Is it always this hard?

So I am totally into a guy that is bipolar. I am OK with it and do not see that being the issue. But he runs so hot and cold I can never figure anything out.

He flirts and I flirt back. He says we need to go hang out, I agree, and he tells me he can't because he has his kid.

So he says he wants to "get together" shall I say. I say OK, he says he can't because he wants to be a good role model.

I say we should go out to get dinner. He agrees. Then he backs off. I try to confirm when this will happen and he tells me he needs to buy his kid shoes so he doesn't know when.

He texts me constantly, but on the rare occasion we see each other at work ( he works in another dept) he acts like he doesn't know me. In fact he will talk to people sitting next to me and never look at me.

I know he has ups and downs, but come one. Plus I know I am nowhere near his normal type, but he was the one who came on to me first. I just can't wrap my head around it.


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What Guys Said 1

  • These constant cancellations don't seem to be driven by his condition. As far as I understand, the ups and downs of bipolar don't swing that often or that quickly. These actions seem like a protection mechanism either to protect himself from a relationship or to protect you from himself. It sounds like he's into you but cannot or will not act on that. I'm not sure that there is much you can do about this. You could ask what's going on but I would guess you wouldn't get a straight answer. The next time he does this, you could simply tell him that he doesn't act like he wants to go out with you. He may deny this but at least it's out there. He might get past this and come through on meeting you outside of work. I don't suggest putting a lot of hope or effort into this until he does get past whatever is blocking him.

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