Online dating w/o a picture. Is it a bad thing if a guy asks right away to see your picture?

Yes, I get that guys will ultimately want to know what I look like. But if it's the first thing they are asking for, does it foreshadow them, at least seeming like a jerk? Or being shallow?

How embarrassing it is to send a picture and for them to stop replying! This only happened to me 1/5 times. OK maybe 2/5 (He replied for a couple of times after that with Q's and then suddenly stopped).


0|0
5|20

Most Helpful Guy

  • "But if it's the first thing they are asking for, does it foreshadow them, at least seeming like a jerk?" No. Because he has to find you attractive if he's going to have a relationship with you. Men and women are different. Women get much more out of conversation for the sake of conversation than men do. This man is on a mission to find what he wants to find. He just doesn't want to waste his time or yours.

    If you're embarrassed by guys not replying to you after you show them your pic, make your pic visible for all to see. Also you'll encourage more guys to message you.

    0|1
    0|0

What Guys Said 19

  • It's not a bad thing, it's normal. It's not any worse than females not responding to a guy after he sends them messages... for the obvious reason, she's not attracted.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Lol I met this girl online she was really cool but I never seen her before , we played video games online together and talked alot, she wanted my Facebook invite but I told her I rather not know what she looked like because I already realized I liked her for who she was and not what she looked like... She guilt tripped me into friend requesting her and also told me she looks like a 10 and put all these ideas in my head ...then when I did friend request her my attraction to her died instantly the mystery was over and she lied about her looks and age and regretted friend requesting her lol...

    My advice is just put up a picture because a guys imagination will go wild and you will have to live up to his imagination

    0|1
    0|0
  • I've looked through those sites before and I invariably choose the option to only look at profiles with pictures. Physical attraction is part of the whole thing, plus if you have no picture some people may assume several negative things:

    1. You're not providing accurate information

    2. You don't care enough to set up a full profile

    3. It was skipped to avoid putting people off

    I tend to fall in to category 2 myself most of the time, so if someone were to stumble upon some barely-touched profile of mine and assume it they would be largely right. There are plenty of good reasons why you would not want to just throw your picture out for all to see, but bear in mind that it may well send a negative message to people for several reasons. Or they may just be there to window shop, not to put effort into it.

    0|1
    0|0
  • It doesn't make him shallow. Simply put, there's so need to waste anyone's time, so you might as well put up a pic. You'll get way more messages this way too.

    1|2
    0|0
  • I wouldn't buy something online without seeing a picture, I'm damn sure not gonna pursue someone in a dating manner without seeing what she looks like first!

    I understand your mentality of "I want guys to read my profile and talk to me so I'm not stereotyped or dismissed because of what I look like. " But this goes against male primal instinct of being visual creatures.

    There are probably A LOT of guys that completely bypassed your profile (and not all of them are shallow jerks!)

    0|0
    0|0
  • Its pretty normal.

    0|2
    0|0
  • I agree with what some of the other guys said. There is no point in dating someone you're not attracted to. Same goes for girls. It's a psychological fact the first thing we notice is someone's face so if someone's face isn't something we want to look at all the time, dating just wouldn't be in the cards.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Put up a picture. O else the guy is going to imagine what he hopes you might look like. You don't walk around public with a mask on hoping some on will hit on you

    0|1
    0|0
  • No there's nothing wrong with it. He has to be physically attracted to you to have a relationship with you, why would he spend so much time talking to you only to find that he doesn't fancy you at all? That isn't shallow.

    0|1
    0|0
  • By not having a picture, many will assume you're hiding something. They have to find out what you look like eventually, so they're getting it out of the way.

    0|1
    0|0
  • As shallow as it may seem, it is perfectly OK to ask for one. Looks matter ! Looks only stop to matter when your personality takes over after a few meetings.

