Internet dating question, should I stay in contact with her?

Basically I met a girl on eharmony. I think I like her. I called her on Tuesday for the first time and we talked for and hour and 45 mins. The convo ended because she had to get to bed. Then Wednesday, I called her to ask her out. It ends up she out of town for this weekend, but we made plans to go out for dinner next Thursday. We also talked for about 45 min on the phone, and we said goodbye.

It sort of feels weird talking to her, and getting along, but not going to see her for a whole week. I'm tempted to text her a little, but I also don't want to come off as overbearing. I was thinking of just a small text tonight. And maybe a joke tomorrow before she leaves for the weekend, and maybe call her next week.

Any advice. I don't know how internet dating works.

Thanks!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • From my experience with internet "anything," sweetie, you are talking to your "star pupil" here.

    Three years ago, my husband now, found me on FB, fell in love with me, and asked me to marry him. Believe it or not, he lives in Egypt, so in 2011, I flew out, where I lived with him and his Egyptian family for 30 days. It went so well, I returned to him in 2012, where we tied the knot, and thence forth, I stayed that time for 3 months. Once I was home, we communicated as much as we both could allow, due to the big time difference, and being our lives are quite filled, it wasn't every day, but still we did --and still do---find time for love and romance through Skype and Yahoo as well as FB. This year, I am flying back out to visit him either in Egypt, or Dubai, where he is currently in the process of obtaining a work permit for a year.

    During our 3 year relationship, and nearly 2 years of marriage, we have had many ups and downs, for not because of the internet, but because of long distance. But with love and perseverance, comes the open lines of communication, and in order to maintain a relationship such as "internet dating," this is how it works.

    No, I don't think you would "come off as overbearing " at all, sweetie. Go ahead and text her a little something tonite. If I were her, I would be smiling from ear to ear, as it is hard, online and off, to find a guy who even gives one iota about doing this. Keeping the lines open is important, as I said, and with every "push of the button,"will enable you both to get even more acquainted before the "big nite"...I'm not joking..:))xx

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What Girls Said 1

  • That's only up to u

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What Guys Said 5

  • I'd drop the Internet chatting since you have a real time meeting scheduled.

    It can only irritate her..you've already communicated to the max on the Internet, with a profile and 45 min of chatting. Anythng more has to be in 'real time!'

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    • Ya, but I talked to her for over almost two hours on Tuesday, almost an hour last night. I don't think I should be calling her tonight. I am dropping the internet chat. I'm thinking of phone texting a bit.

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    • It's too late. I texted her. Sort of light chit chat. And also, neither of us are replying right away, I've sent three texts in the past hour. I'll cut it after the next one.

    • Chuckle...well, stop now!

  • Texting is fine, just keep it simple like "Hope you're day's going well, wanna talk tonight?" or something. Avoid texting "conversations." They create fictional attraction.

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  • Well first of all.You need to have very thick skin.You can't be yourself.The slightest hint,whiff or word taken out of context that sounds negative,you're done.It's sole intention is for those that are divorced or with no self esteem to use freely to express themselves.They can and do call men every nasty thing in the book and their mailboxes get flooded.It is all about building egos.Rejection is a sport.It's where what once was thought of as like minded people logged on and read profiles of one an other,made contact.Conversations would be to see if there might be some common ground.Now it's just pictures and no replying.It's really some of the most fun I have ever had.You get a good sense of why the divorce flood gates have been wide open for so long and who is initiating the majority of them.

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    • Why is everyone writing doomsday stuff here? I thought I was negative thinking... I thought maybe she'd have second thoughts. I did text her a little bit. All that happened is we made a few jokes, she arranged to have our date moved up earlier in the week (which is exactly what I wanted). She's not divorced, and I don't think she has low self esteem. She was born in a different country, and lived in different cities in my country. So she's sort of new to the place.

  • Internet dating is dating. It doesn't work any different; it just means you met through alternative means, rather than at church, work, school, the grocery store, wherever. That said, don't pester her with comments; let her miss you a little - give it a few days - before contacting her again. You want her to be really excited about going out with you, and you could smother her with messages and calls and whatever before your date.

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  • No!

    Slow down tiger. You've made the date. Let expectation build.

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