3 dates and she still resists the kiss. Why?

Im stressing out.

3 dates (each 2-3 hrs long) and HAVEN'T kissed yet!

- I paid for our dates.

- conversations are fun and without awkward silences.

- I don't just sit there. By nature I'm an extrovert and I like to use my body language a lot as well as touching

I went for a kiss on every single date (middle/end of it) and over 10 times but each time she turns her head so I just kiss her on a cheek, forehead, neck.

Is she is there for the food? ahaha


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Most Helpful Guy

  • She's playing you, move on.

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    • Thank you sir! Challenge accepted! ;)

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    • She's not going to contact you. Girls are like that, they don't want you to feel hurt, so instead of telling you up front "I don't like you" they "blow you off". I know it's stupid and I wish girls weren't so stupid in the cases, but you've just gotta get over the fact and move on kiddo.

    • Im 95% positive that she is not gonna flake on a 'date'. I guess Ill just have to get my answers straight from her.

What Girls Said 23

  • When she turns her head,

    Make a comment and say, "your lips would feel better".

    It's possible she has had no/very little experience kissing and may be shy about it.

    That or she doesn't feel ready although you are.

    People are ready at different times.

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    • Good idea. I was thinking of saying something along the lines "you seem so uncertain. I don't talk with insecure girls" and if it won't work I might say something "You don't like me? If you don't like me I can leave" and if she will say No, I'll smile and say I was just kidding and gonna give her a hug. What do you think of that approach?

  • Lol "she resists the kiss" I love this title. Hitch rule let her come 90 you go 10 lol. Try just letting her come to you don't force it. Go on a date, forth date she should definently know you're into her by that time already if she doesn't then she really must like the food. If you go out with her for this forth date don't make any attempts to kiss her, go with the flow and see what she does.

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    • Well if it leads nowhere I wanna stop pursuing her. I like that girl and the more I go out with her the more I like her. I don't wanna fall in love if there is no light in the tunnel. Forth date might be our last one. Should I still try to kiss her? What if she won't even attempt to kiss me?

    • Understandable but just try this one more date. Don't make any attempt what so ever to kiss her. If she doesn't make any effort to kiss you when the date ends just tell her how you really feel about her and that you'd like to kiss her. Then one or both of you can come back on this site and tell us the what's what.

  • xD you made me laugh.

    no look, am the same it can be that she is just to shy or embarrassed to kiss you, with this deosnt mean she doesn't like you is just that she is just very shy or so...

    but it is very sweet of you that at least you kiss her on the neck/ cheek whatever it is, just once try to steal a kiss from her, and then she will see that is not so bad as she thinks,

    maybe she doesn't know how to kiss and she doesn't want you to know

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  • I think she probably doesn't have much experience or none at all and she is too shy.I don't have any experience about kissing and I would be scared too...,except guys don't like me haha,so I have nothing to worry about.Since she agreed to go on more than a date,I think it's not possible to not like you.It's been only three days,she probably is afraid of the unknown. Although it would be shockingly funny if she were there for the food,haha. And don't say what you wanted "I don't talk to insecure girls",i'd freaking hate it,I'm insecure and shy and it really sounds shallow. Have a nice day :)

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  • She's obviously not ready for the kiss so don't push for it! Don't make a move until you've had two more dates and you can read her body language. She'll more than likely be playing with her hair, body angled towards you and smiling. If she wants to kiss you try to notice where she looks when you're talking, if she flicks glances to your lips try kissing her. If you don't pick up on those signals she's probably not interested.

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  • Ok. I think some girls are still on the whole old fashioned way of doing things. Take some things in consideration if she just got out of a bad break up maybe she wants to take more time maybe she thinks it will effect the relationship differently. Or maybe she's friend zoning you.

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  • If it feels like pulling teeth to get her to make plans or if she seems to disappear between dates I'd say let it go. She may not know what to say/do nicely to end things. BUT, if she seems genuinely interested--ask her about it. Seriously. After dating online for a year I learned a lot! Just say hey, I don't know what your boundaries are. Is kissing OK at this point? A girl who waits 3 dates to do just that is clearly thinking things through, she's classy, and she's mature to have that conversation. PLUS, if she's not into it, that just might be the thing that will get her to be up front. You can't really dance around that question!

    I'd consider myself to have traditional values. I'm not a psycho-prude, but by a third date, come on...you hardly know the person. No WAY would I ever go any further than kissing by a 3rd date. If you're starting to feel like meal ticket, suggest something else that's less $$ but still creative and fun. Good luck!

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  • Could be the food, I love people paying for me personally. She probably just doesn't move as fast as you do, she will kiss you when she wants to kiss you. What would suck is one day she wants you to make the move, yet you don't, making her believe that you might not like her anymore. Just read her body language to see what is ok and what isn't.

