How can I put myself out more?

So I will be 30 this year and still haven't been on a date, I can't seem to get any girl near my age to look or notice me.. When I do my work I only focus on my work and tune much of everything else out.. I'm not much to go out on weekends.. If I do it would be something outdoor in which I will go alone like going to a beach to catch the sunset. I have a friend who is trying to hook me up but it just feels so forced and I don't feel to keen on it.

And those singles groups, I've seen places like meetup. com and I hate to say most of the singles they are way older then I and so I would feel more out of place. Online dating is not for me...

I just don't know what to do


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you should start with NOT being so rigid. If you're not willing to step out of the box, then how will you EVER meet someone? I'm not sure if you live in a small city or large town, but you need to start with getting out more. Get some friends and go out a few times a week. And you can even do this on your OWN. Go to local coffee shops, book stores, comedy shows etc. Just don't sit at home expecting things to change.

    Work is one thing. but shutting yourself off so that you won't notice anything else is another. Be more AWARE. Next, online dating. Personally, I despise online dating as well, HOWEVER. i met quite a few guys that will always make for good stories because they were all hot messes. But more importantly, meeting them helped me to figure out what I wanted in a mate. And now I have an amazing boyfriend that embodies everything I was looking for.

    Watch your ENERGY. Meaning, if somewhere within you, you're starting to feel like the situation of you finding a date is hopeless, then it WILL be hopeless. But if you think positively about it, then you will have a better experience. But I think it is necessary that you step outside of your comfort zone that you have been in for years now. Do things you normally wouldn't! That's the spice of life and an opportunity for NEW experiences! Good luck.

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    • I've only become rigid as you say because of past experiences, and my town is small for CT but my friends they are pretty much in relationships so I'm not going to sit around and be a third wheel. I still feel uneasy about the online dating I know about how girls lie about how they look... I've seen that first hand.. was not a date but I met a friend in another state

What Girls Said 1

  • I am starting to see a lot of these postings. Most people aren't going out these days for some reason. I think that you will run into someone special when you least expect it. Maybe at a grocery store or something. But, why not give online dating a shot? If you are into outdoor activities, why not search for a meetup group that does outdoor gatherings like hiking, fishing, mountain climbing, golfing, etc?

    Good luck.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You have to change what you do if you desire a different outcome. IF everything you do is not successful, then you have to do the exact opposite of what you've done to this point.

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    • That's the issue I can't find anything.. I'm well liked and I can do for myself but it leads to nothing.

    • You have to be able to find women somewhere. Again, do things that you think are "not for you". Go out on the weekends, stop being so focused on your work, stop worrying about the age of people at meetup. com

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