Should I ask her out or do I need to give myself more time to get over my ex?

Ok so me and my ex broke up about 3 months ago, long story short she broke up with me because she wasn't feeling it anymore, she didn't really give me any real reason why she broke up with me she said I was a great guy and and awesome boyfriend and that I wouldn't have a problem finding anyone else but she just wasn't feeling it anymore... so anyways I've had a lot of time to think about things since we broke up, and ya I mean she's still on my mind a lot of the time but she doesn't cause me anymore pain, its like its just something thats there in my mind if that makes any sense. Well I met this girl at college the other day and she seemed really nice and Im interested in her! do you think it would be a good idea for me to ask her out on a date or see if she would want to do something? I just don't know if I should ask someone out when I still have thoughts of my ex, or is this something that is normal?


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's normal.

    If you're ready to dip your toe into the dating pool to see what happens, fine. One date won't hurt. If anything, it'll help gauge how ready you really are to start dating.

    Take however long you dated, and divide that by half. That time is a general guideline in which it takes someone to fully get over a relationship. So if you dated a year, it'd take 6 months to get over it.

    However, if you go on this date and find yourself having a hard time not thinking about your ex and you don't feel that you're ready to pursue something, then don't ask her out again. All too often there are a lot of people who selfishly date to get over problems. People treat dating as therapy. You know you and when you're up to moving into something else. Whatever you do, don't drag this out if you know you aren't emotionally ready. It wouldn't be fair to this girl in question.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Give it more time trust me i made that mistake before. Mean while you're getting over her get to know the new girl more. Dont rush. (:


What Guys Said 1

  • Never make someone else a casualty of an earlier loss :) Always better to be sure to have left your baggage behind or complete confidence you can control carrying it before you decide on carrying another. This goes well for both men & women. A new burden (metaphorically speaking) doesn't ease the former one but only creates a problem for the new one. Are you willing to take the additional burden of the possibility of leaving someone else in the same situation as you now or worse? :) - think and decide :)