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  • If she keeps going on dates with you then she likes you. Just give her time. She seems to have a lot of respect for herself. She's waiting until it feels right and you have to respect that

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  • Maybe she does not feel strongly for you yet! It's so understandable because it's only 3 dates! After 100 dates try again. You will have better chance!

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    • Really? 100 dates. Anything more than 5 dates and no kissing is abnormally slow.

  • Ask her what she wants. She might have been burned pretty badly in a past relationship and so she may want to take things slowly. Just be upfront and ask her.

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  • Probably. I did that with some guy. I went out with him 3 times. And I just wasn't feeling it everytime he would try to make a move. I didn't want to hurt him. Maybe she isn't feeling it

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  • Take it slow she most likely isn't ready yet. Get to know her more and she might be a virgin

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  • Maybe she's nervous?

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  • If she likes u then she's probably gonna kiss back

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  • Dont stress you just got to give her some time maybe shes thinking about it but shes just too nervous mayb shes thinking the same exact thing you are right now when the time is right that speacial moment will come

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  • She is probably shy or she could have never kissed anyone before and could be nervous about it

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  • Maybe she has herpes and is afraid of telling you but doesn't want to give it to you.
    Maybe you have bad breath.
    Maybe she has bad breath.
    Maybe she's a germaphobe.
    Maybe she just wants to move REALLLLY slowly.

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  • Maybe she wants to make sure your in it for the right reasons.

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  • yup she doesnt find you attractive i guess

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  • first thing i could think is that you may have bad breath. brush your teeth, the roof of your mouth, your gums AND your tounge. seriously pay attention to your breath! if its minty fresh then either she wants to take things very slow, or shes not interested

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  • She might just be a little shy about it, give her time.

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What Guys Said 7

  • She's probably tired of guys who are only willing to pay for meals and dates to get sex. She likely thinks you're just another one of those guys. Who doesn't really care for her heart, who isn't willing to invest the time and effort to get to know, and love her. Are you that guy?

    Maybe for her a kiss means more than it does to you. So she's afraid to give it after "Three dates".

    I personally would wait until she was comfortable enough to give it. Women rely on us men to protect them, and love and care for them, it's part of their nature. (Most women.) Maybe she feels like you are moving too fast. Some women are like that. Are you willing to invest the time to get to know her, to find out what her heart loves from you?

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    • I don't wanna spend an eternity going on dates if they lead no where. Also my wallet can't afford that.

      Most of the girls I've gone on dates with were ready to go for a kiss after all of the signs that I've seen from them

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    • Im definitely not moving too fast and I will definitely not pay for another date. I'm also not willing to invest more time into her

    • Really? Just because you kiss a girl on the first date doesn't mean you're there just for sex.

      I mean I get what you mean, but this is just insanity.

  • sounds like she likes you but maybe doesn't LIKE you. Know what I mean?

    she probably goes on the dates because a part of her wants to see if something can develop but clearly there is a lack in physical connection on her part.

    Do you know if she is generally maybe a bit conservative in relatioships? Reserved?

    Or is the fact that she rejects your advances a sign that she simply isn't into you that much?

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    • Thanks for opening my eyes. I'm being played.

      I've met her at the party and she was pretty wild. Should I call her on being a player?

      She is not religious, conservative nor a prude type. Well I never have any problems arranging dates. Any recommendations how can I get back at her? Should I play her own game?

    • doesn't really sound like a player to me. unless she is just going out with you for the free meals. I would just walk away from her...let her play her games, if that is what she's doing, on someone else

  • Don't ask us. Ask her.

    Next time just chill out, and when you'd normally go for a kiss, grin at her and ask what's a guy gotta do to get a kiss from you? Then smile big so it's not a complaint. You'll either get a kiss or an explanation.

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  • If you want to make sure she is interested for the kisses, go for IOI or her body language. If she does, you reciprocrate, it never goes wrong if you follow this rule.

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  • Maybe she just doesn't want to intimately kiss someone whom she's met only three times...

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    • However, you should make her share the costs in such a scenario. The person who invites the other should pay 66% (or 75%) while the invited person should pay 34%.(or 25%).

  • She's just not into you, or she has some extreme social phobia or religious views that she hasn't told you about.

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    • Turn off: Feelings mode. Turn on: I don't give a damn mode.

      No she is definitely not a prude nor a religious girl etc.

      Any recommendations how can I get back at her? :)

    • Like said OP, you DON'T bother with her..

    • The only way to get back at her is to move on and find some other girl. That probably will make her jealous. In my experience, it always does.

  • She's not into you - and you keep not getting that.

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    • Then why would she do all of the above things with me?

      I also didn't mention that she is the one who texts me first and her replies are always long, informative and instantaneous

    • Thanks buddy. You are right

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