BF left and refuses to talk, text, or email me ... why?

I’m need insight into my ex-boyfriend of 7.5 years. We had an amazing relationship. He is a bad communicator and instead of telling me his wants, needs, or irritations he would in his words “suck it up”. He said making me happy made him happy. Our only issue was his lack of sex drive, and for years I have begged for sex. I finally got tired of being turned down and embarrassed to try to initiate any more. He recently went to the doctor to see what was wrong. At our annual Christmas party he got angry and left me at the party because I wasn’t ready to leave! He called the next day and said he needed to talk. He then told me he was tired of being angry and felt like he was lying to all of our friends. After a few attempts at texting and calling with no response I finally sent him an email laying my heart bare and asking what the hell had happened. I have no idea why. Looking back there weren’t any signs. Up until the day he left he was always telling me he loved me and that I was the most important thing in the world to him. His response said it was all little things that became big things. Things like not cutting the grass, said I never wanted to go anywhere (which is false, he was the one that didn’t like anyone and never wanted to go anywhere), tired of doing all the work to prepare for our off-roading trips. I was dumbfounded. He ended a 7.5 year relationship because I didn’t cut the fucking grass enough? I was also hurting because at the same time my best friend who was also going through some stuff wasn’t there for me. All of a sudden she was too busy. I turned to her when he left me and all she was MIA. I couldn’t understand that either. Three weeks later I log in to pay my phone bill and imagine my surprise to see an alert that he had burned through all of our minutes. He had spent approx 3000 min and sent 4600 text messages, 90% of which were sent to her. I was stunned! I went back a few months and found the texts started around October. The phone calls didn’t start until after he left me but there were pages of text messages. I confronted them both with the information and they both said they were just friends. Yeah right! I shared the phone bills with her husband, and his response was that he wasn’t surprised, they had been having problems. I have tried to get him to talk to me. I have assured him I am not trying to get him back I just want to know what happened. He will not even return my text message. That stings! I haven’t done anything wrong, why won’t he talk to me? I am sure she is lying to him about me also. I guess my questions are: 1. Why won’t he talk to me or return even a text message? 3. How can he want to be with a woman whom he knows is a lying backstabber? 4. Does he feel anything at all for me? Silence is the worst form of torture. I would rather know the ugly truth than to be just shut out and be ignorant of what happened to my relationship. Any insight you could provide would be helpful.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • wow, how did you manage to cope so well with all of this? Really you do deserve a lot better. Sorry to tell you, but I have no clue as to why your ex-BF refuses to talk to you. Maybe if you wait a month or so you can commuinicate again. You might want to write him a hand-written letter, For a lot of people this works. I'm feel sorry for your situation.

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What Guys Said 2

  • He is one of the lowest forms of early morning dew on a freshly laid turd. Blaming you when it was all on him. Phuck that.

    Chin up buddy, if two gay German lion tamers can find each other, you can find someone that loves you for you too.

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  • The relationship was not as amazing to him as it was to you apparently.

    Live with it and move on.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I say He won't talk to you because he's ashamed of what he's done. He feels guilty as hell. Your best comeback to to remake your life. Learn to be happy again. I say don't contact him anymore. Let the silence kill HIM. At this pout he sees no reason to contact you because he knows he can't fix what he's done. And all the answers in the world won't stop the pain.

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  • So sorry you are going through all this pain. 7.5 years is a long time to spend committed to one person or at least we all try to be if that's the case. Sounds like your BF, over time, for whatever reasons, lost interest in you. This did not happen overnight. His contact with the other woman, your GF, sounds like they have been sharing emotional intimacy if not physical. WHY? Only he knows the answer; but try to be honest with yourself how far back there might have been troubles and problems that were not discussed or resolved... at some point you need to find a good friend or professional to talk with and allow yourself to process all of this pain. It may take months and months or years... or less. We are all different; and nothing is more painful than emotional pain; when LOVE is involved.

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