What does text messaging an ex mean?

Please give me your analysis. I'll just hit the high points since I don't think every little detail is necessary.

We've dated in the past and the relationship ended a couple of years ago. I've dated since then, she's dated since then, and she is currently dating someone. We continue to text somewhat regularly (2-4 times a week) but very seldom about anything really serious. She never mentions her current boyfriend and I only found out she had one when I was curious and directly asked her. She's very attractive and also very "old school". Even when dating (like we've done in the past) she never initiates a text or call, but always responds. Needless to say, she now never initiates either. So, my delima is, is she responding to my text messages simply because she's being nice, or does she still hold a small spark for me? So, really my question is simple. Does a woman, if she's happy with her currently relationship, still keep in contact with an ex, even she she only responds and never initiates? Oh...and when she responds she does NOT just answer my texts, but will also ask me questions and things to keep the "conversation" going. Or...is she just being nice and because of our past just too shy to tell me to get lost?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmm I have never had a relationship break off easily but if this were the case I would stay in contact only with my ex if I cared about him and his life, but didn't have feelings towards him. I think I would still support him and help him out if he ever needed it but nothing more. I think she is just being nice. I wouldn't ask her about it though if she is dating someone else; I think that could be awkward for all three of you

    • Well, it wasn't exactly an easy break (there was some hurt feelings), but we've moved past it and both apologized.

      So...if my feelings for her are more than just friendship I should probably just stop communicating and move on if I want more than friendship? Hmmm...I honestly thing part of my problem is that because I have feelings for her I tend to read too much into things she says or does.

    • Well as long as she is with that guy than yea I would stop talking to her that way you can try to let your feelings go. I wouldn't try to talk about it cause it might make her uncomfortable. But if they do break up eventually and some time has passed then try again.


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What Girls Said 2

  • I'm still in contact with most of my significant exes. Even though things didn't work out love-wise, I still value their friendship. I'm also one of those people who doesn't often initiate messages. Usually friends message me and I message them back. It's only if I haven't heard from a friend in a while that I'll text first.

    • Do you usually wait for your female friends to message you before messaging them too, or is that just for your male friends (exes)? Just curious.

    • It's both.

  • That's me right now. I'm in a relationship, and still occasionally talk to my ex. And he texts me first. I care about him as an individual and so I don't mind still talking to him. We didn't break up for an bad reason so I have no reason to "hate" him or anything. And yes, I'm happy in my current relationship. But I care about my ex as well. He knows he can come to me if he ever needs to talk or rant or just have someone to talk to. I will always be that person for EVERYONE in my life.


What Guys Said 1

  • She is a nice person, and cares about people in general. That's what it sounds like to me anyway.