Should I initiate contact or wait?

I've been talking to this guy every day online, we are both only a few months out of a relationship. He said he will be honest with me and said he is seeing other people, by that he meant sleeping with them, he said he could of told me what I wanted to hear but just wanted to be honest with me. He was in a very long relationship and said he is trying out being single and friends with benefits with people but doesn't overly like it. I didn't feel overly happy about what he told me though and felt like I didn't want to meet him anymore. We had a big talk and he said he would really like to meet me even if it's just as friends, he doesn't expect anything from me. We spoke on the phone for hours, then the next day spoke briefly online. The last message he sent me was the thumbs up symbol on Facebook lol. We had talked about meeting up over the weekend but I haven't heard anything from him and now the weekend is over :(.

He had told me he felt it was weird but that he liked me. I'm pretty sure I know which girl he is sleeping with and hanging out with and I feel like I wouldn't want to compete anyway but I really want to meet him. I'm worried I've annoyed him or he just isn't interested all the sudden anymore.. Should I keep waiting around for a message? I don't want to seem like I'm chasing him either ( it's been 2 days since we've spoken so I guess that's not showing I'm chasing)


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What Guys Said 1

  • 2 days isn't extreme. That's all.

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    • I never said it wasn't extreme but we had talked about meeting up.. and I don't want to contact him first looking like I might be chasing him after 2 days

What Girls Said 1

  • Hmmm... i know you want to meet up with him... HOWEVER, I see it as "chasing" him if you're trying to get romantically involved with him. But you guys are trying to be friends right? Because of all of the other chicks in the picture, yes? So to me, messaging him wouldn't be chasing him because you are JUST... friends.

    Should you message him though? I'm not a fan of people saying they are going to do something, and then they blow you off. NOT cool. Frankly, its disrespect. If I were you, I wouldn't message him because I don't like being disrespected regardless of how much I like someone.

    You mentioned that you think that maybe you annoyed him, but i don't see how that's possible. It sounds like you're just trying to find reasons for his behavior by blaming yourself... thats not cool either. If I were you, I would shift my energy to someone else who is available for friendship and whatever else. Good luck.

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    • Thanks, well I had said when do you want to meet and he said Sunday? and I said yeh maybe Sunday and he said we will work something out. And I guess we didn't and haven't heard from him. He had commented on my status after messaging but that's about it and haven't heard from him since. So I'm a bit confused, he either forgot or I feel if he really wanted to meet me he would of. The only reason he mentioned being friends to me is because I said I was afraid that I would end up liking him and then while he is experiencing other girls, he had said I could end up stop seeing them for you, who knows but I know I want to meet you, maybe it can just be as friends. Either way I'm confused now..:(

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    • He didn't blow me off he just said he's been really busy. I don't know what to think and he does work very long hours too

    • If someone says lets hang out over the weekend and then doesn't get back to you about it, in my mind... thats blowing someone off. And now you ask him about his next week, and he is too busy to give you a proper time, equals SHADY in my book. And now you're finding excuses like he has long work hours. Haha, girl please. If someone wants to spend time with you, they will make it happen. Anyway, I've said all I have to say... good luck.

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