Why don't the lonely 'Nice guys' and 'Good men' ever get dating advice?

Instead of escaping to the internet whining about "women liking assholes", why don't they try to get advice from happily married men, seeing how they are the ones Good Men and Nice Guys who successfully found love? Or are the married guys also the assholes in their head?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm sure they are just more bitter then anything. I'm what you would call a nice person but I won't complain about girls liking guys that aren't so nice. Why? Well that is there choice and they must see something in said guy, a lot is looks odds are though because girls like guys that are good looking, lets be honest and guys that get a lot of attention from girls know they are good looking hence they can be arrogant, also have no problem finding another girl and have a lot of practice talking to girls so losing one is no big deal to them. Now that being said, not all good looking guys are like that but some are for sure but the ones that just use girls, known as bad boy's. Girls that look at things in more of a logical perspective normally don't fall for it, the kind of girls I like. Anyway, the guys that claim to be nice guys just are bitter because the girl isn't interested in them, they aren't attracted and they seem desperate so the girls completely reject them which I can't blame them there. I mean what if a so called nice girl who they weren't attracted to came up to them and they weren't interested, how would they act? Just kind of looks like a double standard to me. That is just paet of the problem, now I'm rambling and going off topic, lol. Sorry, but that is an issue I see with the whole "nice guy" and "bad boy" non sense.

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    • Thanks for Most helpful! Wasn't expecting that on this answer but I'll take it! : D

What Guys Said 7

  • From an evolutionary standpoint:

    a) Women are like used vehicles.

    b) Men are like bottles of wine.

    Their value changes inversely each year.

    In other words, there is no "advice." The playing field merely eventually stabilizes.

    Each year women lose a 'little' of what makes them valuable (Beauty).

    Each year man gains a 'little' of what makes them valuable (Sociological & financial resources, security, masculinity, power, status, competence, etc).

    How it tends to pan out:

    During a woman's youth - when she is valuable - her stock is the highest it will ever be.

    Among the bidding war she wants a "steal."

    However, in life, what you put in is what you get out.

    In other words, most women simply aren't valuable enough for a badboy to select her exclusively.

    Eventually the woman settles when:

    1) She's had enough psychological trauma

    2) Realization that the badboy cannot be tamed

    3) Must act swiftly before she passes her expiration date

    4) Nice guy finally attains classic male attributes

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    • That's why you see all those 60 year old guys walking around with 20 year old girls, majority of the time

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    • I was being a sarcy. You don't see a majority of really old men dating younger women, although I'm sure it's more noticeable.

      Any wise man knows you've already failed if you're trying to look for potential suitors with an expensive car. I've seen bums with amazing girlfriends I could only wish for. I think Jamie Dimon said it best in that if its a transaction as such, its just an old man looking for something temporary and a confused lady looking for a life.

    • I misunderstood you. The majority of women 'aren't' dating older men, that I agree. However, the majority of women react to the type of man I described.

      You misinterpreted my point. The sugar daddy is a different topic as opposed to underlying motivations in human animal behavior.

  • They do get dating advice. The reason they're always friend-zoned is because they make the mistake of following the advice. Mainstream dating advice, as well as the advice most women give, does more harm than good.

    For example, think of who is usually expected to make the first move - the man. "Nice guys", with their huge fear of negative judgement are afraid to make the first move in case they get rejected, are viewed as "creepy", cause offense etc. This is why they don't get laid/why they get friend zoned. Girls who might have even liked them get bored of them (because they're afraid to make a move also) and then they end up with a guy who did have the confidence to move things forwards.

    After all that, women advise them to be "friends first". To be more social. To make more friends. To forget all about getting a girlfriend and just get to know people, and it will work itself out. So they encourage him still not to make any moves.

    "How do I get out of the friend zone?"

    "Be friends with girls"

    It's fucking stupid advice lol, at least for a man.

