Does this mean I am a commitment phobe?

If I don't get those anxious butterflies from a guy right away or think he's perfect, I tend to be dismissive.

I sometimes look for excuses to back out or nope that the guy won't call etc.

I want a relationship but I sometimes feel hesitant about getting into one or if I meet potential guys I partially wish they will not pursue me or be interested in me. The only guys who make me want them are the ones who play with my head and give me flutters in my stomach.

Why is this? Is the secretly hoping it won't work out and looking for flaws a sign of commitment phobia?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • everyone's romantic orientation is different and that's ok , and we aren't really talking about sexual orientation. Romantic orientation is more about how you experience love. Here are some of them that I found on the internet and what they are. You might be Aromantic.

    Aromantic: lack of romantic attraction towards anyone
    Biromantic: romantic attraction towards person (s) of the same gender and of different genders
    Heteroromantic: romantic attraction towards person (s) of different genders
    Homoromantic: romantic attraction towards person (s) of the same gender
    Panromantic: romantic attraction to person (s) of any gender
    Androromantic: romantic attraction to person (s) who identify as male
    Gynoromantic: romantic attraction to person (s) who identify as female
    Transromantic: romantic attraction to person (s) who are transgender
    Demiromantic: romantic attraction to person (s) only after an emotional (though not necessarily romantic) connection is formed.

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What Guys Said 1

  • this is just a stab in the dark, but how is your self esteem? wanting a relationship, but not giving it a fair go can be an indicator that for some reason you dont feel like you deserve something good, and if you only want the guys that play with your head, then this too sorta points towards there being a few unresolved issues there somewhere.

    but yeah, i think there is something there that is manifesting in what looks to be some sort of commitment phobia.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Does this mean I am a commitment phobe?
    Not in my opinion as I find most gals are dismissive of guys they don't have chemistry/attraction to and tend to be interested in guys that give them intense feelings.

    Is the secretly hoping it won't work out and looking for flaws a sign of commitment phobia?
    Not if this hope and looking for flaws is limited to the guys that you are dismissive with because they don't give you anxious butterflies or you don't think they're perfect.

    "The only guys who make me want them are the ones who play with my head and give me flutters in my stomach. "
    Probably because playing with your head is also playing on your emotions so you get some intense reactive feelings that you perceive as passion/excitement/a rush.

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  • Yes of course

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