Met a Nice Guy Online, Just Not Ready to Date Yet... How to turn him down so gently that I still have a chance?

So I'm fresh out of a long term relationship and just starting to think about what it might be like to start flirting. I joined a site to talk to new guys and see what I might have in store for me as I consider dating someone new. From the few online conversations we've had we seem compatible but we haven't even spoken on the phone yet and he'd like to go out with me. I'm interested, just not quite there yet. I'd like to be honest, but I don't want to scare him off. HELP!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Then be honest. I am in the same situation. 2 months divorced after 20 years of marriage. I would like to have a woman to text and email with. But it will be at least a few more months before i will even consider dating. Even if i was able to find someone that would date me.

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    • So how'd she take it? I see your point but as a woman in my 30s there comes a point when we have to cut to the chase! Unfortunately guys don't usually feel that type of pressure...

    • Sorry. I was not clear. I just mean same place as far as wanting a relationship. I have not found anyone to communicate with. This is the only site i am active on. I made a profile on pof but i put "only for the forums" in the heading and "dont want a relationship" in the description. I did put in that i would be willing to text or email to get to know the person.

What Guys Said 5

  • Don't go online if you aren't ready to meet anyone because it just means you're another girl sponging attention that all the guys complain about online. You can simply stop replying. Guys are so used to girls flaking out.

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  • @ixi10 i agree! also no matter how well you let him down, he'll probably have moved on by the time you are ready anyways so why try and put him on hold :P?

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  • I thought that it was against relationship rules that women go by to not have someone ready to go. Just stop replying. It is something that those sights are known for. Not to mention that they are even better because there are a lot of people stringing people along just looking for validation. Besides you would critcise the shit out of him for still being there. You'd call him a serial dater, a player or better still desperate. Calling him desperate at least you'd have something in common.

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  • You have no business being on a dating site in the first place if you're not ready to date, guys on there don't just want to flirt they want a relationship.

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  • I think you don't deserve the guy. I mean seriously if your not ready to date Why the hell are you on an online dating site? Seriously...

    No help for you at all.

    Your going to lose the guy.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Why are you online dating if you're not ready? Those people aren't looking for a flirt, they want something real

    You're leading him on

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  • Just be honest, say how much you enjoy talking to him and think he's really nice etc and just casually say about how you're not ready because you've only just got out of a relationship. Tell him the truth, make it clear.

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  • I don't think that you will scare him off. Just come clean and ask him if he could give you some more time because you are not ready to go out yet (say it in a gentle way). If he really likes you then I am certain that he will understand. You seem very sincere, I am sure he will continue to talk to you and give you the time that you need.
    Good luck.

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  • Don't flirt or join a website to talk to guys if you're not ready for a relationship yet. That can easily end up in you playing with a guy's emotions, if you're not really ready for a committed relationship yet but he develops feelings for you and wants to take it to the next level. That's like a little kid picking up a toy to play with for a little while.

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