want to have fun

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What Girls Said 2

  • I must say, sweetie, he IS being "open and honest" and isn't pulling any punches with you. He obviously wants to date YOU and others, not even make you both exclusive or be in any long term relationship. I realize you are hurt and upset, and I am crying for you, because I know how many of today's men are. But like I said, he was honest, and didn't do anything behind your back by even "hiding" the family friend. In this stage of your life, you have the option to either stay---or not play. Give it some thought. If it were me, I would simply be friends, with NO benefits---and move on to dating someone who doesn't want "open"---or others. Case closed.

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  • He seems like he doesn't want to commit maybe? It depends on what you want though. If he's worth it, then maybe soon, but if not, plenty others out there!

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