What do I do? Catfished

I met this girl online, we talked for a couple of weeks and just me up yesterday. Upon meeting up, I'm 99% sure she is not the same person in the pictures she was sending me, or had on her profile, no blue eyes (We're really blue in the pics). I am not attracted to the person that I met up with, thought the girl in the pics she had was rather cute. I don't know if these pictures were from her years and years ago or what. I don't want to hurt her, but I don't want to lie to her either and continue on with this when it honestly doesn't have much chance, since I lack the attraction that is important to any relationship. I don't want to hurt her by telling this. Would never tell her that I'm not attracted to her, wouldn't do that to her, like I said, I don't want to hurt her. I don't know what to do though. Please help


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Most Helpful Girl

  • There's no way to break it off with her without saying something that is going to hurt her. The other option is to just stop contacting her and ignoring all of her messages, etc. but I highly do not recommend that since my ex did that to me and it hurt more than it would if he would've just told the truth. Just be frank with her and tell her you don't feel like she is right for you, and that you think she is a lovely lady who deserves someone better than you for her. Chances are she was sending pictures of someone else anyways, and when you catfish someone and fall in love with them you aren't going to get the reaction you want when you reveal your true self to them.

    If she did catfish you, she was setting herself up for hurt anyways because not only was she not the person you expected, but if she'll lie about that what else will she lie about? I would recommend breaking it off with her as soon as possible instead of continuing to lead her on as that will only make things more complicated.

    Good luck.

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    • I was thinking the same thing about lie now equals what later. Also, I did stay and talk to her, be friendly, but really we are just two different people anyways, was going to tell her that. Really don't want to hurt anybody, but this just isn't going to work

    • Exactly. If you lie to someone about who you are then you can't expect them to want to stay with you because you've already proved to be deceitful and that very easily could carry on to other things. And you probably want someone who is comfortable enough with who they are to reveal themselves right away, who wouldn't?

      DEFINITELY don't ignore her, because trust me that hurts a hell of a lot more than just telling the truth. My ex lead me on and then just ignored all of my messages and it drove

    • me crazy. The sooner you tell her the better because then the sooner she will get over it. She really needs to just accept who she is and not lie about it to people because I guarantee that you are not the first person to dump her because of this.

What Girls Said 3

  • Tell her you think the photos should be updated and then don't talk to her again.

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  • Just ignore her, plain and simple

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    • Can't do that, know how that would make me feel. Obviously she has very low self esteem in order to do this, don't want to lower it any further. Gonna let her down easy, to preserve what self esteem she does have, at least try to

  • Just say you dnt feel that connection you had with her online and you are better off just being friends.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I would be highly offended that someone lied to me like that, and I would be sure to let them know that they don't look anything like the person in the pics I received and ask for an explanation for their deceitful behaviour. Eyes do not change colour, unless she was wearing coloured contacs.

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  • Should be a law against that type of shit people lose touch with real human relationships possibly even mess up there motivation in life.

    I'm sorry but after going through something like that which possibly made me lose interest in most women unless their gorgeous. Made me literally have no trust for anyone except my family.

    Least you found out yours was a girl & or not a guy?

    F**K HER

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  • Tell her a variation on the truth - that she lied about her appearance, and you can't stand to be with someone who lied to you.

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