Am I being too girlish as far as relationships are concerned or are there girls who have the same opinion on relationships.?

Lately I've been wondering if I should still continue or change something about my personality.

I know I'm a good looking guy (I've been told lots of time) and I do act like a man should, however I'm only 5'9'' which is a pain in the ass since it is too small in my opinion, but I've learned to live with it.
Anyway, I don't let others order me around unless they are my boss or other higher ups. I work out from time to time whereas I'm not the cliché musclehead without brain. At the moment I'm student and work at a university.

So far I've seen romantic relationships as a bond with a cool girl I really like and with whom I can have lots of fun.
My problem is that I'm not the kind of guy who goes out, e. g. a night club and get a girl for a one-night-stand. I'm more of a guy that wants something longer.

For example: At the moment there is this particular girl I like quite a lot. I went out with her already and we had a great time dancing and getting to know each other a little bit. We didn't kiss that night but I probably could have, however I didn't have the guts to do so. I don't know how or why my brain works this way but now I wanna have a movie night with her and she already agreed to it. I was imagining myself lying in bed with her, holding hands and cuddling, while watching one or more movies. However I keep thinking that this might be too girlish and I should do something more masculine.

Does anyone have thoughts on this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "I'm only 5'9'' which is a pain in the ass since it is too small in my opinion, but I've learned to live with it."

    If I see one more guy say that 5'9" is short, ugh... I'm 5'4" and I have no trouble. Being insecure about it will do you no favours.

    "We didn't kiss that night but I probably could have, however I didn't have the guts to do so. I don't know how or why my brain works this way but now I wanna have a movie night with her and she already agreed to it. I was imagining myself lying in bed with her, holding hands and cuddling, while watching one or more movies. However I keep thinking that this might be too girlish and I should do something more masculine."

    Your problem is that you're too passive, and yes that does sound girly. You should have kissed her. Girls give you a window of opportunity to make a move - usually non-verbally. It's your job to pick these non-verbal signals up and make the move. If you don't, the girl will either think you're uninterested, or she'll get bored, and she'll move on. Make sure you kiss her on the next date or it's likely she'll give you the "lets just be friends" speech.

    You've got it backwards on the cuddling in bed thing. Most guys think that it goes in the order of affection - sex. It's the opposite. Girls fall for guys they sleep with quickly. This is why they constantly complain about "jerks" - the "jerks" sleep with them and then don't want relationships, and that pisses the girls off because they obviously like them a lot. And then you get the girls who say they find nice guys (like yourself) boring, because you got it backwards. I used to be the typical "nice guy", I'd wait as long as a girl wanted, do all the romantic stuff etc. All of them told me "lets just be friends". Once I started having sex with girls quickly on the first and second dates? Almost all of them became much more interested in me.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It's a super cute idea for sure but may be too much for your second date, and you may want to save for later on down the line if you get into a relationship. It is not a girly idea, just kinda fast. That said, it totally depends on the type of girl that she is and what she is into. Personally I wouldn't be too keen on sitting in a guy's bed on our second date. So maybe you can find some food and drinks that she really likes and pick those up to have that movie night on your couch. Couch is way less threatening and sounds like a fun date to me!!! There are some girls out there who just wanna go out... I know a girl, who is pretty shallow, that would probably think you're cheap if you asked her to come over instead of go out to watch a movie.

    Talk to her and get a feel for what se is comfortable with. But to answer your main question again, it's not too girly. It's very sweet, but a little forward. Good luck :)

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  • Dont change anything. Guys like you are hard to come across these days and it's a very good thing. Its not girly its being sensitive. Keep being yourself, but do have the courage to kiss the girl! Good luck!

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What Guys Said 1

  • 5'9 is short to you?

    Well get ready to take advice from a guy that's 5'7.

    In the words of Kevin Hart, "Do you boo boo." Who gives a damn what anyone thinks about you wanting to cuddle, it's human nature to want to warm up next to someone and be held like your mom held you as a baby. None of this is girly, be proud of the fact that you have the humility and want to find the "girl next door" already at this point in your life. Everything you wrote are things I would do and how I feel, don't let anyone tell you what you want isn't right for you.

    The only downside to this is that most women our age aren't really looking for this in guys, yet. Being GenY, the females of our generation are more independent and would much rather enjoy their younger years doing things they will never be able to so. Such as use their looks for free liquor and the spontaneity of being in college.

    Be patient and someone great will come along, but don't be afraid to be yourself with them.

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