Girl I like, might be loosing interest, we haven't kissed or held hands after 2 dates?

So I met this girl online, talked for a week, went out had a amazing first, got her flowers never stopped talking. She left for a week to take her BAR exam, gave her space, started talking again the week she came back. Went out again, had a great date we both admit we had a lot of fun that night. but I feel like I missed not making a move. Now when I talk to her she's talking less, we are suppose to go out again this Sat. I've always planned to make my move on the 3rd date. I just didn't wanna jump her bones on the 2nd date cuz we had not seen each other in 2 weeks, I think it would have been weird. I really like her and respect her to much for that. I just wanted to wait for the 3rd date, but with the flow of convo this week I don't know if that will happen. At this point the only thing I can think of is to give her space until asking her out for the 3rd date. Im a little confused and worried, any advice or opinions would be great TY

Any girls out there with a opinion. Would like to hear from both side of the filed TY everyone for your time.
by the way I know its prob a bad idea, but dose anyone think I should explain myself to her?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I know you asked for female advice dude but they're not going to help. They're going to be nice to you, well, most of them... and just tell you what you want to hear. Some women are straight up and are going to tell you the following:

    Kick back. You're doing well, give space, you're on the right track. Don't explain anything to anybody- that's indicative of weakness. Just ask her out and finally make your move; in all honesty you should have kissed her on the second date because the timing would have been perfect.

    it's great that you respect her and whatever else but you have to respect yourself too. You have to let her know that you're there, you have to have a presence. If you're too busy holding back and "respecting" her then it just looks like you're uninterested and the flirtation level goes down... dopamine levels drop... lol.


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What Girls Said 2

  • If u really like her don't u think she's worth more than 3 dates before having sex? With her being "distant" give her time, she just got back from taking a really difficult exam and u may not be her top priority Right now.

    • she got back from her trip last week, we went out this past weekend, she's fine, she's cacthing up on work and going to her gym agian like norm. But I do think she is worth more than 3 dates before having sex. I would wait how ever long I have to for this girl. I just think she's acting diff this week, and its cuz I haven't made a move. But I do plan to kiss her on the 3rd date, or she will start thinking im gay or not interested which is soo not true

    • Well u can be affectionate without introducing sex. And this is probably your best bet on showing her that Ur assertive and not aggressive.

  • The 2nd date would have been great to try to make a move. The 2nd date, in my opinion, is the most important because it pretty much shows you if the person is actually interested. Meaning, if the girl is still really laid-back or not talking, just as the first date and not showing interest, nine times out of ten she probably isn't and it might just be using you.
    I honestly think that you waited a little too long to make a move. I know you have a lot of respect for this young lady, but it's her turn to show you that she's interested as well. Just play it cool from this point on and see if she contacts you.
    Do you think that she is dating other people?

    • yeah nah its over we already talked, she just told me sat not on anymore randomly, Sunday and Monday were fine, everything went down hill after that. Yeah I was competing with a few other people, I did make a great impression, but because of hesitation on second date, overall mood killed. wished each other the best nothing else I can do

    • Sorry to hear this didn't work out for you. There are other beautiful women out here. Take care and good luck.

What Guys Said 5

  • She may still be interested but she may think that YOU lost interest. She may be used to guys going for a kiss on the first or second date so maybe you caught her by surprise, or maybe you confused her entirely. Could be that she was expecting a kiss but it just didn't happen, so it could potentially look like you're not interested in her. I don't think all is lost, nor do I think your situation is hopeless. Maybe you should go for the kiss on your next date?

  • Why would it be disrespectful to try for a kiss?

    • its not, I had every intention to kiss her or hold her hand o and stuff that night, I had 3 goals and I only did one of them, which was to pick her up at her house. There was never a pause or break when we finally were alone we just kept talking, then its like oh we here at your house, Hug and kiss on cheek. by the time we got out of the restaurant it was 3 in morning, couldnt go threw my plan to take her somewhere quite in private like the beach. I just ment it that I didn't wanna try anything to soon or to fast after I just saw her agian after a long break, but some people might not even think that was a long break.

    • Who knows. I wouldn't obsess about how chatty she is this week, don't go silent, but don't push it, ask her out again, and see how things go.

  • You waited too long to make the move - she is now thinking that you're not attracted to her.

    I don't think *you* can recover from this. (I think a normal man wouldn't have gotten into this situation in the first place.) But if you stand any chance at all, you'd better do it by completely changing your approach to women - stop respecting them as chaste angelic beings and start respecting them as sexually attractive and vital young women.

  • No. Don't explain.

    She is an intelligent woman if she's doing Bar exams. I would suspect she doesn't want to rush things. Keep things fun and light and see where it goes. Work is hard for everyone so give her a chance to unwind.

    Next time you're talking with her and she laughs pay her a compliment to make sure she knows you want her as more than a friend though. No need to rush bases.

  • I don't think that all is lost yet. The fact that she agreed to go on a third date with you says a lot. Although, I do believe that this is your last chance to make you move and kiss her. If you don't kiss her this time, you might not get a 4th date with her.

    • She did agree and we are still talking just haven't made the plans yet. But its like u talk to a girl almost everyday for weeks , u noticed when the girl starts talking a little less, usually Im the first person to over think or stress out on stuff when there's no real problem, but I haven't really felt that way until now, cuz everything was flowing and going smooth and correctly if u get me. but Im not dumb I just have a gut feeling, that her feelings are waning unless I take action, Pretty much I just dont know how to deal with this week, her less communcation is throwing my game off and making me question myself and how things have been going. but like I said everything been going great the first 2 dates were amazing. I've been out with 5 diff girls in the past month, she's the only one I asked for second date, and the only one I took seriously, so I can tell at this point a good date from a bad I think.

    • Make those plans my friend. Don't let it get in your head that she's losing interest. Maybe she is just having a busy work week. Plus, after you talk a lot up front and go over all the usual things of getting to know someone, I think it is normal for the conversation frequency or length to drop a bit.