What can I say/do to gain his trust back?

I was pretty indecisive about this guy who liked me because I knew he had a girlfriend he recently broke up with, and I wasn't sure he was over it. He wanted us to get to know each other, but I was always pulling away.

Now he's at the point where he doesn't trust my feelings for him (I took awhile before telling him I liked him, too), and I'm at the point where I'm ready to take a chance. He doesn't know his ex was a big reason I was acting the way I was, and I don't want him to think I was intimidated by her. I was just being cautious.

What can I say or do to prove that I'm not just playing games with him? He acts like he's still likes me, but in the end, he doesn't trust me. What can I do to rebuild that?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You tell him the truth. "I am sorry, I was holding back because I was being cautious, you just got out of a relationship and I didn't want to be a rebound. Please know that I do really like you and hope we can move forward. I am sorry I wasn't honest with you before".

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What Guys Said 3

  • Many guys don't take rejection very well. Your hesitation to say yes would make me question whether or not you really liked me, or just going along because "you have nobody else to date". If a guy senses this, he may not want to give you a chance anymore because he thinks its already a dead-end relationship based on the way you acted.

    The only real way to solve this is to tell him.
    Tell him you were hesitant because he was fresh out of a relationship. That you thought he needed some time to heal before moving on. And that you did not want to be "just a rebound". Most guys will understand that, since they've come across girls who are in the same reversed situation.

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  • Sounds like things are pretty complicated. How long ago was this?

    The easiest, most uncomplicated way is to simply start off from ground zero. Don't carry all the baggage and expectations and issues both of you had previously.

    Casually ask him out as if you were just mere acquaintances, colleagues or classmates. Don't assume the role of an ex-lover, it's too complicated.

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  • Tell him exactly why you were hesitant. If he's a good guy he'll understand and respect you for having morals and standards.

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What Girls Said 1

  • In this point in time, start Fresh, sweetie. And start off as Friends. I always feel This is the best way to Begin any relationship. It's healthier, gives two people a chance to know one another, and see where it might just end up.
    In this friend-zone planet, the "trust topic" can eventually be brought slowly into the zoning area, where there is a chance for a potential partnership in the future.
    The best way to get Started, is have a long talk with him. Explain to him: No more games. I always tell everyone that the lines of communication are very important in any new or old relationship.
    Once this happens, the nurturing, the "Rebuilding" can then begin your beguine.
    Good luck.. xx

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