What are girls expectations on these dating sites?

I read their profile and they all seem like they are really trying to find someone. I send them a message and usually get one out of 20 to respond, and it's normally never one of my favorites. What are they looking for a model on these sites? I've pulled some good looking girls in real life so I know I'm not that ugly. Why don't you respond more?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Women are more likely to date at their own attractiveness level online than in real life. This throws a lot of guys off since many of you have pulled at least one girl who was hotter than you in real life, and because you're swamped with hot girls at the click of a button online. If you're getting 1/20 girls responding, you're reaching too high. Girls sift through the large amount of messages by quickly glancing at a guy's profile picture and moving on if she's not attracted.

    Just trying to be honest. The only guys that I ignored who I DID find physically attractive, were ones who didn't fill out a profile (or did a bad/incomplete job of it), or who made it very clear they're just looking for one night stands.

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    • hahahahhahahahaha Women are more likely to date at their own attractiveness . ya that's why unnatractive girls are always seen following good looking guys and hoping we unnatractive guys just disapear

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    • Date at their own attractiveness? I don't know about that.

      In the rare occasion I do get a message it's from an obese girl and I am a guy who works out 5-6 times a week who gets comments in real life about my arms and such.

    • That comment was more about girls who were hotter dating guys less attractive than them. In real life, that sometimes happens. Online, not as often. Hotter guys dating girls less attractive than them never happens on any planet, as you both have made clear by your statements of all the ugly girls you'd never give a chance.

What Girls Said 8

  • As a girl who has tried online dating, we get a lot of emails from guys. When I was doing it 15-20 or sometimes even more guys were messaging me per day.

    With that many emails, likely the first thing she's doing is looking at the profile picture before deciding which one to read. Do you have a good picture?

    From the ones I chose to open, I could tell which guys were targeting me specifically following actually reading my profile and I could tell which ones had a general email they sent to everyone in hopes just anyone replied.

    What is your profile like? Is it interesting and provides a picture of your personality?

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  • I used to be on a dating website, that's how I met my boyfriend. It was quite different, the woman had to allow the guy to talk to her. Everyday, I had twenty guys wanted to talk to me. I didn't want to talk to that much people so at some point you choose the guy depending on his pic and his profil. You can't chose everyone.

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  • We just don't want a message that says hey or a sup babe wanna get a load of my magic stick

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  • People are less attractive in pictures than they are in person when you can see their personality come to life. I think girls can also be a little more picky.

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  • This is a dating site?

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  • I've learned to not respond if the guy didn't have some common interests with me. I didn't get the whole 20 messages a day thing, usually about 2-3 but I'm not like most girls and only the guys who would share my interests would bother messaging me.

    That being said, I usually found a guy that I was seriously interested in within a week of logging on.

    Out of the ones I didn't respond to, my list was something like this... didn't live relatively close to me; too young (I'm sorry, I want nothing to do with guys under 21); had no interests in common with me; no way on earth I'd ever be attracted to them. I have a pretty good idea of what kind of guys I can get in real life and online by now and learned to sort profiles the same way.

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  • It seems to be just good looking and has a job

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  • I don't think it has much to do with looks. like some of the girls noted, girls get a bunch of messages every day from guys when using dating websites. when I tried an online dating site, I didn't even post a public picture, because I look a lot younger than my age, so I thought I would attract a bunch of really old creepy guys like I do whenever I go to a gas station. Even without a profile picture, I would get a lot of messages from guys curious about my profile. the first day using the site, I responded to every message saying either "sorry, you're too old for me" or "tell me more about yourself." because of the sheer number of responses I got, within the third day I only selectively responded just because it would take too much time to respond to everyone. By the end of 5 days, I already met someone who I was really interested in, so I stopped responding to messages simply because I met someone that fast. So in short, I think that's why girls aren't responding. Unfortunately, I think internet dating is much easier for women than men. Also, women, I think, generally don't send out as many messages as guys do. I probably sent out 6 total, just because I based it on how much we had in common in the "about me" sections.

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What Guys Said 8

  • They all seem like they are trying to find someone but I am going to give you the realities of online dating.

    Whenever I would meet a girl and ask her why she made a profile... she would say it was out of boredom. These girls literally have no intention on meeting anyone in real life when they make a profile. Only some do.

    Now for girls 25 and older they look at the following: Do you have your own place? Do you have a car? Do you have a good paying job?(If you work a min wage job you're gone) Do you have a bachelor's degree or higher? Are you an 8 or higher in attractiveness? Girls who are younger will only look for a fraction of these(like you may not be old enough to have the master's degree the older girls look for). If you don't have all this stuff, they are going to claim that you are "not successful." It gets worse. You'll get judged on the size of your place. You'll get judged on your income level once they figure it out. You'll get judged on your degree if you have one. You'll get judged period. Yet they probably won't have all of these themselves. I am talking from experience here. Like when the girl is looking for an 8 or higher they'll email me back asking for more photos.

    Oh plus they're looking for things like a guy to move in with and have a child with... and they'll let you know right on their profile or on the phone before you've even met.

    The girls claim they're looking for a guy with a good personality and a sense of humor but they're only putting that stuff in their profile to hide the superficial stuff that doesn't even make them happy in the end. After you read enough profiles you'll see they almost always say the same thing... notice a crapload of girls going to school to become a teacher? All the same stuff, yet they think they're unique.

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  • 1 in 20 is a pretty low response rate, though maybe on PoF it happens. OkCupid has published data on this, the average male there gets about a 25% reply rate.

    Why don't they answer? Because they're swamped with messages, to a large extent.

    Stop having favorites based on a profile. All a profile can tell you is 'am I interested in meeting this person to see if we connect at all?'. Make sure your profile sells you enough to get that too.

    You know very little about them or how you two would be together till you start actually meeting.

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    • with this logic I am wasting my time. and probay am

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    • I don't know, but I also suspect its location specific. I know what site people in -my- city had the most success with - but it's a site that was originally based in Toronto. You'd have to talk to people where you live, and potentially try them out.

      One coworker used to keep trying free ones and wasn't too impressed with the women, prompting us to tell him 'If you want to meet a woman who has $5, you might have to spend $5'

    • and I'm sure I could easily up that ratio if I messaged some of the 30 girls that clicked the want to meet me button on my profile. But they are all the ones I have zero interest in

  • The girls are probably busy going through their other messages. Girls get more messages than guys on dating sites: that's a fact. Unfortunately, for girls, 90% of those messages aren't the ones they wanted. It's usually from older, creepy men, looking for sex propositions. They probably aren't ignoring your messages: it's simply buried under a bunch of other messages.

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  • dont worry about the girls that font respond. They'll find there peace, WORRY about the girl who does respnd!

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  • Don't do online dating haha. Its just candy store dating.

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  • they don't just look for good looks, they look for model good looks. so in other words, unless you have abs and pecs and a sharp jawline, online dating is stupid.

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  • "usually get one out of 20 to respond"

    That's better than most guys get.

    "What are they looking for a model on these sites?"

    No, they are looking for validation. On those sites they get about 100 to 150 emails a DAY. It makes them feel gorgeous and sexy and desired and wanted.

    They reply to a few, but not all. And then the next day, there's 150 more emails.

    For a girl who doesn't normally get that much attention, she can get addicted to this level of attention very quickly. Why pick one guy and watch the emails dry up, when she can keep chatting to lots of guys and get lots of validation at the same time?

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  • Women online are even more arrogant than women offline. They're flooded with messages, so why wouldn't they be?

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