Damaged guys: genuine, or bull?

Guy is damaged from childhood abuse and abusive relationships. You start out as friends. He pushes for more fast, begging you to make him see you, but is scared of following through in person. You finally meet. He pulls away, but comes back stronger. You really learn a lot about one another and things get deep, but he admits he's afraid to trust. He keeps blowing off your plans and frustrates you with the excuses and you have words. He tells you that he likes you, but doesn't want to put himself in the situation to hurt someone when he's not over his ex (is having nightmares and can't stop thinking of her) and is afraid of hurting you, then accuses you of pushing him to like you. You guys apologize and agree to be friends. He comes back a week later, saying he's ready to date, then when you ask him over again - because he's shy - he makes up an excuse and bails, only to ignore you for two days and come back saying, "I'm not ready to try and move on". You tell him that you're there for him and praying for him, but that he couldn't say you were just like the other girls and walked away. He comes back two days later, saying, "Hey. I know you think I'm a huge asshole, but I don't want to put you in a situation you don't deserve to be in". You tell him you understand, as he needs a friend more than anything right now. He disappears again after you give him constructive advice on impulsively his texting his ex (who doesn't answer him at all) and then, he reappears with another excuse. You ignore him for as long as he ignored you, even ignoring a message sent after four days and proceed to text him back after a week like he did you. A week and three days go by and he finally texts you back, saying "Hey". You respond and he disappears again, so you decide to tell him after giving him a day to courteously respond that he can either answer and stop playing the games, or delete your number, as you've been nothing but good to him. He responds instantly, with an excuse, saying he hopes you're well. You have a nice convo. You text him three days later and have another nice convo. He doesn't respond to the last thing you said and does so the next night, only for you two to have a nice convo again. I know this guy is tired of being single and is looking for a girl to ask out, but can't find any that he deems as "worth it". Why does he even keep in contact with me when he says he cares too much about me to get closer (he won't even hang out), but is looking for a girl to ask out, as it seems his actions are contradictory? You care, but you won't get close to me? You care, but you won't even hang out?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Red flags, red flags everywhere. This guys needs a therapist, not a girlfriend.

    Block/delete his number, move on.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Get ride of him and move on. This guy is playing with you . he probably has another girl he is doing the same thing to other then you .

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  • I only saw one red flag, the WHOLE TEXT.

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