    0|0
    0|0
  • thats like the most important thing. You aren't going to bother trying to date a person if you aren't attracted to them

    0|1
    0|0
  • There's a reason why I don't put my picture on here or dating sites, I scare the women away with my ugly looks. :(

    0|2
    0|0
  • You absolutely have to have a picture on your dating profile.

    0|2
    0|0
  • Sorry, but it's really a deal-breaker for me. Looks-wise, I know what I'm attracted to. On dating sites, I won't contact a woman or reply to messages from one without knowing what she looks like as well.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Not at all! Guys don't' want to date someone they're not attracted to. Guys are attracted to a girl by looks first, then we start to like the other stuff. :)

    0|1
    0|0
  • Put a picture on your profile..

    0|1
    0|0
  • No, its fine.

    0|2
    0|0
  • no, it's normal. what guy is going to invest time/energy when he doesn't even know if he finds the girl attractive or not?

    0|1
    0|0

What Girls Said 5

  • No, I have gotten it millions of times myself when "on the spot dating." And I will explain why.

    I became an advocate a few years ago On Facebook for "Online romance scammers and false profiles." I had educated myself into knowing what to look for and to avoid as well, and in belonged to a group for this. I was therefore equipped to guide and assist people with this big ongoing problem, which Does occur A lot on these various dating sites.

    True, I Do suggest to many people here to go in search for true love online, but also to pre-prepare themselves in doing so. Like with anything new and exciting, there are pros and cons, and yes---con artists--out there who make it a living to scam both innocent men and women.

    When a guy asks to see what you look like right away, many times he is reassuring himself On his end of the line, that You are Who you say you are, because he, like many of us who Are educated in knowing what can happen online, want to make sure we know who-----we are talking to.

    Also, don't feel intimidated if a guy you meet and could be a potential boyfriend in the future, wants a glimpse of you on Skype. It's the dishonest johns who you have to be careful of. They are the ones who don't want to be seen, just------heard.

    However, if you sent a pix and he stopped replying. One of two things may have happened. Perhaps he didn't find you his type. Maybe he wasn't thrilled with your answers. Maybe He got suspicious. It's hard to really figure them out sometimes. I have found often that online guys are a bit more "leery" than guys you find in your local pub. It has happened, where maybe instead, he changed his mind and is looking for something else that he can feel more at ease with, or is more his style. So no big deal. Just carry on.

    Or he could have "used the pix" for other purposes. Okay, suppose I am right. Another lesson. How Soon to Send a pix. I would strongly suggest, for I won't send Anything unless I know I am feeling real comfy with this character, which means "feeling him out a little longer" for my own liking. Tell him you would prefer it this way, and also You would like to see his pix as well. If he "hymns and haws" he is not worth your effort. And I have found some guys will lie about Not having an email address to send pix to. Probably on their guard as well.

    I am a bit confused here, because all of these dating sites give you an opportunity to supply many pix for the looking, so I don't see why anyone would really have to offer more than is needed at the moment. I think some guys feel, as probably girls, in some cases, that through Email, they catch you on the spot, and you should be ready Eddy with More up to date pix for their appetites.

    I hope this has helped you some, and has given you a little better insite to some of the "nature" of Those found on online dating sites. You meet all kinds after awhile. It then becomes---second nature.:))xx

    0|0
    0|0
  • I am a women and will not even speak with a man without a photo--99% of the time they are married or in a relationship and in 'hiding'. So that is a HUGE red flag that someone doesn't have a photo up-it usually means they are hiding something. So yep--gotta have a photo if you online date.

    0|2
    0|0
  • Are you serious? The first thing I'd want would be a mini clip introduction if I was in fact crazy enough to join a dating site. It's not about being shallow or superficial, it's about being smart and cautious online! You can't trust pictures these days, you could be and ugly old psycho man or something. If you don't even plan on showing a pic, don't even join such sites. It's retarded to expect people to trust everything you say behind a screen.

    0|1
    0|0
  • No it is expected I think, especially if you have seen his.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Not having a picture is sketchy

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...