Why'd you disappear?

When you have been with someone for a while, you act like you care about them, and then you randomly stop contacting them... why? Has anyone ever done this? What caused you to do this?


Most Helpful Girl

  • People have a hard time facing certain truths about themselves. That they can be callous, unfeeling, cheaters, or ugly. And when it comes time to own up to your flaws, a lot of people take the easy way out and outright ignore their own bad behavior. In turn, it is those they ignore that deal with the consequences of their denials.

    Lying to yourself starts off simple, "I'll talk to them later. Oh, look how much time has passed, it's so late, I guess I'll have to wait until tomorrow.", "I'll just finish this one last think and then I'll text. Wow, I didn't realize how much time has passed! Guess it can wait!", "I need to prepare what I want to say ... I can't figure out how to put it in a way that they will understand, I'll work on it later," etc,etc. You tell yourself that they would understand, you do still care - you just can't make the time right now to give an explanation.

    Then you get to a point that you realize that there are no excuses for your lack of communication, it's been too long and you just let it go. Sure, there is a twinge of guilt now and then, but you reassure yourself that it wasn't your fault, it was time, your job, other things in your life, and you move on, telling yourself that you aren't so bad because you at least feel bad about it.

    It's human nature to excuse your bad behavior, place the blame elsewhere. And sadly, that character flaw has nothing to do with the poor person who is waiting to hear something from you - and everything to do with simply being an asshole.

    Facing up to your mistakes it one of the hardest things to do in life, it takes a person with strong character and empathy to be honest. Inmy experience, there are very few people like that in this world.

    I know all this because that's how my dad left my mother and us 20 years ago. Just never heard from him in 10 years ...

    I wish those who suffered from this lack of respect would know they aren't treated this way because there is something wrong with them, but it's the lack of integrity from those who can toss a person's feeling aside that is the flawed one.

    Good luck.


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What Guys Said 1

  • its usually a test to see if the other gender will contact you to see if they truly want you, from them disappearing, and girls fail every time


What Girls Said 3

  • I did it to someone because it turned out they only wanted sex from me and I didn't want to hear it anymore me and this person talked for about a year.

  • I have never done this but it has been done to me. I just turns out the guy was an asshole.

  • Sometimes people need a break or whatever. Don't take it personal.