I can't tell if he just wants to get laid or if he wants a relationship?

Background on me... I have been separated from my husband for 2 years (we are going through the divorce process) and I was extremely depressed and was just starting to give up! This guy has been poking me on Facebook through out the years and one day I said to myself what the heck I will poke him back. we then started texting and messaging throughout the day. He and I went to High School together and he said that he had a crush on me... then we started talking more and more and now about sex. He lives a few hours away from me now but he does come home to my hometown and we did meet up. Nothing sexual happened between us and we continued to talk... over the last few weeks we were talking less and less. I was beginning to get a little frustrated so I posted some general posts on relationships on FB... I wrote "take me as I am, or watch me as I go." he instantly wrote to me and we started talking again, but it mostly is about sex. He is flirting with me. I just don't know how to take this!


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What Guys Said 2

  • You indirectly conveyed to him that you will have sex with him, regardless of his desire to be in a committed relationship with you, when you engaged in sex talk before your wants and needs were established. Therefore, he may have minimal motivation to put forth patience and effort to understand you- your likes, dislikes, goals, and fears, etc.

    With that being said, yes, he wants sex, obviously, which should not be interpreted as a sign of his interest to be in a relationship. And he may very well think that you are looking for the same, at least until you have made him aware of your position.

    If you do not like the script, don't play the part. Keep in mind that guys equate sex talk and the like as being easy or loose. Challenge him.

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    • He is aware of my feelings of past relationships and why they went bad, and we both agreed that we want more than just sex. Then we ended up talking about sex it more and more. He even stated that he knows that I need more than just a fun time. I don't want to push him but at the same time have him understand I am more than just sex. I don't really know how to be direct without pushing him away. Mostly because I have been doing better emotionally, physically and living a healthier life.

    • For now, eliminate or reduce the sex talk. Focus on getting to know each.

  • Wants to get laid for now, relationship can follow.

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    • I want to enjoy being intimate with hi but I do want more than sex. I want to keep him interested. When we first started talking I said a few times that I don't just want him to like me just for sex. He agreed! He stated Sex can ruin it but also make it great! I just don't want to get hurt.

    • gotta take a risk in this case it seems

What Girls Said 0

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