Talking to my ex again, I started it horrible, am I still pushing her away?

I drunk messaged her on FB last Friday . We hadn't talked to each other since Nov. We were engaged, I seen some stuff dealing with another guy, and I left, I ran away. I regret that I was a coward, and ran away. Months after we split is pretty much just a blur, but I remember, begging, promising to change, all the wrong stuff.

I love this woman. I was so desperate because I didn't want to lose her.

There was a lot of pain, for both of us, we both did a lot.

I was working overnight, street sweeping job, and going to college full time. I would also try to do side jobs when I could because I wanted to be able to take her out places and buy her things. However, I would make her wake me up whenever she was home so I could spend time with her.

I remember working Friday night, having to go to class Saturday morning till 12, then having to go back to work Saturday, Sundays my homework assignments are due of the week, so I would have to do that Sunday.

after doing this for almost 6 months, I slowy became a dick to her about everything. I didn't realize what I was doing at the time, I felt depressed, didn't have interest in sex.

She said I didn't make her feel beautiful, because it felt like I didn't want her to touch me.

I found out She was cheating, and when I found out I ran. I felt like I had to break up with her.

We broke up...10 days from now, last year...

When we have been talking this time, I felt like she wants me, so I wrote like a letter and sent it to her. I asked her if she still felt the same about us. She said "What do you mean how do I feel about us?"

I said, "I mean I don't know if you hate, annoyed by me, sometimes it feels like you like me, it's just wishful thinking I guess, like hearing your phone ring when it really didn't
I know I can't just swoop back, that's not what I was thinking about, I just like hearing your thoughts."

Updates:
She talked tonight, small talk at first, we were talking and she mentioned she was alone all the time because she works mids, he closes... I jokingly said I spent too much time with her, she asked what I meant, I said even when I worked overnights
I rathered spent time with you then sleeping, but whenever I was awake I was an ass hole. She sent back "Lol oops;)" I said huh? and she said "No sleep made you mean to me" I said "it did, I should have just slept she said "I love sleep".. NC

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Just keep up the small talk and just let her know your sorry and want her back and that you will be there for her and that you have her back through anything

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What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 1

  • That sounds like a hard situation. What I would do is just keep up the small conversations and see how things work out. Good luck.

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