    And then you have those girls who encourage guys to wait forever to have sex with them, and they say that they're tired of guys wanting to jump in bed with them, tired of guys using them etc. I went out with quite a few girls like that and waited as long as they wanted, never tried to have sex with them. Eventually, EVERY SINGLE ONE of them had sex with some other guy, one of the guys they complained so much about, and then told me that I was a really nice guy and that we should just be friends because they don't see me "in that way".

    That was me following the advice to the letter.

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  • Because Pick-up artists and guys who teach 'game' are the only people with good advice and both are demonised by women as rapists and assholes. Just be yourself (lol what bullshit) is the standard advice to these guys and unfortunately most of them don't have the social skills or confidence to actually communicate who they are.

    They whine about women liking assholes because the message that is pushed through the media is be nice to women - not nice in a strong way but nice in a supplicating way. When they see that being nice isn't working they get angry or confused because they don't understand that they've been lied to.

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    • The be yourself analogy you made isn't any good. I remember being a kid and thinking it was a stupid phrase, but it's not a literal meaning now is it. Same goes for "follow your heart".

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    • What i think is lost in translation they think JUST BEING NICE is ONLY important trait for a guy to have, which is dumb. Being nice is good but can't be boring, creepy, submissive, and a whole buttload of other flaws and expect to get a girlfriend.

    • Guess not, but it's not like the choice was obvious and they picked the wrong one. It's not knowing and social retardation all mashed into one.

  • If advice worked for every man and woman 100% everyone would be the same. If everyone was the same everyone would have a partner. If everyone had a partner no advice would be needed. If no advise was needed none would be given.

    Advise needs to be taken in from many angles. Not every woman will respond the same way and not every man can pull certain aspects of another man's personality off.

    What works for one man to find a bond with one woman does not mean that route will work for another man with another woman.

    This is the beauty of life.

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  • advice from married man is not always what I want to hear. Being the fact that he's married he'll adopt this superiority when it comes to dating and understanding women which is not necesarilly true. I'd rather ask female friends (even anonymous ones on internet) if I want to know what a woman thinks.

    But I'm not that kind that says jerks get the good women.

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  • They get TONS of advice.,

    They just ignore it, because the advice demands that they take some responsibility for their situation, and they prefer to claim it's everyone elses fault that they are single, especially the girls - because girls only like assholes.

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  • They do ask for help but more often than not the answer is "man up", "grow a pair" and other cliches that threaten their masculinity. Others tell them to "quit whining" . This is often valid, but the whining is only a symptom and the underlying problem (difficulties attracting women) is then overlooked as everyone starts nitpicking at the grammar, spelling or tone.

    Too many guys are looking for quick fixes. Some just want people to empathize with them. The right questions are almost never asked though too. Also when decent advice is given it is often very general. Some guys would like specific things to help change their behavior. "love yourself before loving someone else"or "work on yourself and the right girl will come along' are often too vague and ambiguous.

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What Girls Said 4

  • people take advice and look up to those who have the lives they want for themselves. "nice guys" probably don't want the stable committed love of 1 woman. they would rather be players and have a harem of girls at their disposal. they don't want a serious commitment, they want friends with benefits and casual relationships.

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  • Self-entitlement issue.They don't see themselves as a bad guy.So they think why bother to change?

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    • Women's self-entitlement issues are just as funny "Where have all the good men gone!" lol

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    • As one girl told me, girls want a player and nice guy in one individual. Those two can't live in one human being.

    • I'm getting sick of these archetypes guys like to make up. Clearly a guy can be nice, assertive, good-looking, AND faithful. It's not that hard. Clearly it isn't because there are a butt ton of great guys who have girlfriends or a wife.

  • I don't think no one looks at asker's profile before they share an opinion on a question.

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  • Some do.
    Everyone is different, of course, and there are some people who've landed here because they've exhausted all other avenues and feel they haven't gotten any real help yet. That's why they're here, and they're usually frustrated by then, haha!

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