Has anyone ever decide to give up on dating?

I Haven't been successful with "love". I want to just focus on other things but I always wanted a big family so yeah I'm not sure how that's gonna happen. I have given my time & affection only to be heartbroken. I just found out a guy I dated three years ago has been with his girlfriend for six years! I got over him a while back but hearing this kinda just reminds me of why I CHOOSE to be single. Although guys have been asking me out I've turned ALL of them down.

1. Has anyone gave up dating for good? what was your reason?

2. Is it wrong for me to give up on dating? (I've achieved a lot on my own)


0|1
1|9

Most Helpful Guy

  • At least you got asked out! I never did!

    1. I haven't. I gave up on people. But I won't give up on dating.

    2. You don't give up on something just because it's tough. You have to go on. Life is like that. It throws a bunch of obstacles your way, you work around it, or you just realize that it really didn't matter that much in the end, that life was much more than just finding romance.

    There is much more to enjoy in life. Happiness comes in many forms. It can be about being with your family and siblings, having close friends who understand you, enjoying a good book, being recognised for your achievements, helping others. There is also happiness in romance too. But it's not the only thing. So don't give it up. But don't obsess over it either.

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 8

  • 1. I gave up on dating years ago, but for some damned reason, I keep myself open to options. I don't chase anymore and have led a less stressful life up until about a year ago. Now the loneliness is just murder. Being in college surrounded by these booty shorts wearing hotties isn't helping at all.

    2. You are completely wrong for giving up for a number of reasons. The first is that you are way too young to give up. You haven't been through life long enough to know pain from pleasure, joy from misery. Means you are still inexperienced. The second is that you have turned down some good men for typically selfish reasons. You did say you wanted to focus on other things, so you want for yourself. Only an argument of whether this is being strong and independent, selfish and conceited or desperate and needy. Not going there today. Third, what have you achieved? What is it you are trying to prove that being alone is so much better than being with a man? Finally, how do you expect to be a good partner when you have been alone for so long? IF a person has been single for say, up to age 35 then finds a suitable partner, you can't go from individual to team player overnight like a light switch. For so many years, that person cared only for themselves and now they have to be conscious about another person...doesn't normally work at all.

    I think you have some soul searching to do. The good news is you are still young but do not think for a moment you have time to figure it out. Dating gets tougher as you get older

    1|0
    0|1
    • Who are you to tell this young woman what she chooses to do with HER LIFE is "completely wrong"?

      Turning down dates because you want to concentrate on your self for now is "selfish"? As to whether these men, that you don't know, were "good men" is pure speculation. What if the guys were a***oles? They would get turned down too. So is that being selfish? Or another bad choice?

      What is wrong with "wanting for yourself"? She is giving herself something only she can give...

    • Show All
    • ...cont...for the time being makes a lot more sense than jumping into a marriage and starting a family. Then ten years from now realizing you made a big mistake. Now the choice you make (stay or go) will affect more than just yourself.

      If this is what she wants. More power to her.

      :-)

    • @Archer26 I'm not saying being alone is much better than being with a man. I'm saying that for ME being with a guy has caused me a lot of pain. On my own, I do pretty good for myself. I'm not saying "I don't need a man! I'm independent! I'm a great achiever!" I'm just saying I work very hard and accomplish my goals because I'm not suffering from a heartbreak or whatever.

      @ironeddie solid points! you TOTALLY get where I'm coming from!

  • I'm sure people have, I'm not one of them... I want to date and I want to get married/have children etc... Plus I feel like I'd be denying myself a lot of things in life. Is it wrong for you to give up on dating? No, not if that's what you want... I'd say do it for the right reasons though, judging people based on the past or the majority isn't the way to go about it. I'm open to dating because I know there are good people out there, the chances of me dating one are higher if I'm actually dating. My chances of missing them are 100% if I don't date.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Traditional, guy-asks-girl-stares dating, you're quite right to reject it. Usually guys in that game are not serious about you, and likely have other girls they don't tell you about.

    I gave it up by 17 and only met people in more 'natural' ways, working together on something, or in classes where we could interact in a non-structured way.

    1|1
    0|0
    • Man, you hit it on the nail! Guys in the game are the non-serious ones. The serious ones are the dudes with no game that strikeout all the damn time, like me lol

    • Right-you should not play that game

  • It isn't wrong, but it doesn't sound like you are the type of person that would be happy alone for the rest of your life. If you want a big family, you need to put yourself out there more and find someone that wants the same thing.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Ive given guys chances & I'm always left feeling devastated. I'm tired of being disappointed over & over again. So at this point I'm scared of putting myself out there. Its safer being single but yeah I want a big family someday so yeah Idk.

  • Several people have, is it wrong? hell no it is your life lol you can do whatever you want XP

    Personally I've given up on dating for the time being, I'm too busy and would rather have fun then be worried or tied down to a girlfriend. But I know eventually I will settle down and go for a GF/ wife because I too want a big family!

    1|0
    0|0
  • It isn't wrong to give up on dating, but it is wrong to give up on the man who will love you, cherish you, and give his heart to you. He may find you, you never know. So keep your heart, and soul open. Because you never know.

    1|0
    0|0
  • 1. LIke another dude said in his comment- Didn't give up dating but I gave up on people. What I mean is that it seems most normal people don't know how to commit or know what empathy is. That's why you have so much cheating, jealousy, arrogance, etc. It's really sad but that doesn't mean I've become a recluse; I just accepted it.

    2. It's not wrong. What's wrong is you hurting someone else and breaking the Golden Rule. As long as everyone is fine, including yourself, then go ahead and do whatever it is you need to do.

    0|0
    0|0
  • probably the reason why you had problems with guys is you wanted a "big family" and not really desire/love a guy in the first place..(not want guys for the right reasons).. some guys don't want kids at all and plus the guys you go for where probably the "player" and "confident" types anyways, cause most girls think guys have to make all the moves and be all "confident" so girls get stupid from that, and girls never make the moves first themselves

    but its obviously your choice to give up, and not learn from your mistakes

    1|0
    0|0
    • Nooooo let me make things clear I have NEVER mention kids to guys. period. SOMEDAY when I'm much older sure I'd like to have a big family. Now? No freaking way. I'm young & wanna enjoy my youth. I'm not dating guys because I want a big family. Ur right tho I've dated a lot of "players" & "confident" guys.

What Girls Said 1

  • Yes.. My reason? I like chicks.. but my fam. wouldn't understand, and I don't want them to have a collective heart attack so I pretend to like dudes lol :/...

    1|1
    0|0
    • whoooah. I wasn't expecting that reason! Lol I can relate tho to not being able to be myself & being open with certain things because of my fam. ugh. I hope one day you can come out to them & they accept it! :)

    • ..Go on...

      (heavy breathing)

    • I know right! :) Thanks <3 <3

Loading...