Lying to avoid a fight. Is it ever okay?

So this guy and girl have been dating for a while. She has shown herself to be irrationally jealous and prone to massive fights. The guy forgives this because she's had some bad relationships and he reckons they are to blame. He has never cheated, and wouldn't cheat on the current girl either.

But even so... constant fighting and bickering is no picnic either. And while she is always contrite when proven wrong, she doesn't seem to be learning any lessons in the long term. She still flies off the handle at the least provocation.

Question : In times of high stress, when the guy really just wants to avoid yet another pointless argument, is it okay to lie to the girlfriend, if it will shut her up?

If not, why not?

(The sort of example I am thinking of... she asks where he's been... he knows that if he says he was at a bar, an argument will ensue. So he says he was somewhere else. There doesn't have to be anything relating to another girl in the story.)


Most Helpful Girl

  • Its nice that you are giving this girl a shot. However, if you lie to her and she is not stupid, it will get worse. She will feel more insecure in the relationship. You honestly need to point blank tell her that she can trust you and that the moment you want out, you will end the relationship and you won't cheat behind her back. Explain to her that if she doesn't cut you some slack you will end the relationship. Be firm, be a man and don't allow her fears and insecurities wreak havoc in the relationship. Also recommend her to go to therapy. If she doesn't get better, dont feel bad to leave. You also need to take care of yourself and not fuss with someone who is not able to handle her feelings.


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What Girls Said 2

  • i think that lying would give her more of a reason to not trust the guy. she has some major trust issues and if she finds out about the lies she might accuse the guy of things he didn't do as well

    • She already accuses him of things he didn't do, all the time. Did you not read the question?

    • Yes, I did read the question. You failed to mention the part where the girl always accuses the guy of things he didn't do. You may have implied it, but I don't make assumptions based off of implications especially online. Plus, if she is already making false accusations all the time, lying will be poisonous to the relationship. If she finds out about the guy's lies, it'll make her think that all those other times he was honest were lies as well.

  • Google PPD (paranoid personality disorder). My dad has it. It got worse with age. It ruined my childhood and my mother's life.


What Guys Said 1

  • For my gf and i we both made a rule saying even if it hurts one of us say it and talk about it. Its better trust me, you guys will talk about it and work on it. Better than lying to each other and not knowing whats happening. Like my gf told me the other day she smokes once in a while. I'm glad she told me rather than me catching her doing it you know? Do i like her smoking? hell no, is she working on it? Yes, for right now thats what matters.