Why is it that all the annoying, crazy, bitchy, controlling girlfriends have the longest relationships?

I seriously don't understand. Not to be conceded but I'm a pretty good girlfriend, like I don't take him away from his friends, I don't tell him what to do, I never yell at him or get pissed at him, I'm understanding, I don't cry constantly, I don't tell him not to smoke, drink, or party (even thou he doesn't really party) I don't freak out when he speaks to another girl, I don't make him text me all damn day, i don't force him to do what he doesn't want to, I don't make him take me on dates, I'm not controlling at all I let him live his life cuz I know I don't want to be nagged at and told what to do so why would I do that to him. I wouldn't want to be told I'm doing wrong all the time it would get so annoying and I wouldn't think guys would like that either. But a lot of other girls I know are crazy and they have boyfriends for years and guys complain about them but say well I love her so I deal with it but for some reason guys get bored of me and I never have a guy "love me so they stick with me no matter what" like those crazy girls. Like some girls I know make them text them all day, they don't let them talk to girls or they freak out, they're pms crazy, don't let them hang with their friends, tell them what to do, get mad, are annoying, constantly bitching, don't let them party, make them write them long messages on why the guy likes her but they manage to keep a boyfriend for years!!! Like why do guys always end up leaving me, I'm not that bad of a girlfriend. I just don't understand! Does being controlling and crazy make the relationship last or something?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Some guys are drama addicts and the tougher the relationship is for them, the better. I think it keeps them entertained and it keeps them from getting bored. Boredom is lethal to any relationship and well being an obnoxious self absorbed diva will assure you of having him around in your life vs. mousy let me please you all the time.

    Another thing is that there are many men who want the woman to lead in the relationship and if the woman doesn't take a leadership role they dont stay with that woman. Problem is with some women, myself included, I loose interest in a guy when I take control. So yeah... I could have a relationship with a pushover but I rather not.

    Does that make sense?

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    • Yeah that makes sense I thought about that to and I think that's what it is

    • Show All
    • I don't think either should be in control. I don't think that's fair and that's not a healthy relationship. I think the relationship should be mutual. I don't think anyone should be told what to do. I think it's okay to say things that you want them to change, fix , or do but you shouldn't be controlling about it. If they don't do it (if reasonable) then you should communicate about it and understand each other's point of view.

    • In a relationship someone has to have their wits on to make the relationship work. Someone has to lead and so far I haven't met the first couple that is on a 50/50 basis. It's literally impossible and answering underdriven control can be shared and couples can take responsibility for different things but I still stand strong that someone has to lead in the relationship and it's usually the woman.

What Guys Said 3

  • People are different. Some people are happy with a stable relationship. Others are happier pursuing or being pursued. Pursuing involves overcoming a challenge, while being pursued implies a position of power. Some people only want what they cannot get--and actually getting something implies that it wasn't worth it in the first place...

    Having said that, I doubt that "all the annoying, crazy, bitchy, controlling girlfriends have the longest relationships." It may seem that way to you, but I would guess that the majority of "ACBC girlfriends" actually have many short-term relationships. Maybe once in a while they find someone who is willing to put up with their antics for a longer period, and then they take advantage of it. However, it could also be that a strategy of keeping a guy pursuing for a long time is more likely to result in him falling in love...

    As for your situation, it may be that guys know they've "got you" fairly early in the relationship (meaning that the relationship is no longer in the pursuit phase). If it is true that a longer pursuit phase means it is more likely for a guy to fall in love, then the shorter pursuit phase in your case allows them to "get off the hook" prior to developing full attachment. However, this is just a theory--I'm not advising you to become an "ACBC" person to test it. Also, as I've implied, it could require going through many boyfriends before you find one who is willing to put up with that behavior long enough to fall in love. Just look for a guy who appreciates you for who you are, and who is happy with a stable relationship. The one problem you may have is that at your age a stable relationship may not be a top priority for many guys--in a few years that should change. For now it may be that the "extended pursuit phase" strategy is the best way to keep some 18-24 year-old guys interested, but that won't last (and those relationships probably won't last either)...

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    • This makes sense, thank you

  • I. Would. Hate. That. So. FREAKING. Much.

    I couldn't live with a chick nagging like that all the time. I couldn't do it! Absolutely not. You are just fine. Stay the way you are. There are plenty of women in the world to be annoying all the time; we don't need any more. We need more, less spazzy, women like you if you ask me. To me, it just seems to me that you're yet to find the right guy.

    Maybe the guys you know just... get off on being dictated all the time... I don't know ... :/ Very strange, but then again, I don't go asking dudes if they like their woman bossing them around. I personally don't like having a one-sided relationship like that. The... "control" should be balanced between the two. It's a MUTUAL partnership, not a parasitic relationship... hehe, no... Anyway, if a guy likes being bossed around, then he's not the guy for you, and don't you DARE change yourself for the sake of a weakling! :)

    Best wishes,
    *** ***** "funfunfun"

    lol

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  • "Why is it that all the annoying, crazy, bitchy, controlling girlfriends have the longest relationships?"

    In my experience just the opposite is true. No likes a annoying, crazy, bitchy, controlling woman. No one.

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What Girls Said 4

  • the length of a relationship doesn't = the health or productiveness of a relationship. You shouldn't strive to have what two crazy people have.

    The crazy controlling girlfriend is the male equivalent of the =bad boyfriend.

    People who have dramatic, and unstable relationships aren't people to be envied.

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  • I've noticed this too! It seems like the most mean-spirited, innately nasty, b*tchy females who lack consideration and tact when dealing with their men often get some of the best guys and/or stay in the longest relationships. My guess is; she puts it down in the bedroom and he's foolish enough to let good sex substitute well rounded respect.

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  • I know exactly what you mean. I'm the same and every guy becomes bored with me within the first few months

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  • I consider this accurately true as well and it sucks /:

    I guess the guys never get bored of girls like that and they like how the girl is supposedly "real" and more blunt about things..

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