Guys would this hurt your feelings

Ok, so I've been on a couple of dates with this really nice (so I think) guy and the other night we were watching a movie at his house we were making out and went to bed and kept on fooling around for like hours. We did not have sex, he wasn't pushy but very respectful, but I was totally teasing him, and ended up giving him just a hand job. During the makeout session, he gave me some over the shorts action, and I wouldn't let him do anything under the drawers. He kept trying which was kind of rude I think, but at no point was he out of control forward about it.

We were talking about it the next morning in bed and I reexplained to him that it's just how I felt about it and only let guys that are special get that far... Now what I meant, and hopefully at some point it came out of my mouth properly, was basically I want to be in a relationship before I give up my lady parts... He said that he just didn't feel like I was into it and it seemed like I hurt his ego a wee bit...

So guys, would this hurt your feelings genuinely and would you assume that a girl wasn't into it? It has been a couple days since he has texted me and I don't know what's up?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, you've hurt his ego.

    He set himself a goal and he failed.

    Many guys think (and I sympathize with this view) that pretty much any girl can be seduced at any time provided that she is turned on enough by the guy. In other words, allegedly, there are very few girls who could genuinely resist ANY guy.

    So, as he sees it, you're just not into him. Probably he's moved on. I admit I do this with some girls too.

    • really? like even though I jerked him off? But is there anything I could do...

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    • Thank you so much! I really needed this insight... I feel like he really cares, haven't known him long, but he just treats me like no other guy ever has and I definitely know how to tell by now when a guy doesn't like me lol It's kinda making sense now... I guess I'll text him tomorrow and see how his leg is and see if hell talk to me... You were so helpful thanks!

    • Aww, good luck. No problem.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Get in touch with him, show him your still interested, because he could of took it as your not that into him, but if you refresh that by making contact, then he will be inclined to accept that you are interested in him ande just wanted to take it slow, which he will respect a lot,x

    • Yeah I don't know what's going on now... We had plans for a couple days after that and I didn't hear from him for a couple days so I did text him to see if we were still on and like you said to make him feel like I'm still interested and he said "Yeah maybe :) like when?" and he'd text me later and he never did so I reckon I went wrong somewhere... I was thinking that he felt like I wasn't interested now I feel like I was too clingy by texting him... It's like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't :/

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    • Thanks :) Yeah, I feel like I'm a nice catch and as much as I like him, I shouldn't have to work so hard for him to like me... I'm really disappointed, but I'm gonna just go out with other guys and maybe he'll think of me in a couple weeks or something and if I wanna go again it'll be my decision and if he doesn't I know I have more options... but you are very nice and helpful :)

    • Thankyou, I appreciate the compliment, and your welcome,x

  • I think you phrased things in a way that made him feel he wasn't 'special' he will leave you to those 'special' guys.

    You really have to be careful how you phrase things when you tell a guy no sex...!

  • So, you fool around with him, get him aroused to an extent and lead him on (You call him rude for attempting multiple times after you lead him on... wow), then you block his **** with a silly excuse and insult him?

    Why are you even asking this?

    • I appreciate brutal honesty... I'm asking because I feel like I got him off so wtf are his panties in a bunch? Now it seems to me that the only reason he is unhappy is because he got "rejected" I don't even call that rejection... If he has your attitude about it then I would assume that it was only because I wouldn't totally abandon all of my morals for his d*ck...

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    • I did say that I wasn't gonna have sex with him... I made it very clear what the boundaries were and I explained to him why... and I really do appreciate the brutal honesty... not being passive aggressive or sarcastic... just because I don't like it I still like to know that side of it!

    • Oh sorry, I didn't know you'd told him... so I guess he was in the wrong for expecting things to progress pass the limit you set for him. He's a little butt hurt, but he'll get over it. we all learn from experience/mistake, so you'll remember this next time you have a similar experience with a guy.

      (Wouldn't touch him unless you're willing to go further)

      Good luck

  • Me? No it would not hurt me personally. However, perhaps you should clarify that you meant was that you wanted to be in a relationship before you go that far, and drop the "only let guys that are special get that far" language.

  • If you didn't want to have sex with him, I wouldn't have made out with him for hours or slept in his bed WITHOUT being 100 % clear with him way before anything started.

    • A wise policy, 1inmillion, but often forgotten in the heat of passion.

  • Yeah. I mean I would get pissed off if a girl gave me a handjob and just deliberately refused to go all the way


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