How in the world do you meet eligible men?

I have tried online dating several times with no good results, so that is a no go. The majority of men at work are married or dating other people there. Sadly I go to a huge church, but hardly any men my age are single. At the gym most of the men are married as well. I think I am finally at an age it's just too hard to meet a man.

Updates:
Well thanks to the last couple people now that I know I will never find anyone as I am apparently repulsive at the age of 31 I just give up completely. It's not worth it. I am so miserable and lonely as it is, might as well get a cat.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, it depends on what you mean by eligible. If you want a reasonably OK guy who's single, it shouldn't be very hard to find one.

    I don't know what sites you've been using. I haven't heard of that problem, I must admit.

    "I think I am finally at an age it's just too hard to meet a man." Well, yeah, it definitely gets harder for a woman the older she gets. It's not politically correct to say it but it's no secret that the prime time for a woman to land a good man, especially a husband, is her early twenties. From that time onwards, your main strengths as a woman start to wane.

    BUT having read what you've written, I get the feeling that you're quite an aware, rational woman, which is a good thing. If I'm right about your personality, that's something you should really show in order to draw men to you.

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    • Oh men have no idea how hard it is to fnd a reasonably ok guy. At this point I am ok with settling and I can't even find one for that.

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    • Yeah once again not really In fact with Wil Arnett I used to think he was hideous, but he was the best example off the top of my head.

    • Which using at least one, but more like two a year for 6 years got me zero actual dates. Lots of contact, but the guys always flaked last minute or stood me up.

What Guys Said 10

  • This answer will probably get a lot of hate but the problem is you are past your prime and are looking to date men in their prime. It gets harder after 30 for women, since all the decent men are either attractive enough to date younger women or already taken. Not only are less men interested in you than they were 5-10 years ago but more women are interested in those men than 5-10 years ago. qph.is.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-45599928a2f3e4793909a177423fedc7

    Either aim older or aim lower.

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    • So basically what I am getting is to be married I have to find a guy that is almost twice my age, move to another country, or just give up completely. I don't know why I continue to live.

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    • No just enough men tell me how I am worthless and every one on here feels the same so what is the use?

    • +1 This answer won't get hate from me as this is exactly why I call cowsh*t and bullsh*t when guys whine about how gals have it easier dating wise.

  • Wow, where do you live? Everywhere I go I see guys. A lot of couples, a lot of single guys, very few single females. But then again I live in Man Diego.

    The company where I work is 80+% male. If I go to a bar or club to find a ratio of 60% male is a good night.

    Maybe it is time to try online; the numbers I mention above are about the same there.

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    • According to the 2012 census it's 49.7% women. Man Diego?

    • There is a large number of retirees in San Diego. Women tend to live about five years longer than men. So your stat isn't very meaningful. There is a lot of military in the area as well, which tends to be predominantly male and 18-40. So I would expect the proportion of females in the 18-40 range to be considerably lower than the figure you give.

  • Uhmmm, I could say I'm in the same situation... but I think if you're looking for a mate that desperate, you'll never going to find it. Just focus on yourself. Once you feel complete and happy about your self and aslo feel calm in mind, you'll attract your perfect match. Dont rush it. Be happy, smile and be sexy.

    For example, at my gym, Im in love with like 2 girls, but they look so centered in their role and happy that I hesitate in making my move LOL.. that and the fact that Im kinda shy.

    GL and be patient

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    • Easy to say. My last date was in 2011.

    • Maybe its the energy you send to others.. ? Have really thought of: Do I make enough contact with strangers, smile, being gentle. That helps a lot.

      Lots of people are scared or feel uncomfortable with giving a smile and a couple of seconds of eye contact to strangers. I know its hard at the beginning, but you'll get at leat 7/10 smiles back. By doing that you're just letting people know you are kind and open to stablish a random encounter :) practice it

    • No I've been asked out, but the guy always flakes out on me.

  • I think u need a chafe in ur routine. Online, work, and church. Those are the words I saw first. Gotta spice it up a little. Most married men have single friends, most cities organize a singles night where both parties are involved with every activity. You g o to the gym so im sure ur attractive but its more then that. U have to be inviting. U have to have the look that says hell yeah I wanna talk, and not the one who says get the hell away. And im not talking about clothes hair or any of that im talking body language. Hope this helps

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    • Yeah honestly I don't know anyone that I would want me setting them up with their friends (does that sound odd). And I wish I was attractive. I just have a condition that makes gaining weight easy and losing it near impossible. I consider a week I don't gain a small victory. And the "singles" nights here are hosted at hourly hotels shall I say.

