He still goes on the dating site?

I've been talking to a guy I really like for about 2 months now. We met on a dating site. We've met up and he contacts me everyday, compliments me lots, we've had lots of deep conversations, etc. We have lots in common. I was under the impression that he really liked me, too. One day he actually asked me if I still went on the site and I said not really, and he said he doesn't go on it very much either.
Then today I checked my email for the first time in forever and it's full of emails from the dating site (I haven't been on it in forever) so I decided to delete my account. I get on there and see that he has been active on the site TODAY! After he told me that he "rarely ever goes on there anymore" and after telling me he really likes me, etc. I could understand if we had only been talking for a few weeks but it's been more than 2 months. I feel like if he REALLY liked me, he wouldn't feel like going on there, and I feel like maybe I'm being played. But then again I'm not really used to online dating... I know that I don't really have the right to get mad at him because we don't have the boyfriend-girlfriend label.
But now I feel like he probably isn't as into me as I thought and I feel like pulling away to avoid getting hurt, and maybe ignoring him when he contacts me.
Should I bring this up to him, or should I start ignoring him and moving on, or should I do something else? Thanks.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Have you put a ring on his finger? Have you guys had the discussion about being exclusive? Or being 'together' in any specific form? He may very well be in to you, but you are far from claiming him as yours.

    If however you are feeling rather jealous or insecure about him still going on there, maybe you should speed up the progression of dating?

    who knows why he still goes on there? maybe its to look at people who have looked at him. maybe he is still conversing with girls from a long time ago. He may also have a mobile device or something that is automatically connecting? He could also be replying to girls that have sent him messages saying 'sorry but i am currently seeing this beautiful sweet girl and am no longer looking for anyone' to be polite.

    The ignoring thing in my opinion is a mistake. If this really is an issue for you, talk to him, then decide what you want to do when you are informed.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Don't ignore him or the problem. These kinds of things are going to happen in relationships and avoidance won't do you any good.

    I would just talk to him about and ask him. Be honest about it, and just ask him if he feels like he's ready to be exclusively dating you (I'm assuming this is what you want judging from your post). Tell him you really like him and that's where you see things going.

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  • I'll bet you are on there more than you're admitting to! So you were checking your emails on the site and not your real email address. Which would mean you gave out your real email address to a bunch of guys. Two months is plenty of time to know exactly what goes on on dating sites. Are you trying to tell us that you signed up and only went for this guy. He asked you because he saw you on the site and he asks if you still go there and you gave him a firm and resounding "not really". You should read what you post or do a better job of making it up as you go along!
    have you got a cute friend? Have her set up a profile and have her message him and see how far it goes.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Don't ignore him or confront him keep your options open he wants you to stay loyal while he stays open to other things if he can't be open and honest with you and just flat out tell u stuff then maybe getting together is not the best thing to do every girl wants honesty and a flat out answer and there are tons of good guys out there willing to just be straight forward and right to the point and loyal don't assume anything from him being online I've been threw this and just simply ask him if he feels guilty about anything because if he's feeling guilty he might flat out tell you what he's been doing or maybe is doing something he shouldn't be doing but keep your options open because there are good guys out there that won't treat you like that

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  • I do understand how you feel because I have been in your shoes before. He is keeping his options OPEN. Yes, he likes you, but it seems to me that he has a lot of time on his hands and the little bit of time he has, he goes on the site (ACTIVE, could also mean checking email and replying, not necessarily searching). Now, he may not mean that he is going to have the bond that he has with you, WITH other girls, but I wouldn't get all bent up out of shape about this and just stop talking to him. Just don't take him seriously because it's obvious that he isn't ready to jump into anything serious yet. I wouldn't bring it up because you guys do not have the girlfriend/boyfriend label and he doesn't like you enough to delete his account, the way you deleted yours. My advice to you is try to keep your account open until you get into a relationship or if you feel like online dating isn't really your forte anymore, don't delete it because you found someone interesting because online dating users are so rapid they are IN and OUT of your life with the drop of a hat.
    Honestly speaking, and I am not trying to discourage you at all, but most of the guys on those sites are players, because if you notice you will see the SAME faces OVER and OVER again.

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