When it comes to showing a guy you're interested, just HOW forward do you have to be?

i met this guy i really like. he asked me to his place for dinner and i **THINK** i may have said that i stopped dating because things got so complicated with expectations and mixed signals and all that stuff. we went on to have a great conversation about dating in today's world.
i asked him to join me out at a club both the next night and the night after that, so we spent a total of three straight nights out together.

i would think that me inviting him out two straight nights in a row would say "i like you" (along with the fact that i was dancing on him both nights) but maybe not?

guys out there... am i not being forward enough in letting him know i like him and that i'm open to dating him (and recover from saying i took myself off the dating market if i actually did say that)? what's a good way to still let him chase me (i know guys like that) but also say, "hey im into you and i wouldn't turn you down if you asked me out"?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "i would think that me inviting him out two straight nights in a row would say "i like you" (along with the fact that i was dancing on him both nights) but maybe not?"

    Ordinarily it might, but not when you prefixed it with the whole "I stopped dating" thing.

    "am i not being forward enough in letting him know i like him and that i'm open to dating him"

    No, you're not being forward enough.

    Let's reverse it for a bit. Suppose I said to you.. "I really can't stand blondes. I only ever date brunettes, and maybe a redhead if I'm feeling dangerous." And you're blonde. Would you think after three nights "Hey, maybe he's into me? Maybe that whole blonde thing was a line, a ruse, a lie? Or maybe I'm just so awesome I got him to change his mind?"

    I'm thinking you wouldn't. The blonde comment would weigh heavily on your mind.

    "say, "hey im into you and i wouldn't turn you down if you asked me out"?"
    That would do nicely. But most girls are too scared to be that direct.

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    • you're definitely right. is there a way for me to be less direct, but still let him know that i wouldn't turn him down? i know that guys (especially him) like to do the official asking out/pursuing girls. so is there a way for me to put it out there that i'm open to dating without taking away the "chase" guys like?

    • "is there a way for me to be less direct, but still let him know that i wouldn't turn him down?"

      Not really. You have to be as direct as when you said you weren't dating. You have to be clear in order to undo the clarity of your previous statement.

      Don't assume he likes the chase so much that he needs it.

What Guys Said 3

  • It sounds like you're being pretty open. How are you with physical contact on those dates? Are you grabbing his arm, holding his hand? Maybe say something like "I had a great time hanging out with you, hope we can do it again sometime." and leave it at that.

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    • in terms of dancing, there's definitely physical contact, lots of smiling and laughing. i always text to say i had a great time, and thanks for a fun night. but we've never been physically intimate (he never initiated a kiss or tried to) but next time, i'll be sure to take your advice!

  • Maybe you could text him along the lines of ' Hey thanks again for the fun nights together maybe we should make the next date a bit more quiet' this way u kinda sneak in that you wanted it to be dates

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  • Well if youre saying goodbye or something, just squeeze his arms or something! That should show you care!

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What Girls Said 2

  • Just say, "I like you, want to go on an official date?"

    Some men and women are stupid. You be the master of sexual charades, and they STILL won't get it, even if a neon sign is hanging over your head.

    Then you have the men and women who are really stupid. They date EVERYTHING you do as a sexual signal that you want them to jump on it, even if you were simply blowing your nose.

    It's best to be blunt and direct. You can be cute and flirty on top of that. But beating around the bush and acting like a mime usually just wastes time.

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  • In my opinion, I think that you did enough... If he doesn't get it, then I don't know what else is going to draw him in. He might just think that you would like to be hang out buddies etc. Take a chance go out on a date with him.. especially if you are interested in him..

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