How do I get my boyfriend to stop smoking?

I'm known for my "chillness" when it comes to my boyfriend and I don't get mad at him for stupid reasons.. But he has been smoking for what I just found out to be almost a year because of his anxiety and it is so gross.. When he kisses me I taste it and his clothes always smell like cigarettes instead of his cologne.. I've tried to get him to stop, I even gave him an ultimatum but it only turned on me when he told his best friend how bad a girlfriend I was for saying id break up with him, and then his best friend texted me a really rude message about how he "needs" cigarettes.. Help! Please I don't know what to do to get him to stop, its so unattractive and unhealthy :(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Getting someone to quit smoking is no easy tasks but it can be done. The fact that he's still young does make it a little easier. But the first task ahead of you is to "convince" him why he needs to stop smoking. If you can't do that you won't win no matter the threats or other methods you might try. There's a reason for his anxiety and you need to find out exactly what that is and see if it's possible to lessen it or rid him of it. You need to make a list of all the good effects of not smoking. You can start out with the ton of money saved that could be used for other good purposes; next rid of the annoyance of always wanting and needing a smoke; not having to be concerned about being in a non-smoke building or work place; short and long term benefits to health; not always smelling like a smoke stack; last but not least - doing it for you his girlfriend because you know how unattractive and unhealthy it is and how much you care about him. Our will power is truly amazing and powerful when put to a just cause. If he truly desires to stop, it's actually quite easy. Many, many people quit smoking cold turkey even after years of smoking. So he first needs to choose to stop! He needs to make up his mind that he is going to stop! Anything short of that will result in failure. Next comes you. Do you want a boyfriend that smokes and refuses to stop for you and uses a lame excuse that it's because of his anxiety? All smokers have an excuse for their smoking. If you give him an ultimatum after talking over the reasons for him to quit smoking over a short period of time, then you need to keep it! When he knows you left him for that very reason, if he really likes you he'll reconsider. If he doesn't he's not worth your time and effort nor tears. Don't let yourself get stuck with some guy that turns you off because of his bad habits. If he doesn't listen to you then he doesn't really like/love you as much as you think he does. There should be enough other guys out there that are smart enough to not be into the dirty habit of smoking. That was bad of his best friend and really bad of your boyfriend to tell him those unkind things about you. That it itself should tell you what you're faced with in trying to get him to quit. You come across as really nice and smart girl. Give him his choices and then let him make them. Then don't hesitate to make yours. Good luck!

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    • That's my issue.. Because him and his friend both told me that it was wrong of me to ask him to stop, I'm afraid to keep trying.. I don't want to make his anxiety worse by trying to make him quit smoking and I don't want to have the reputation (If I don't already) of a naggy girlfriend because I'm not.. I don't know what to say to him about it but I can't get it out of my head how much I'm against it

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    • Thank you so much!

    • You're so welcome.

What Guys Said 3

  • First off, don't give a guy an ultimatum. It will only add to his anxiety.

    Secondly, just tell him it bothers you, and that you don't want him to do it before he sees you, or while he's with you, that'll help with the smell of him and his breath.

    Thirdly, no matter what you say, he won't quit, he'll just start lying.

    Lastly, if you love him, or even remotely like him and have been with him for more than three months, sometimes, you just have to look past certain characteristics of someone. You may not like it, but sometimes you need to just put up with it because you love them.

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  • Theres noway you could stop a drug addict. Once theyre into it, theyll stick to it like glue. Its like a painkiller that relief them from their stress, worries, or pain (from what I've heard) its best to let'em go if its that gross and unattractive to you and yes its a bad habit. I heard you can have really tiny babies from smoking xD

    Tee hee!

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  • Give up something in return. ARE there any bad habits you have that he wouldn't likes?

    Or maybe you get fit together. Both better yourselves and maybe he'll quit in the process.

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What Girls Said 2

  • id constantly bug him about it. if he keeps ignoring me, id buy some nicotine patches and stick it on him whether he likes it or not and ill shove gum in his mouth too. I wouldve given him a ultimatum too.i wouldn't want to waste my time on someone that isn't even willing to try. its not really selfish of me to say that because if they don't stop...there is no future for them, or us.

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  • If this is something that's a deal breaker for you then, it is what it is. Oh. His best friend should mind his or her own dmn business b.c. this is between you and your partner.. not the friend.

    If he is really dependent on them to get him through, I'm sure you sympathize but it doesn't obligate you to stay with him.

    If you really don't like it that much, break up with him. This is your life and your choice.

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