  • Sporting events, concerts, Bars (-_-), Comedy clubs, boat and fishing exhibits, starbucks, grocery store, also depends on where you live. Where do you live?

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    • Small town America near the mountains, hence the not stupid. As for sports, boats, and fishing none of that appeals to me EVER. Most concerts around here are in bars and I don;t do bar flies as they can be super skanky here (as in they probably have multiple diseases) and what's a comedy club?

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    • Are there still book stores? All the ones around here closed. And what is a science expo? I don't think we have any of those. Or a hardware store we have Home Depot?

    • you serious? Where the hell you live, in a dump?

  • I would try okcupid. I've heard good things and I like the layout and questions.

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    • Yeah I just dont like having my pic out there for EVERYONE to see., I know a LOT of peope and that can get awkward.

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    • Be clear you're bit looking for a friends with benefits . But if a guy is calling you a nympho and meaning it negatively - you have your answer. He's low drive.

    • Truly I only bring it up early because I want a man that is going to want me as often as I want him. But seems when I say I like it once a day the guy either gets turned off or goes from wanting a date to a friends with benefits out of nowhere. .

  • Well, there is a mind spectrum for every person. First of all, you have to find the spectrum range of you. Afterwards, you can see who lies in that range in your rhizosphere.

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  • We're in hiding, you'll never find us. (;

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  • Most eligible men are in basements in homes in Massachusetts eating junk food, fapping to pictures of Jessica Simpson, popping pimples and bashing Obama on YouTube.

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  • Do you have something to offer a man also? I don't want to come off as rude please take no offense to this but a lot of women expect a great man with great qualities but have little to offer him. Maybe you have a lot to offer I'm just putting that out there.

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    • hmm, I can cook better than his momma, I m more than happy to bear and care for his children, I carry my own weight financially, I am far frm materialistic, and I give it up on demand once we start having sex.

    • It sounds like you may have high standards for looks.

    • Not really if yoou read below

What Girls Said 3

  • How in the world do you meet eligible men?
    Depends on what you mean by eligible if you like it seems most gals mean an attractive, interesting, appealing, sexually compatible guy your age to settle down with/marry then it's probably suited to seek outside of America preferrably Europe or date older guys such as 40s and 50s. I find most American guys tend to be a bit unrealistic in their standards, don't desire/seek marriage, and tend to be much more geared to having a (much) younger partner.

    " I think I am finally at an age it's just too hard to meet a man."
    I think you are correct at least for America as I find past 30 a gal tends to be dismissed by guys her own age and if she wants a guy her chances are better if she seeks older guys 40s+.
    In my opinion the suited age for guys is the early 20s though to me it's ironic how it seems very few guys at that age are interested in committed monogamous relationships much less being a potential husband (hence why I call cowsh*t and bullsh*t when guys whine about how gals have it easier dating wise).

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    • guys in their thirties plus a partner, eight to ten years younger than them

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    • @COCOCHANEL
      " i guess i'm too visual or something"... it's a bit curious to me how the gals I'd considered more visual than average tend to prefer guys their age when young or younger guys. It seems youth is an appeal to both genders when they are visual.

      "i still don't care but i don't want someone to put me in debt and ask me to work at a gentlemen's club."
      Then it seems you may sacrifice on the visual appeal of a guy if you won't sacrifice on financial. Or just remain single.

    • i don't care about age so much as i find myself attracted to a youthful face and spirit. for the last few years i seem to choose younger and younger. my current boyfriend is 6 years younger. love him to pieces.

  • i don't know, they select me. makes it easier.

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    • Thanks that is SO helpful

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    • Asker, if you want to increase the chances of finding a guy, get a dog. More guys like dogs than cats. Preferably a lab or something, not a little yippy thing.

      And coco, I have found women in a lot of other countries to much more approachable than here in the USA. In Europe I was hit on by girls much more than here.

      And no, it wasn't in the alleys of Amsterdam.

    • don't listen to him, asker. the best men appreciate intelligence and therefore prefer cats.

  • Once you define what you're looking for, i'm sure it won't be that hard. if eligible men means to you: financially able, emotionally stable, reasonably good looking or have a good job, and in their mid thirties. There are probably very few around.

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    • Nope just at least 24, reasonably attractive, employed in some way, have an actual car, and not an idiot. Preferably not living at home.

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    • Oh yeah I was reading Eternallylucky's info. Yeah I don't see why that isn't most guys. The hard thing would be finding someone you really want to be around though.

    • I can't find anyone that wants to be around me though. And honestly I am one of the most chill grls you will ever meet (I even encourage a weekly guys night so I can have a girls night). I can be girly and tomboy so they get the best of both worlds.

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