Starting dating after your partner died?

My fiance died 3 years ago in Iraq. He was my first love, I feel like I hit jackpot on first try and I'm never gonna get that again.

My friends keep pushing me to date, but I just can't see myself with another man. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life, but I don't really want to date either.

I've been on a few dates, but I didn't really like any of them as much as I liked my fiance

I'm fine otherwise. I mean it was hard when he died, but it's been 3 years, I'm living my life, mostly. But with dating, I don't know how to get back out there?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The way to progress here is to become friends. Your emotions will always be for your fiancé, and no man will ever replace those emotions, so all you will have is room for a male friend, but only when you become friends and have trust in that friend is when you realize that there are people who can make you feel the same about them as you did your fiancé, but this will take time, which is why you should just form a good friendship. Talking about your fiancé with a guy who should be more than willing to listen, will help you bond that little bit more with men, and if any guy feels as if its all about your fiancé, and not enough about him, well you then know, this guy is not the type of friend you need, because your going to need to be able to have your fiancé in and included in any relationship/friendship you have, because it is only you that can decide when its time to completely let go, and that can take a long time, and any guy who thinks he is worthy of you, would allow you that time and be happy to have you as a friend,x

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What Guys Said 1

  • You're not ready to date yet.

    You're friends are pushing you.

    Can't see yourself with another man

    You don't really want to date either.

    You're comparing your dates to your fiance.

    No-one is your fiance except your fiance. There are a lot of great guys out there. But by comparing them you're not allowing yourself a chance of connecting someone.

    Please don't take this the wrong way. I feel you have mentally moved on. But not because you were ready. It's more of a 'that's what I'm suppose to do'

    But emotionally you haven't moved on. You'll never forget your fiance, and you shouldn't. But your emotions are what's comparing everyone. I feel you haven't let your husband go, you're still grieving.

    It's obvious you have a great love for him. But do you think your fiance wants you to stay where you are? Or would he want you to be happy and not be alone? He will always be with you. always a part of you. But no physically.

    I've never lost a girlfriend or spouse, so I may be talking out my ass. Maybe you may want to consider some grief counseling.

    You don't have to answer these questions here. It is something to think about.

    I am truly sorry for your loss.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You're not ready for dating yet - I don't think I'd ever be able to move on if I was in your position tbh

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